Good: I’m really good at creative problem-solving. I’m good at seeing all sides of issues. I get along well with most people and I’m good at reading social cues, even though I’m a strong introvert.
Bad: I get into ruts, and when things are going okay I’m afraid to try for something better. I hold grudges for a looong time and can be a bit manipulative. I am very bad at hiding my boredom or the fact that I don’t like someone.
I like that I’m trustworthy and reliable. I dislike that I can really be a hard ass. I sometimes have a very difficult time relaxing if I know things need to get done. It’s quite the opposite of my husband and daughter. He can chill out and get things done later, I’m all about getting them done yesterday. My daughter is a total procrastinator. It works for them but makes me slightly crazy. I also don’t like that I’m more patient (I’m a teacher) with kids I work with than I am my own.
It literally was the School of Hard Knocks ! I was hit in the head so many times the right side is now numb . Thank you for the compliment ! I didn’t get any growing up . I found out recently from my oldest sister that mom thought I was smart and very quick in thinking . SHIT ! Now I hear about and mom been dead 9 years and lived to be 93 yo ! This really didn’t much to me not hearing from my mom . She had 93 years to tell me this.
Don’t be too sure about that, and anyway, odds have nothing to do with it. There are plenty of us women who were never attracted to the cookie-cutter football hero, celebrity, pretty-boy, jock types. These are the women who are drawn to the shy, reserved, chilly, introverted geeks who hide in their carrels if they’re students, in their offices if they’re older, and in their apartments if they’re retired. I know whereof I speak. As teenagers these women had crushes on Sherlock Holmes and Mr. Spock. So be vigilant. One of these women might be sneaking up on you. 
I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said. Not the hard knocks part, but my mother will be 93 in a couple of weeks (she’s in assisted living) and has virtually never paid me a compliment. Recently she did say, “It’s too bad we don’t have a comb so you can comb your hair.” Right. :rolleyes: It’s a long story and would require a pitcher of margaritas (or twelve).
Bad - I’m not at all empathetic or compassionate. I don’t wish people ill, I just don’t really care about many people outside my immediate family and my few closest friends.
I am lazy and procrastinate, and consistently achieve WAY below my potential.
I’m profane, and I tend to talk too much, and too honestly.
Good - I’m independent and self-reliant. I take care of what I wish taken care of, and I don’t blame other people when shit happens.
I am extremely capable of organizing complex issues, establishing hierarchies. Unfortunately, this can cause me to be impatient with folk who focus their attention on the less important issues - unless resolving all of the minor issues will result in resolving the major ones.
No, seriously - I do not leave the house, at least not for recreational activities where anyone I don’t already know is there. I don’t bar crawl, I don’t go dancing, I don’t go bowling, I don’t go skydiving, I don’t go hunting the most dangerous game - all the usual places where people meet socially, I’m not there. So unless one of these women either jumps me while I’m grocery shopping (okay, or toy/dvd shopping) or is literally crawling in through my apartment window, they’re going to have a hard time catching me.
I don’t do any of those things and never have (I’ve never been bowling in my life), and yet I’ve managed to be married twice and in three other long term relationships. Met these guys at work and at church. One of them I met when I bought a computer from him at Gateway.
Do you seriously think that everyone who is partnered engaged in all or any of those activities? I’m here to tell you: no, they didn’t. You do not have to be “out looking” for someone. If there’s someone out there for you (and I’m not saying there is–but you can’t say for certain that there isn’t), you will stumble into each other somehow.
One of those things is very likely what will happen.
That is good you can’t relate to the hard knocks part ! OMG ! That was so uncalled for from your mom . Why the fuck do people have children when they don’t like them !!!
You are cordially invited to continue to imagine that this is possible. I will exercise my option not join you in that activity.
It’s outside your control and mine. But you remember we had this discussion when it happens.
Recently my mother admitted that she was not cut out for marriage or motherhood. She had an aunt who was a nun, and she should have joined what was then a very large order, and they would likely have trained her as a cook. I think she could have had a good, contented life as a nun.
:dubious: Given that one of the two “very likely” options was women stealthily crawling in through my apartment windows, I actually do have a modicum of control - I lock those puppies.
Yep, I’m actively locking out the advancing hordes of lovely ladies. Told you I’m introverted!
I’m also an introvert, my friend, so you can’t tell me anything about that. What if your apartment catches on fire and a female firefighter comes in through your window to rescue you?? Ha! I’ll have the last laugh then. And anyway, there don’t need to be “hordes”-- just one. Statistics only predict group/aggregate events, not individual ones. Anyhoo, this horse is dead, so I’m going to leave it here… But you just wait and see…
Good: I’m reliable, prompt, and care deeply about people.
Not so good: I beat myself up too much if I inadvertently hurt someone. I could never tell if someone was attracted to me unless they told me directly (Ms. P did, which could be the only reason I haven’t posted a bazillion of those “why don’t women like me” threads). It doesn’t matter now, but caused untold misery in my teens and twenties.
It’s interesting that all of us have many things in common (or maybe that’s to be expected). We like that we have empathy, we’re reliable, tenacious, analytical. We don’t like that we’re lazy, quick to anger, hold grudges.*
Of course, we’ve self-selected to be on a board that would ask such a question, so there’s that.
*Hehe, if I put the faults in alphabetical order, it would be Yom Kippur all over again. 