Then he’ll ask to come in ‘just for a minute’ because he needs to use the bathroom.
If so…insist that the dog be put back into his car ‘to keep it safe’ because otherwise the mutt will be inside your door. And then it will a thousand times harder to get it out again.
Absolutely. You are correct. And it’s exactly what ns was saying all along.
Let’s make a slight modification to this conversation.
ns: It’s not about the wife. Its about B not wanting cake.
Some other poster: Bullshit! It’s not about the wife. Its about B not wanting cake. Why are you insisting that B should have cake?
Now I’m picturing the OP’s dad as Bill Pullman.
You said it best shiftless.
I think that the OP threw out all those excuses because Dad bullies his way through the stop signs. The OP is searching for that one argument that will convince Dad to back off. Dad is a pro at this though and keeps coming back. Its probably going to take physical evidence (a locked door and a strong backbone behind the decision) to resolve this.
I guess you and I both had a different interpretation of post #75.
I suggest we agree to disagree and leave it at that.
Just don’t come crawling to me apologizing when my cake story wins an Oscar for best screenplay.
The only danger of invoking the landlord is if dear old Dad gets to the landlord and cajoles him into making an exception.
Otherwise, I have no issue with using the lease to enforce the dad’s behavior. Some people will never give up unless there’s a third party with authority who says no.
I guess we did. To me it came off as perfectly reasonable.
Best screenplay? As if.
Who are you going to get to play B?
Children get babysitters when they’re not invited. They survive it, the dogs can too.
Does anybody here not believe if the dog killed the cat that daddy would say it was the cat’s fault and not his?
Egads, I hope he doesn’t have that hair.
And apropos to this thread, “I’m not asking you to screw the dog, Carol! It’s for me.”
More likely that the cat would kill the dog. (Ailey is a scrappy thing and he’s cranky in his old age.) I had a visual of Ailey jumping the yippy idiot and scratching a cornea, which would then get infected, and it would be all MY fault.
Doesn’t matter though because the thing isn’t coming into the house.
So how is your resolve on this? I have a feeling that it’s going to take some real effort not to cave in. This might be a good time think about what sorts of consequences you are willing to face.
I’d also suggest rehearsing, out loud, what you plan to say or even role-playing the probable scene with a friend for practice. Bullies are extremely difficult to face.
Here’s what I expect:
[ol]
[li]Even though he’s been told that he cannot bring the dog, it’s likely that he’ll show up with it tomorrow evening.[/li][li]Hallgirl1 and Hallboy will both be there, and both know my standing of this. Both support my decision.[/li][li]He’s supposed to call before he leaves Arlington to let me know he is on his way. I will ask if he has the dog at that point. If he does, then I’ll ask what hotel he’s staying at.[/li][li]If no hotel, then I’ll tell him that perhaps we can meet up next time he’s in the area, but that he should NOT make the trip to Harrisburg. Hallkids and I will then go to dinner (as we’d planned), then do a bit of shopping. We will not be home if he should arrive with dog.[/li][li]If he arrives with dog (unannounced), then I’ll refuse to allow him in, telling him that I’m disappointed and will not tolerate his lack of respect towards my wishes (and demands). I’ll tell him to have a safe journey back to Tulsa. Hallkids and I will then go to dinner and shopping (no sense in ruining a perfectly good Friday evening!).[/li][li]If he arrives without dog, then he’s welcome to stay the weekend as planned. I will refuse, however, to listen to any whining about how he had to leave poor, lonely Chiquita in Arlington, or how much of an asshole my landlord is (who really isn’t), or how grumpy my cats are (they really aren’t). Even if they were, then too bad. [/li][/ol]
The consequences are that I don’t see him again, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
That sounds like a solid plan!
One question, though.
Suppose he arrives unannounced and with the dog. How much time will there be between when you turn him away and when you take the kids to dinner? Is it “Bye, dad, kids get your coats”? What if he throws a hissy fit or hangs around your front door with a hurt expression on his face?
Can I just say one thing about being a child of such parents? It takes a long time to stand up to your parents and say “No.” Just no, no excuses or anything. When your parents respect the word no from the get-go, as my SO’s parents do, it works. My parents never respected it and never will.
Of course your parents know how to work their way past all of your defences. They installed every button, of course they know the ones to push. Good parents let their kids grow up and be independent people. Bad parents always expect they will remain the “adult” forever and you, the child.
I still have trouble coming out with a direct “no” to my mother. I did it four years ago for something. She sulked for TWO YEARS. That was the first time I ever said no to her on a major thing. I did not back down, and eventually she came around, and it was a wonderful feeling.
These generally are parents that believe that if you don’t cut your hair the way they say, you are disrespecting them to the max. I’m 33, and I still pick and choose my words very carefully with my mother. *It takes time! *
Wait, is the rehearsal for the OP or Bubba’s movie? Did I miss the audition? I wanted to try to be A.
Looks to me like it’s about B not wanting cake and the wife, followed by an illustration of how A could try to use the wife to his advantage.
phall0106, good on ya. It’s sounds like you’re prepared. I’ll be anxious to hear how it goes. Best of luck to you.
Truly, do not be a stranger to this thread after tomorrow night.
You understand that we expect a blow-by-blow with excruciating detail, right?