My biological parents divorced when I was still in the womb and my dad married my stepmother three months after I was born. For the first six or so years of my life, I was raised by my mom and extended family/friends but in '88, my mom married my stepdad and during the past 14 years, I was raised by them (and my aunt whom I consider a third mother) with occasional input from my dad and stepmom, who didn’t take an active part in my parenting but were always there when I needed them.
Yes. Mom and Dad were married in July 1958, I was born in August 1959, and a sister ('61) and two brothers ('63, '65) followed. My parents are still together. In contrast, only the youngest of “the kids” is now married, and he just tied the knot a month ago after living with Jennifer (divorced mom of two boys) for a couple of years. My other brother married a single mother and adopted her son, but is now divorced. My sister lives with her long-time “boyfriend”, while I am in a committed relationship with a woman but will live alone until her kids are all out of high school (oldest graduates this year, youngest in 2009). So based on this admittedly limited sample, the 1950’s-style nuclear family indeed seems a near-anachronism.
Start in 1962. That’s when my oldest sister was born. On my mom’s side. She divorced her first husband about ten years later. Move up to '67. My dad and his first wife have my second sister. 1970 is my oldest brother, also my dad’s, a makeup baby. It didn’t work. So they divorced and my mom and dad got married in '72. 1973 is the younger brother, quickly followed in '75 by the sister closest in age to me. Then you have to skip all the way to '81 for me. So it adds up to a total of four girls and two boys. There are also two girls, completely unrelated to me, who are nonetheless halfsisters to my halfsisters. They’re lovely too. So maybe there’s 8 of us. 18 years between me and my oldest sister. My mom was 39 when I was born. My sister was away at college. She came home for the weekend to see me.
My parents are somehow, crazily, still married after almost 32 years. My dad was an alcoholic to the point of breakdown. It’s a family trait. Still the sodding incident I posted about earlier was when he was completely sober.
I was born 4 months after my parents got married. I have a brother and sister and we were mainly raised by my mom, since my dad worked out of town quite often, sometimes for weeks at a time. He also got kicked out for lengths of town here and there, and Mom and dad finally got divorced when I was 11 or 12.
Mom never dated much while we were growing up, but recently got remarried to a great guy. Dad has had a bunch of bad relationships with a few good ones thrown in.
Maternal grandparents got married after a very short courtship and are still married over 50 years later. Paternal grandparents were married for a long time, divorced, remarried each other and then re-divorced each other. My grandpa died when I was 7, but I don’t remember any bad blood between them, and he went back to live in my grandma’s house again right before he died.
Dad was a complete fuck-up. I was raised by Mom, alone at first, then with evil stepdad number 1.
My parents are still married to each other, they were married when he was 35, she was 28, first marriage for both.
4 daughters, 3 living. I’m the eldest, 14 months between me and my sister, 2 years between her and the next sister, who died the day after she was born. Then fast forward 3 years to baby sister’s birth. Stereotypical family life, big house, big garden, dog and cat, church (Protestant) every Sunday, mum is a doctor, dad is a financial advisor.
My maternal grandmother has lived with my parents since their marriage, and still does. She helped raise all of us, she still makes my sister’s bed every day and makes breakfast for the family every day, despite our protestations to rest. she was married at 30 to my grandfather who was in his late 40s. It was her first marriage, his second (his wife divorced him when the Nazis came to power and being married to a jew wasn’t so great). He emigrated to Zimbabwe in the early 30s, became an accountant and met my grandmother, who was working as a nanny. They raised their 3 kids as Catholic.
My paternal grandparents were married in their early 20s and never divorced. They had 2 kids, who were both sent to boarding school, they died before I was born. They were Northern Irish Protestants, grandfather owned a quarry and some warehouses and trained race-horses in his spare time, grandmother never worked.
Wow! so many different families.
My parents started dating each other in grade school( I think), and got married before either was 19. I was born less than 9 months later. I have one younger sister and one younger brother. ours was an oddly functional household. Lots of screaming and yelling, lots of love, and total acceptance of each of us as individuals. My parents are very unique. We were allowed to skip school to go to museums and such and we were taught to think for ourselves. Once a friend of my parents asked me what I would do with normal parents, and at 15, I could not even imagine the concept. My parents are still married, and cannot be away from each other for more than a week. They still yell. I am very close to all of my family. We have lived within the same cities for the last 14 years and within 5 miles or less for the last 10 years( in 4 different cities). I currently share a house with my parents, my brother and my 2 kids. My sister and her family live close by.
