I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger piece of cinematic excrement than S.F.W. It had perhaps the single most unappealing lead character ever portrayed and absolutely no point.
It’s Pat sucked too but at least Ween was in it.
And to add my voice to Coldfire’s and Shy Ghost’s, I don’t understand Julia Robert’s popularity either. She can’t act her way out of a paper bag, and as for her looks, well, see for yourself.
http://us.imdb.com/Name?Roberts,+Julia
There’s a popular ghost story in Japan about an otherwise attractive woman whose mouth is a giant red gash going all the way across her face. If I ever decide to make a horror movie here, I’ll cast Julia to save on make-up costs.
–sublight.
I too hate Grease. Cheesy and aweful. Too many people at school LOVED this movie WAY too much. Utter annoyance. Also in this category of “Smothered to Death by Well-Meaninged College Students” is The Princess Bride. Listen, I loved it when I was 12, and it IS a fairly solid movie, but when you watch it every weekend, you NEED to get out more.
I have two:
Color of Night with Bruce Willis and Jane March. Sweet Jesus on a scooter, that was one bungled peice of crap. I don’t rate it as high on the scale as my next choice because I saw it at the drive-in during a rainstorm. It was actually enjoyable to be able to scream at the stupididty on screen with the car windows rolled up. This movie had to have the single stupidest action scene ever filmed: the killer (in a car) pushes another car off of the roof of a parking garage in an attempt to kill the hero on the ground. How in the name of Alan Smithee could the killer possibly have been able to see Bruce Willis on the ground if he was in a car on the roof? Scripts that don’t even give a whit about logic leave me fuming.
Lost in Space. This has to be hands down the worst movie I have ever paid money to see. I’m still steamed about it. Sure, the money was one thing. But you stole two hours of my life that I will never get back, you hack-writing bastards.
Sorry to hijack… but that is the funniest god damn sentence I’ve read in a long time. I can’t stop laughing over here!
The worst movie I have ever paid money to see was Highlander II. Oddly, it is not the movie I hate the most.
That spot is saved for GHOST. Simplistic, predictable and formulaic. However, my antipathy stems from the number of girls in my high school (including my girlfriend at the time) who thought it was deep, subtle and inspiring.
Wing Commander. Admittedly, I only saw this to see the EP1
(Phantom Menace-and THAT sucked, too) trailer, but dear LORD. Freddie Prinze in full smirk mode and cheesy CG>
Two hours of my life I’ll never see again. This was so bad it made the game it was based on (with Mark freakin’ Hamill-Duke Fartknocker himself) seem like high art.
The worst movie I ever sat through has got to be Mission to Mars. Bad plotline. Bad script. Bad acting. Good directing but such bad editing that it made the directing look heinous. No spoiler warning, 'cause if I spoil the movie so you don’t see it, I’ll be happy. Let me tell you:
Hey! I just pointed this radar gun at a rock formation and a huge rock-cyclone started up. I guess I’ll just stand here like a dumbass and hope nothing bad happens.
Such bad lines, and overacting in Tim Robbins’ death scene. And then five minutes of hearing his character’s wife screaming as we go back and forth between shot and counter-shot of her and his lifeless body drifting away.
Oh, and speaking of bad editing decisions, the scene near the end with the rocket-medallion was horrible. We start with a shot of the medallion in the guy’s hand, from his perspective and cut to a counter-shot of the guy’s face, as seen by the medallion, and then proceed to jump back and forth and back and forth between the two shots as the music crescendos. We are talking about deep hurting in this scene here.
Battlefield Earth is definitely one of the crappiest movies I’ve ever seen, if not the crappiest. I don’t know why I didn’t leave the theatre. Maybe I was waiting for something better to happen since all of it was crap. But no, it just got worse as the movie continued.
Half Baked is a movie I have not seen but I too have people quote that movie as if it were the Stoners’ Bible. I just don’t see the humor in it. Crap, maybe I should start smokin’ so I can see the humor in this one.
Outside Providence was just bad. I was expecting something along the lines of at the very least Dumb and Dumber or Kingpin, but this a major disappointment. I nearly tossed my lunch after watching this one.
