I don’t know whether to define this as a quirk or personality, but I really feel uncomfortable around people that will just explode into anger with no warning. Their emotion seems to have no context to the rest of their life- they can be cheerful during the worst of times, yet be the devil incarnate when everything is going their way. Folks like this often leave me wondering, “Did I piss him off or is he just crazy?”
Not surprisingly, my father acted like this when I was younger and I was absolutely terrified of him. Ever since, people that behave in a similar way make me extremely nervous.
People who are unstable in mood, as you mentioned, I can’t stand. I don’t like to have to walk around on eggshells just because they can’t handle things.
I can’t stand phonies, or people who are just naturally dishonest and scheming. If I can’t trust what you’re saying, I simply don’t have time to talk to you to sort it out. Don’t say you like me and then tell someone else you don’t like me. If you don’t like me, fine – but don’t come on as super sweet and nice and then stab me in the back.
I can’t stand people who are petty or controlling, especially in the work environment, or want to make the world follow their little set of expectations. I have no time for your stupid games. I’m on salary and I’m not putting in extra hours to jump through your silly hoops that make no sense. I’ll follow my boss’ rules, and anyone else up the ladder, and the corporate rules. If you are a tyrant admin that decides you are going to require other things, I will adhere only so far as my boss requires. Beyond that, if you want everything a certain way, then do it yourself.
People who, while I am talking, nod like they are listening intently, but then say something so off the wall, that you know they did not hear you and they were simply thinking of the next thing they wanted to say!
People who are always pessimistic/depressed (without a medical condition)
I used to know a girl who was kind of like Omarosa on the first season of the Apprentice. She was sort of a delusional narcissist. I also work with a guy like that. People like that will do anything. They will just do anything! They’ll tell really crazy, outrageous lies, or mislead people, or twist things, but they believe their own lies and think they’re the victim when someone calls them on it. They believe that they are better than other people, and they have to keep believing it because it’s their only coping mechanism. So anything that challenges the “fact” that they’re the most important person ever will put them in a rage of incomprehension.
It amazes me how many people like that walk among us. Usually they get away with their nonsense for a long time because you just can’t believe anyone would be so outrageous, you just figure you must be mistaken. Or lots of people won’t be perceptive enough to figure out what’s going on. By the time everyone finally realizes how nuts the person is, the person has gotten away with most of their goals: promotions, raises, boyfriends, attention, etc. Then when everyone finally figures it out and hates them, it just confirms in their mind that they are the center of the universe, because now they are the biggest victim of a giant conspiracy of mean people! When they move on to their next job or clique, they will have tales of victimhood to tell and of course they will spin it that everyone was jealous.
It’s really more than just a quirk, but it seems to be really common and the fact that people like that get away with so much shit means it might as well be just a quirk.
People whose only amusing anecdotes start with, “Oh, my God, this one time I was so drunk that…” (I have no problem with funny stories about being drunk - I’ve got a few myself - however, I once had a boss whose only stories began with “I was so drunk.” I was considered odd because my anecdotes often started differently.)
Debating with someone when you can see by their expression that they’re not listening to what you’re saying, but are thinking of a rebuttal to your point.
And, when you’re chatting to people in a group, nine times out of 10, there’s always some jackass who assumes every question or comment you make is addressed directly to them. My mom does this all the time and it makes me crazy. At family gatherings, I’ll be standing around, talking to my cousins and husband, she’ll join the group and I’ll ask my husband or cousins a question, and she answers it, even though she has no idea what the context is!
Finally, I hate people who think everyone else’s tragedy is somehow also theirs. This is another thing my mom does. One of her friends’ siblings’ in-laws (or some other person only related to her by the seven-steps rule) will get sick or experience something rotten, and she’ll call to tell me all about it, and moan and cry, “Oh, such a tragedy. Just a tragedy.” And I’ll ask, “So, have you met this person?” And she’ll say, “Well no, but I think you’re heartless if this doesn’t move you.” Maybe I am, but I have no idea who this person is, and you’ve never spoken their name until now.
People who whine. And not even bitching whining, just whining as their normal everyday tone of voice.
I work with a girl like this and everything out of her mouth is nasal and drawn out. She can’t just say “yeah”, it’s always “yeeeeaaaaahhhhh”, or “I knoooowww” or “Can they dooooooo thaaat?” It’s the verbal equivalent of nails on the chalkboard, and everytime she speaks I just want to smack her. Too bad, because otherwise she’s not unpleasant.
And people who view little polite inquiries (how’re you?, what’s up?) as the perfect opportunity to launch into a 30 minute analysis of the indigestion they had last night or their toenail that just fell off. They suck too.
Are you my long lost sibling? We apparently had the same father. It was impossible to tell what little thing would tick him off, and his tirade would last the entire rest of the day. I remember running and hiding when I heard him come home from work, even if I hadn’t done anything wrong. It took me a long time to learn how to deal with people’s anger (including my own).
In short, I can’t stand being around people who can’t be reasoned with. Another example would be people who won’t accept an obvious fact of reality because it’s at odds with their religious dogma. There’s no way to reason with these people.