Raised by both biological parents, they are still married (58 years and counting), one brother 5 yrs older. Grew up in the foothills of Appalachia, basic middle class roots.
Before you start picturing the Thomas Kinkade scene, it was not exactly so. Mother has had mental issues as long as I can remember. Life would be fine then she would suddenly go off the deep end for days at a time. Still not sure why our Father never decided he had had enough. Well, actually I think I do. Between his stubborn desire to make it work and his nack for being able to ignore her rants, he’s managed to keep it togther. She has managed to nitpick apart any relationship with friends or family over the years to where the two of them are about all they have left. She was the youngest of five, still has one sister living but they havn’t spoken in years (it was the same with her other sisters as well). Sad, but what you going to do. I can maintain a semi luke-warm relationship from afar, but even that is a chore. I can’t recall the last time they picked up the phone to call me or even bothered to contact thier grandchildren on a birthday or Xmas. If that’s the way they want to live, so be it. They are the ones missing out on life.
Youngest of six. Biological parents who stayed married until my dad’s death in December. All of us are married and those that want kids are cranking them out at an alarming rate.
I have an ungodly number of relatives. Over 100 first cousins. I can’t even begin to count the generation after that.
My parents married at 18 and divorced a little over 10 years later, when my sister was 10 and I was 6. After the split Mom, Sis, and I went to live with Mom’s parents. I credit them with a generous amount of the work that went into raising us though Mom was always “primary”. We didn’t hear one word from Dad for about 18 years. Now we send cards and speak 2 or 3 times a year.
Mom never remarried. She dates some. Dad remarried and divorced 10 years later. He might have some step kids, but I’m not sure.
I married at 28 had a baby at 29 and divorced at 31. My sister is married and has been for 4 years.
In my relatively small hometown our circumstances seemed turbulent and unusual. Compared with some histories shared in this thread it was downright tame.
Wow.
I have the typical suburban background. Raised by my birth parents, who are still married after 56 years. My grandmother lived with us (my mother’s mother - another German grossmutti like TVeblen’s), which I now recognize could have been disastrous but worked out wonderfully. The only time I ever saw my father cry was when his mother-in-law died, including when his parents died.
I thought it was normal to get along like we did.
I have an older sister, an older brother, and a younger sister. My younger sister will have her twenty-fifth anniversary this year, my brother his twentyseventh, and the Lovely and Talented Mrs.Shodan and I hit anniversary 23 later next month. My older sister has only been married about three years, but she lived with him for ten years before that.
As my mother said, “The first thirty years are the hardest.”
Regards,
Shodan
My parents were twenty years apart in age and each were married only one time - to each other. I am the second oldest of seven children. Dad died when I was 12; their youngest child was 1 at the time. Mom is an indisputable contender for sainthood. She never remarried, but she had a long-time boyfriend who was the “Dad” figure to my five brothers, a couple of whom have no memory at all of Dad. My siblings have varying degrees of idiosyncratic weirdness but are basically okay. I have turned out remarkably well adjusted.
My husband was raised by both his parents. They were married to each other (and only to each other) for over 40 years. He is remarkably well adjusted, too. We’re a good match.
Eldest of 4.
Mom & Dad are still together, after more than 40 years.
Dad had some alcohol problems, but is past them.
Grandma helped raise us as much as Mom & Dad, until her mental illness in the 80’s.
She spent some time in the hospital, & then got her own apartment, due to friction with Mom. That period was the hardest in my life.
The family yelled & shrieked at each other like harpies the whole time we were growing up.
But Heaven help anybody outside the family circle who messed with one of us.
Raised by both parents, who are still married after tying the knot in 1950.
One brother, eight years my senior.
No fighting, yelling, drunkenness, prison time, or other nastiness, thank goodness.
Two bio-parental units, who remained together until my mom’s death in '93. Grew up in the same town with my maternal grandparents, who also remained together until his death.
To date, no one’s been able to explain how I came out of all this normalcy.