Hey hey. I kind of liked GREASE, and I’ve only seen parts of Michael but I rather like it. (Gawd, i’m coming off as the world’s biggest John Travolta fan…sigh.)
I agree with those of you who bashed The Blair Witch Project. (Weird thing is, the radio dj was just ranting about how he hated it.) not scary enough for i.
I personally feel Star Wars the original is pretty screwed up.
Looking back now, I rather detest Aladdin. Anyone share these sentiments?
The Skulls. Piece of domkey crap. It didn’t deserve the celluloid it was developed on.
Theme? Rich boy gets into ivy league, gets car and money. Gets girl. And where does that leave the poor kids like me?
I’ve posted this before, but of all the caca movies I’ve seen, “Under The Cherry Moon” has to be the worst of the worst. And this coming from a forgiving Prince fan, too. What narcissistic merde!
Dances with Wolves.
This movie is PC propaganda in the same way that Red Dawn is right wing propaganda. (And this is coming from a left-winger.)
A person who only gets their history from movies might come away from DWW thinking that the Lakota Sioux of the 19th century were a peaceful tribe who only resorted to violence when attacked.
Uh…
This was hands-down the most warlike tribe on the plains. They gained their territory by driving off the other plains tribes, and were notoriously vicious.
Meanwhile, every non-Costner white guy in the movie is an evil, racist one-dimensional bastard. Criminy!
[pet peeve]
Why does every movie about Indians since about 1965 seem to perpetuate the “noble savage” stereotype? I sure would like to see an honest, even-handed portrayal of the Indian Wars. You know, one where there are good guys and bad guys on both sides. The movie Geronimo probably comes closest to achieving this.
[/pet peeve]
Not to mention, for such a secret society they sure as hell advertised. The parking lot outside the house looked like a Mercedes/Lamborghini sales lot, and the house itself had a big SKULL atop the roof. Helloooo?
The Pentagon is less obvious. Cape Canaveral is less obvious.
The “Skulls” writers should’ve watched Dead Poets Society once or twice.
GONE WITH THE FRICKING WIND
I’m sorry. I realize that’s blasphemous to some. Perhaps if I watched it again I could focus on the sets and the costumes and other technical elements.
But what I find so distracting was the character of Scarlett. How anyone could fall in love with someone so selfish, so spoiled, and so mercurial is beyond me. It makes the whole movie painful for me to watch. SHUDDER
The only movie I’ve ever walked out of is “Bram Stoker’s Dracula.” Where do I begin. Keanu? Winona? Gary Oldman? No, I can’t, remembering this movie will have me laughing so hard I’ll probably wet myself.
The only movie I recall walking out of was Armageddon, though I did suffer through most of it. But as it dragged on, the lack of any sort of sense in the plot finally got to me. It doesn’t quite deserve active loathing, though.
The movie that comes to mind that would make me leave the room, and even tell people watching it to turn it off, is Higher Ground. It wasn’t so much the plot or acting, but that it presumed to know something important about American college life. It oversimplified anything and everything it could. Bike safety comic book characters have more depth than the people in that movie.
Well, I haven’t seen the movie, but I assume that The Skulls is supposed to be loosely based on Skull And Bones, a “secret society” that’s been operating at Yale for well over a century. Evidently, everyone knows about The Tomb, their meeting location, but very little is known about the interior, and the former members don’t say squat about the organization’s inner workings.
Not that I’m contesting the assertion that the movie sucks.
Nine Months with Hugh Grant. What an unbelievable piece of %!#@$. I saw this in a theatre several years back, and it’s the closest I’ve ever come to walking out. (Wish my ride had felt the same way.)
Instant loss of respect for anyone who has this movie, or saw it and liked it. No, saw it and did not detest it.
The only movie I hate with all my heart is Happiness - the most evil, mean spirited piece of crap I’ve ever had the misfortune to sit through. Don’t believe people if they tell you it’s a black comedy, or a worthwhile expose of American society. It’s just shit.
I have to agree with Coldfire, too, about the abominable Meet Joe Black. Death has never been so wooden.
HenrySpencer
Disney’s Hercules. I found this distubing and completly without merit. I was not entertain, or amused and I was angry that I had spent money on it. Every minute grated on my nerves.