Swag- things you get from your job that’s not generally handed out to the public. I’m not talking about pilfered staples or things ill-gained from your workplace, I’m talking about things freely given to you just because you work there.
I work in a dermatology office, and some of the things I’ve gotten for free are: Laundry soap, lotions, anti-fungals and anti-dandruff shampoos, soap, and promotional items given to us by drug reps such as socks, duffel bags, makeup, and an over-the-counter facial peel.
Also, just last week, I got a free ($200 cash value) laser treatment on a big red “spider nevus” (mole) on my cheek. That thing was really bothering me, and when the tiny scabs are gone, it’s gonna look great.
I also get skin checks any time I request one, which is nice as my grandfather died of melanoma so I’m paranoid about getting that.
What kind of swag do YOU get?
When I was a sports editor, I would get various freebies – mostly in the form of T-shirts of teams whose logos I would never be tempted to adorn my body with. I once got a golf club. And I got a couple of boxes of Wheaties in an unintentionally funny promotion for a Monday night game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins. It was unintentionally funny because, going into the game, one of the teams was 0-5 and the other was 0-4 – a hell of a lousy game to play up with a promotion! The cereal was tasty, though.
I get to buy official Maximum Security Correctional Institution logo hats and sweatshirts. No, not the kind the inmates wear!
They make great Xmas gifts.
:::schemes to get on QtM’s Xmas list:::
I got as a welcome aboard thing from my current employer a cheap plastic level/tape measure (to remind me to keep a level head and always measure up) and a cheap plastic LED keychain light (there was some horrid company thing that went along with that too but I forgot it). At my last job I got a denim shirt and a long-sleeved T with the company logo, neither of which I have ever worn, a gym bag to commemorate a year of service (actually useful and thankfully lacking the company logo) and various and sundry pens, pads and the like. We had a contract with Western Union to process our customer payments so WU would send over bags of stuff every so often. I got a t-shirt which I use as workout clothing and assorted squeezie stress-ball-like fruits emblazoned with the WU name. Bunch of grapes, pineapple, ice cream bar (I know, not a fruit), some others.
Many years back when you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a SUccessories poster in a workplace, the boss at my job at the time passed out packs of post-its emblazoned with slogans. Mine said “We can’t spell SUCCESS without ‘U’!” I immediately pointed out that we can’t spell “FAILURE” without U either. She was not amused.
For the last few months, I’ve been working for a computer game company. So far, I’ve got a cheap-ass baseball cap and sleeveless basketball jersey emblazoned with the name of a game so horribly bad, I’m not going to say it here lest it’s unbelievable poor quality taint my reputation. I also got a copy of our last release (came out the week I started; I didn’t actually work on it myself) that got a 15% in PC Gamer, whose reviewer said that the only good thing about it was that it came on one DVD, which made it easier to throw away.
Yeah… quality is really job #1 over here.
Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Last job? The company got bought out and we still had a closet full of promotional items with the old name, so we employees got to split it. T-shirts, aprons, floppy disk storage boxes, coffee and travel mugs, paperweights, notepads…
When I was in high school and worked for a NASCAR memorabilia shop I used to get tickets to the local race track free.
I spent many, many years as a programmer, (I still contract), and, because we were often called upon to work from home, my employer(s) supplied me with all my software, so long as it was whatever that particular company used. Usually Microsoft. I always had to buy my own computer though. They would also make sure I had the fastest modem available, and any time I had trouble with my PC, I could box it up and take it in to work and have the PC guys fix it. They also bought me industry-specific books, which can get pretty expensive. My last employer even paid for the second phone line into my house just for my computer.
I used to work for a major automotive manufacturer that shall remain nameless. We used to get “gifts” from suppliers all the time. One year I got Indy 500 tickets (paddock) which I enjoyed a great deal. The next year I was offered not only tickets, but also a garage pass. Ow! My ethics! I had to pass on that.
Among other things, I also got numerous day planners, Mag Lites, and other cheap stuff.