I can’t stand people who are perpetually perky 24/7. Don’t they have a power down button? What kind of medication are they on? How much severe denial are they wallowing in? The thing that kills me is that they don’t understand why everyone else isn’t as perky as they are.
Ditto on the sudden bursts of anger. I think I must have found my two long-lost siblings. Living in my house was kind of like growing up in a war. You had no idea what was going to hit or how bad it would be.
Spitting. Especially on the sidewalk, extra especially when I can see you do it. One time a friend was over and feeling particularly congested, and using an empty can as his “hock a loogie” receptacle. I had to leave the room after about 5 minutes, because I was ready to vomit. Just thinking about it makes the back of my throat clench.
The worst feeling in the world is when you think someone likes you or respects you, or even that you just have something in common with them, and then suddenly you realize that they’ve just been bullshitting you to get on your good side.
It’s slightly less annoying when they’re really blatant about it so that you don’t get tricked by them. But only slightly.
The SO of an aquaintance of mine is always saying, “Oh my god, you know, you’re soooo right. I feel exactly the same way!” in this totally forced, overly-sincere voice while leaning in and gazing into your eyes like she’s just discovered some deep cosmic connection with you. I just want to roll my eyes and say, “Listen, sister, just lay off with the neediness, m’kay? It’s not like you have anything to gain by buttering me up, for crissakes.”
Oh, absolutely. I cannot remain friends with someone who whines. It makes my hackles rise and my teeth itch. I can forgive a lot of other annoying traits short of psychopathy long before whining.
Podkayne that is exactly what I was going to say! Wow - it is like you are in my head. You are so smart, you said it better than I ever could. I can see that we are going to be best friends, because we think exactly alike!
My own current issue is with people who self-describe as ‘just being honest’ or ‘real.’ The ‘I just tell it like it is, and I can’t help it if other people can’t handle it’ guys. This seems to be becoming a bigger trend lately or else I am just sensitive to it. I have learned that 9 times out of 10 people who say this really mean ‘I am a big fat jerk who gets off on insulting people or saying stupid things and pretending I am doing them a favor by being honest.’ Also, ‘I am really intense’ = I am going to go off on a tirade about anything, but it’s just my ‘intense’ personality. I am better than those wimps who won’t say what they are feeling all the time!’ :rolleyes: This especially bothers me when it is women who do this in the name of assertiveness and then claim other women hate her because she is so sure of herself, and men hate her because they fear a strong, independent woman. No, they just don’t like being around you because you are shrill and can’t keep your mouth shut.
I have a problem with people who are so insecure with themselves, that they will agree with everything everyone says, no matter what, or even change their own opinion mid-sentence to go with someone else’s. There is nothing more obvious to me than someone afraid of voicing their own opinion.
I don’t like interrupters. If I am talking, I want to finish my thought before someone jumps in with theirs. Even worse, I hate it when I’m talking, and someone decides that they know what I’m going to say, and they finish my thought with me. When I’m feeling especially mean, I’ll change my sentence just as they jump in so we say different things. Take that!
I hate people who can’t accept their “quirk” for being real, honest-to-God mental illness, and they think it’s just a little, harmless thing they do. I know two people who suffer from devastating mental illness, and neither of them will admit to it, or accept the treatments they were prescribed by psychiatrits. Instead, they think that they have these funny little quirks that people should get used to. In a similar vein, I don’t like it when people with minor quirks or normal off-days blow them out of proportion and start crowing about their crippling mental illness. Sheesh!
I would think AmericanMaid, panache45 and Incubus are MY long-lost siblings, but for me it was my mother.
I HATE super-perky women with a passion. Our office has a steady stream of vendors who come in regularly, all of them super-perky women with permanent Joker-like grins and loud, high-pitched sing-song voices, and they go zipping and bouncing around like Flubber with cascading hair. They literally make my stomach clench. I almost feel guilty for not liking them 'cause they’re so nice.
I also can’t abide flamboyant, effeminate gay men.
I can’t stand people who cheat or steal. Especially when they justify it by saying its harmless or the victim deserved it. No, its just that you’re human scum, is all.
And I too hate the sniffling thing. Also people who clear their throats all the time.
I have to admit to having exactly the opposite problem. I come from a very volatile, quick-tempered family. When something bothers us, we shout about it. While I understand this isn’t pleasant for those around us, once we’ve vented - it’s forgotten. We never brood, or hold grudges, and because of that I find it very difficult to be around people who do. It baffles that someone would hold onto a grievance for weeks and weeks, nuturing it and building on it, till it ends up much worse than it ever needed to be, simply because they didn’t express their feelings sooner.
I really hate people who insult you, and then follow it up with, “Hey, I’m just giving you a hard time, you can take a joke, can’t you?”
They’re usually doing this to control others. And to establish a hierarchy with them above their targets: if you can insult me, and you can bully me into not insulting you back, it’ll raise your apparent status.
A side effect: by putting people on edge, it can discourage sincere, good-natured attempts at humor.
