What the hell is Triangle Man's problem, anyway?

I mean, think about it, here…

Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Triangle Man hates Particle Man.
When they fight, Triangle wins,
Triangle Man.

Now, obviously Triangle Man has a small anger management problem. But there’s more to this drama.

Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Triangle Man hates Person Man.
When they fight, Triangle wins,
Triangle Man.

So not only does Triangle Man have an irrational hatred for Particle Man, but also for Person Man. So far, out of four entities inhabiting Triangle Man’s world, he hates two of them.

But let’s examine this more closely. After all, an entity with such negative social habits more than likely has very little love for himself, as well. I suspect that if it were possible to fight himself, he would.

And I also suspect that if Universe Man (who, for such an obviously physical superior being, has a quite gentle disposition) were smaller, Triangle Man would allow himself to show his true feelings of rage toward him.

So what, exactly, is Triangle Man’s problem?

Someone keeps moving his chair.

He can’t find a rock to tie a string around.

You and your racist friend.

It’s all very symbolic. Triangle Man represents Christianity–a triangle has three sides, Christians believe in the Trinity–it’s a good match. Person Man represents humanism and Particle Man represents science. Universe Man is clearly God. So the song is all about how Christianity hates humanism and science and tries to conquer them while God’s just off doing his own thing.

For the humor-impaired: IT’S A JOKE!!!

Or he could be pissed because he has the least respected position in the band. After all, the trumpet and sax players get the glory, even the drummer is seen as a major component. But the guy who plays the triangle? He gets about as much respect as the guy who plays the cowbell.

He’s pissed because he didn’t get a better percussion position.

It’s a sad story, really. All Triangle Man ever wanted to do was go about whistling in the dark, whistling in the dark, whistling in the dark, but the Ugliness Men could not abide his singing like a girl. “Don’t let’s start,” he pleaded, but no, they continually objectified him, as if he were a girl. So, putting all reason aside he exchanged what he’d got for a thing that’s hypnotic and strange, but the spiralling shape made him go insane. He’d go out into the sun (a mass of incandescent gas), but would quickly flee back to his lucky ball and chain, twistin’ in pain as the summer brought him down. He eventually resorted to getting high off a statue in Istanbul (not Constantinople), but that didn’t work either. Eventually, Triangle Man gave in to his evil twin, bad weather friend, his inner Mr. Hyde, found a rock to wind a string around, and became the bastard that wants to hit, well, everyone.

pant pant whew.

I never quite understood the quantum answer (next to last post linked thread below) given in this linked thread about how a photon can transfer momentum or “pressure” if it has no a mass. The Wikipedia article repeats the pressure without mass assertion. Could someone help me out? What’s hitting what to make the “pressure” or transfer of momentum happen?

Are neutrinos unaffected by black holes?

From wikipedia

Oh for… Would a kindly mod please delete this above post

… and you’ll understand.

So, what does Triangle Man have against Photon Man?

I want to see what would happen if Triangle Man faced off with Lex Luthor’s “Nukular Man”. (from the godawful Superman IV).

I know the answer.

In the late-80’s, some of my college friends were big TMBG fans. (And through their gentle teaching, I became a fan a few years later.) They went to see Them at a concert in Portland, Oregon. This was back in the days when Their backup band was a tape machine. People would shout out requests (from one of the two CDs They’d released at that point), and They’d kinda shrug and say “it’s not next on the tape.” My friends were talking with one of the Johns after the show (I don’t remember which one, but from what I’ve heard of Their dispositions, probably Flansburgh) and asked him “why does particle man hate everybody?” The reply…

That’s just the kind of guy he is.

No no, it goes a long way to addressing the issue with Particle Man.

Because, y’see, Dr. Wily built them both at the same time, and never sent them after Mega Man, only Dr. Wily liked Triangle Man the least, fueling bitter robotic resentment…

I’ve got it.

He’s just pissed because youth culture killed his dog.

Maybe he just doesn’t feel s-e-x-x-y enough.

He’s got a small hypotenuse.

the really funny part about this is it makes sense, I never would have thought this song could possibly make sense joke or not.

Shhhh…that was supposed to be a secret…