We were always buying and testing cars from competing companies. We would buy a car, put a few thousand miles on it, then take it apart to see what was up. So we always had free cars to drive (had to get those miles on somehow). In days past, I was told, instead of buying a car, we would rent one, completely disassemble and photograph it, then put it back together and return it. But I’m getting off the subject.
They also sent us to driving school where we got to tear the crap out of some test cars over a two-day period. The skid pad was the best - afterward, the tires all had flat spots, so the car went bumpety-bumpety-bump instead of rolling smoothly.
In my present job, I develop space launch vehicles with contractors. Since I work for the gubmint, I have to be careful about what I accept, but there are always the intangibles. I get to sit at a console during launches and say “Go!” (In fact, will be doing so on Tuesday.) I get to prowl around factories and launch pads all the time, places the general public can’t get to at any price. Once I drove a car to the end of the runway the Space Shuttle lands on, all by myself, just like that. I have held Columbia debris in my hands. You also can’t put a price tag on witnessing a 650,000-lb thrust rocket engine going off 200 yards from where you’re standing with nothing but a chain link fence between you and the exhaust. Ear plugs are recommended.
Yeah, I get the perks 
Discounts at Tele-Flora, Tiffany & Co., and other retailers that partner with my company (major NE tri-state mortgage/finance/insurance company). Also all sorts of doo-dads with the company logo, including boxer shorts and a throw blanket.
VCNJ~
Nothing except for a hipflask we all got given when we moved into new offices.
this year we were given long sleeve tee shirts, short sleeve tee shirts polo shirts and a winter parka.
i am also given a company van to drive, a company gas card, and the company buys my tools and pays for my cell phone.
Eternal Life.
(At least that’s what they told me the last time I didn’t get a raise.)
(I work at a church.)
From suppliers- things like pens, t-shirts, calendars, keychains, notebooks, mugs, etc. I did receive a nice leather ‘BYOB’ cooler/2 bottle wine tote from one vendor last year.
From work- corkscrews, foil cutters, coasters, and my personal favorite, bottles of wine. 
It’s pretty much a given we’ll receive 3 ‘holiday’ 6 packs of assorted varietals/brands from within the company. (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas. We just received our Christmas 6 pack on Friday.) But throughout the year my boss is handing out bottles, as often as once a month or more, and every now and then a few cases will be left in the break room for anyone that wants to give them a home. (People usually take 2-3 bottles each.)
They’ve given some other nice things, like backpacks, jackets, calendars, wine glasses, etc with the company logo.
There are other items I could order from our ‘swag site’, if you will, I just never think about it, or have much use for most of the items.
Not swag, but related to the industry, is a 30-35% discount on purchases in any wineries in the area. I’ve heard a few people say it, and it is definitely true, a (winery) business card is the currency of the wine country.
A 64 meg USB key. And I was only working there for the summer
I thought “swag” stood for “scientific wild-ass guess.”
I work for the gummint. I get nothing. I have to take annual ethics training to remind myself that I can’t accept anything substantial. But that’s fine. I don’t need any crap.
I work at a consignment shop, so officially, I get nothing but the discount. However, the woman who owns the shop is also a psychiatric nurse, so whenever the drug reps swing by her office, I wind up with some of the residual swag. I’m especially fond of my Zyprexa insulated mugs.
and I got coffee mugs from all the printers and typesetters we did business with.
Lots and lots of books.
Most of them are unsolicited, and I wouldn’t want them in the first place. But if I’m considering using a book for a course, the publisher will usually send me a free copy.
Since I teach English, this means that lots of non-textbook stuff is included: novels, plays, poetry.
So pretty much any work of literature or literary criticism.
Astronomy conferences are swagtastic. My favorite conference swag includes a combo ball point pen and laser pointer, a wee gold Delta IV Heavy lapel pin from Hyperelastic’s employer, and a yo-yo with a Ball (as in Aerospace) logo that lights up and makes laser noise when you use it.
I also get about a bajillion sample textbooks. I give everything exept to the latest edition of each to this guy who comes around collecting for poor schools in India, and occassionally fob them off on students who ask annoying questions.