Purgatory Repenting Believers Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Very Low
Level 2 Lustful Extreme
Level 3 Gluttonous High
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Extreme
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Low
Level 7 Violent High
Level 8- the Malebolge Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Very High
Overall, it rates me in the Third Circle: the land of the gluttons. I think it’s because I used God’s name in vain when there wasn’t an “all the freaking time, baby” option for the “Do you masturbate frequently” question. And I was eating a Big Mac at the time, too.
I rank very high in levels 3 thru 5 (Gluttonous, Prodigal and Avaricious, and Wrathful and Gloomy), high in levels 2, 6, and 7(Lustful Extreme, The City Dis, and Violent), moderate in levels 8 and 9 (the Malebolge Extreme and Cocytus Treacherous), low in limbo, and very low in purgatory.
You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.
Though I think some of the questions need some work: surely attending religious services being good or bad depends on whether it’s worshiping God in a church (which I might, if only I believed), or my staple of drinking and flirting at an (ironic) worshippers of Cthulhu meeting?
Seventh Level of Hell for lil’ ol’ me… is that bad?
Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.*
Dang, just because I like sex… and sometimes I hate people. And I don’t like God sometimes… GOSH! This makes me sound like I’m a bad person or something. SOB
I’m violent??? ponders
Purgatory Repenting Believers Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Very Low
Level 2 Lustful Very High
Level 3 Gluttonous Very High
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious High
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Very High
Level 7 Violent Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers High
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Moderate
I mean, I knew I was lusty but DAY-UM!
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief’s abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.
Purgatory Repenting Believers Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers High
Level 2 Lustful Low
Level 3 Gluttonous Moderate
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Very Low
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Very High
Level 7 Violent Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous High
I don’t know how I managed to end up so far down into Hell. I never go anywhere, do anything, hurt anyone (as far as I know). I try very hard to be a good person. I don’t get this at all. I know these little quizzes are all in fun, but I can’t help but find this upsetting.
I scored Very High in levels 1 and 5, but wound up swimming in the mud by the River Styx somehow. Must be that whole premarital sex thing, as I’ve never seen myself as being especially Wrathful or Gloomy.
The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | High
Level 3 | High
Level 4 | Extreme
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Extreme
Level 7 | Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus | High
I get to go to The City of Dis! W00t! Not bad not a non-practicing Satanist Agnostic.
DreadCthulhu Wouldn’t an elder god be far to alien to be sent to our mortal Hell. Even if you could be killed, could you be judged and sent to Hell without you taking it over from Satan? Do you even have a soul or heart to be judged?
The Dante’s Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo | Very High
Level 2 | Moderate
Level 3 | Low
Level 4 | Very Low
Level 5 | Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Low
Level 7 | Low
Level 8- the Malebolge | Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus | Low
I’ll be kickin’ it with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle, as well as Uvula Donor, drm, and Silenus.
I took the Personality Disorder test and got a Low on everything except Obsessive-Compulsive, on which I got a Moderate (Low and Moderate, says the website, indicate low probabilities of having a certain disorder). I have ADD, so I figured I’d get a little something on Obsessive-Compulsive. Thought I’d be in for a few of the others, too, but apparently not.
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to… the Seventh Level of Hell!
Purgatory Repenting Believers Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Low
Level 2 Lustful High
Level 3 Gluttonous Very High
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Moderate
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy High
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Very High
Level 7 Violent Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Moderate
Woo hoo! Level 7! Level 7! Extreeeme!
Sodomises psychic dude while dropping bombs on foreign churches and eating chocolate biscuits
The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | Very High
Level 3 | Moderate
Level 4 | Moderate Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge | High
Level 9 - Cocytus | High
Some of those questions had me thinking “do religious nuts actually consider that a sin?!” Let’s see if I can dig one up:
“Do you consider food to be one of life’s finer pleasures?”
Wtf? How is enjoying food a sin? (I answered false, because I don’t particularly enjoy food or eating, but it still annoyed me.)
