What species is your monkey butler?

Monkey butlers. We all adore them. But when you picture your dream monkey butler, what kind of monkey is he? Capuchin? Rhesus? Macaque? Baboon?

And while we’re at it, what are his primary duties? His strengths? Does he get to wear a hat with his uniform?

I know I may be courting trouble, but the idea of a mandrill butler sounds too awesome to be true.

It would be a Rhesus named Peanut Butter Cup.

You gotta go with the Chimpanzee. They’re the Cadillac of monkeys.

Ringtailed lemur, of course. His primary duty is to bite my prostitutes right on the face. :wink:

Gods. When my eyes flicked over the title I thought it said ‘What spices in your monkey butter?’

Spider monkey, because my monkey butler greats guests by swinging by his tail from the chandelier. Plus, he has more hands and feet free to carry my stuff.

Bonobos. Their tool use and conflict resolution system can’t be beat.
I want several bonobos because otherwise, I expect my cats to be frequently violated.
Duties include all domestic chores such as cleaning, ironing and probably cooking if they show enough potential.

I will also make them type randomly on computer keyboards and see if the saying is true.

The use of hats will be entirely dependent on whether the historical character they’re dressed as that day wore one.

Note: I presume that when you say “monkey”, you mean to include all primates.

Japanese macaque. Massage and light cleaning.

Well, I hadn’t considered that but why not? But not humans. Where’s the fun in that?

If you get to treat them like monkeys, SO MUCH!

Whatever kind is good at getting these bloody splinters out of my foot.

The Red Uakari Monkey–as I think he looks a little like Winston Churchill, or a senior law partner, or a stockbroker,or…a butler.

A flying monkey from Oz.

A gorilla. With a bow tie.


I have no problems with the neighbors.

You stole mine. But add a top hat.

I would pick a male Proboscis Monkey. He would wear a porkpie hat and his main job would be to answer the door and scare away Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Take a wild guess.

Something likeMagilla Gorilla?

Gorilla with a top hat and monocle. If chimps are the Cadillac, then they’re the Bentley of monkeys.

ETA: He must have Stephen Fry’s voice.