This is sort of a “My Two Dads” question prompted by the possibility of a real-life occurance.
If the father gains custody and moves in with another man, could you ever consider the other man a father?
Um, hm, I think I understand this correctly. I’m assuming the new guy is a partner to the dad.
I think it might depend on how old I was. If I was 2 at the time, yeah, I’d probably come to think of this guy as my dad if he was still around by the time I got older. If I was 16, I probably never would. I’m not sure where that line is.
If the two men in question were not romantically involved (i.e. just roommates), then I’d say no, he’d be a male role model and possible caregiver, and probably be considered outside the two men and child as the proverbial “uncle”. I’d say that it would be up to the child if he/she wanted to consider the other man as a father.
OTOH, if they were married in some fashion, again that would be up to the child to decide and a judge where the law was concerned. I remember in the movie Torch Song Trilogy that a gay couple managed to adopt a gay teenage boy. The boy called the more feminine of the two “mother”. It was a real riot seeing Harvey Fierstein marching down a school hallway to the principal’s office wearing a pink nightgown and pink fuzzy slippers to pick up his son after a fight. And in the The Birdcage the biological son of Robin Williams’ character refers to Nathan Lane as his “mother”. I don’t know enough gay couples to tell you if this might the case IRL as well.
IIRC My Two Dads concerned two men who knew that one of them was supposed to be the biological father but decided not to have blood tests done to prove conclusively one way or the other. I think they might have had an episode where the test was done but the results were only given to the judge or daughter? This isn’t quite the same as your scenario.
To quote from memory from a comic book I once read (Usagi Yojimbo, for the curious), “Jei] was with Jotaro when he was ill. He was there to teach him the lore of the mountains, to encourage him to grow, to comfort him when he was scared, to nurture him and care for him. He is Jotaro’s father, not you.”
Not simply sperm donation, that’s for sure.
A father is someone who raises a child, nurtures and teaches a child, and loves and supports a child.
If that’s two men in the same household, more power to them. My friend’s dad didn’t come out until he was 50, so it was just Dad & Frank.
Sorry about the ambiguity, we’re not gay, just friends. Interesting that that might change some people’s answers…