Seemingly a simple question: What should we tell children regarding Santa Claus?
Children will be exposed to the belief in Santa Claus regardless of what parents tell them, as their playmates will certainly bring up the topic.
But should parents raise their children to believe in the myth and enjoy the belief in a present bearing Yule visitor, or should they be raised to see the belief as a falsehood?
Personally I was raised to not believe in Santa Claus, as my parents thought such things distracted from the birth of Jesus, and was bordering on pagan beliefs. I raised my own sons to enjoy the belief - more as a fantasy than as truth.
Most parents have to make this choice…what is your choice and what are your reasons?
Let kids be kids. We already seem to hanging more and more responsibility on their little shoulders: grades, homework, don’t go out and play where I can’t see you, etc.
Let the little people have a bit of wide-eyed fun and fantasy. What’s the harm? By the time they’re what, 10, 12 years old they will no longer believe, but that magical, mystical belief in Santa is wonderful for kids. Mine are still at that age.
So the belief in Santa distracted from the belief in the son of God Himself strolling the planet, curing the terminally ill, turning water into wine, walking on water, and then flapping his arms and ascending to heaven with his mortal coil after death, eh?
I foster a belief in Santa Claus in my sons, if only knowing ahead of time that their age of innocence will be crushed by the realities of the world soon enough. They are little kids, it does them no harm to believe in a fantasy for a few years until they know the truth.
It does them no harm, certainly, but it also does them no harm not to believe in Santa Claus, and I don’t think parents who chose that route are doing anything wrong–there is plenty of magic in childhood with or without Santa Claus.
What we did was to not particularly foster the belief, but not deny it either. When they got old enough, and started questioning, we helped them develop their chain of logic, to examine why they started doubting. That way when they stopped believing, it was a plus, since they had figured it out themselves. It worked pretty well. My philosophy is never to discourage doubt and skepticism, when internally generated.
My youngest always hated Santa, and said that her grandfather brought presents. She was right - he and I moved them around to the basement when she and the others were at church to hear carols.
Kids these days already know there’s no Santa Claus. I mean, if there was, wouldn’t he have stopped Admiral Zhao and the Fire Nation from attacking the Northern Water Tribe? Surely the Avatar would have sensed the presence of such a powerful being!
(In the Fire Nation, good kids get coal in their stocking, because coal is the main power source of their technology. Bad kids get a dead fish.)
Children should be taught the truth: There really is a Santa Claus. And he really does know if you’ve been bad or good. And he’s got this really, really mean side that nobody ever talks about. Sleep tight!
We talk about Santa Claus as a fiction in our house, because my wife still remembers the crushing experience of the Great Santa Revelation with considerable bitterness.
My parents know an Athiest family that just sat their children down and told them that there was no santa claus, and they were only getting a few presents.
Those kids got so much sympathy from all the other parents it was incredible…and everyone else thought less of them as parents. (They did it in a very cruel way, and told everyone about it).
This makes me wonder–how far away from Christianity do you have to be before it stops being strange or odd to tell your kids there is no Santa.
Like, for example, would other parents feel bad for the little Jewish (or insert any non-Christianity religion) kids who don’t believe in Santa? How are atheists any different? If you’re an atheist and want to celebrate Christmas in a secular way, but don’t want to go all out with the Santa thing, I don’t see why anyone should or would care.
Or, what about like in the case of the OP–Christians who celebrate Christmas, and so forth, but who personally feel it should be about the birth of Jesus and that the whole Santa thing is unnecessary.
My wife is heavily into Xmas, and would always hang the stocking and put out cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. Our daughter had plenty of cultural exposure to Santa from stories, songs and cartoons without us emphasizing the reality of the jolly old saint.
When she started asking questions about whether there was really a Santa, I’d say all I know is that we put out cookies and carrots every year and the next morning someone has eaten them.
That kept her pondering for an extra couple of years.
And to address the differences between our God and Santa strategies, we were always straight forward about doubting the existence of gods. We figured she’d safely outgrow Santa and learn a little about life, society and thinking for yourself. On the other hand, a lot of people get religion only because they are indoctrinated as children and can never consider the issue objectively.
If she grows into it on her own, that’s her life and her own call.
I don’t have kids, but I would tell them the truth. I dislike the idea of deliberately deceiving my children to encourage them to believe in an imaginary person, even if my motives were good.
I am a devout atheist who believes that people should be rational and respect reality.
That being said . . . if I had kids I would encourage them to believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and shooting stars and birthday candles and everything else that’s irrational and magical. Except religion, that is. I’d have to draw the line somewhere.
Teach then that Santa lives on Greenland. Certain individuals suffer under the misunderstanding that Santa Claus lives on the North Pole or in gasp bloody Finland – but that is nothing but dirty heresy. Santa lives in Greenland. This is the only true and correct thing to teach your kids about Santa.
Little kids aren’t born with a structured world paradigm from which to evaluate beliefs. What you want to work toward is a model that lets them have fun suspending belief in Hard Science when it’s necessary to just enjoy the magic of the rainbow, while not devoting their lives looking for the pot o’gold at the end of it. And while they are at it, not becoming so cynical that they embark on crusades trying to wreck everyone else’s benign beliefs just for the pleasure of imparting the Ruinous Truth.
The SC dilemma comes in b/c of two things: parents don’t want their kids hurt by the sudden revelation/realization that Claus is a hoax, and parents don’t want to be seen by their cheern as having lied to them. ( “Will she believe me that having sex with Johnny can make her pregnant if I lied to her about Santa Claus?” )
Don’t worry about the second part. Going along with the SC mystique in a playful sort of way is not going to hurt your credibility with your urchins. About the same time they are old enough not to be faked out anymore they’ll develop the understanding that Mom and Dad were just funning them b/c life is fun, and it’s fun sometimes to pretend magic is real.
As to the fear of traumatizing the little punkins because they got the schoolyard vicious denouement for their belief instead of the “Yes, Virginia, all-is-well in your fantasy-world” reassurance letter from that Monkey Wards guy, don’t worry about that either. I have never once (nutcase posters chime in here to contradict me and tell us the sad song of your personal tragic experiences) never ever never heard where it was an Actual Serious Psychologic Setback for Timmy to find out the Claus man is a Scientific Fraud. You raise that kid with love and tender reassurance when appropriate, and he ain’t gonna stop trusting you because you told him Santa gave him the Red Flyer.
In general, I loathe children like any self-respecting surly geezer whose offspring have long since become friends instead of children. But at the risk of ruining my reputation I’d like to step out here in favor of their chance to have some benign fun. Parents who think their kids shouldn’t be allowed a period of genuine Magical Delight are jerks. Their kids will be jerks too. The brighter kids will have fun figuring it out by 7 or so; a little longer for the slow learners. If they are really retarded, you probably should drop a hint or two by age 18 so they don’t embarrass themselves on the first date or try to get Father Christmas to pony up the college tuition.
