What old-fashioned name should I use for this purpose?

So why not Ludd, then?

If you start it with Whoa! Where’s my paper copy? then Nellie would sound right.

It’s decided, I’m not going to do it. I really appreciate all the input.

(for the record, I do like Jethro :))

mmm

Alan Ludd

Albert Q. Luddite
Herbert Steamengine
Archibald Henry Oldtimer
Edgar Last-Century
Richmond Progress Jones

Hortence

Eustace
Adlai
Bushrod
Methuselah
Throckmorton
Phineas J. Stovebottomtop

Matilda, or its variants Maude or Tilly, as in the “Aunt Tilly Test”.

What about a title or relationship instead, such as “Welcome to the 21st century, <grandma, mom, auntie, nana, etc.>…” that brings forth an image of someone who might not be on top of the latest trends?

yes