I’m not sure table manners can be taught to an adult who is either unwilling or completely oblivious - I had it drummed into me as a child and I did the same with my kids*, but if someone has spent twenty or thirty years eating every meal see-food style, they’re just not likely to see your side of the argument.
*This caused regular arguments between me and the missus - she’d say me “don’t keep nagging them - they’ll learn eventually”. I’d say “they’ll only learn if someone is teaching them”
Any chance for a description? I can’t YouTube right now.
Just a dude complaining about his pet peeve of people smacking their lips/eating with an open mouth while eating, asking if people are stupid or unable to breathe through their noses, and saying that’s behavior for animals, not humans.
That’s one of those sounds that propels me straight into the stratosphere. I once dated a smacker. Early in the relationship, I’d have to say, “Um. Would you mind closing your mouth while you eat please?” About a week later, I’d moved on to, “You really have to close your mouth while you’re chewing. It’s disgusting to sit across from you at the table. I can’t look at you while I eat.” For the rest of the relationship, it was “Close your goddamned mouth! I was looking to see what the *dog *was eating and then I realized it was you! Jesus. WTF is wrong with you?”
So yeah, mouth smacking while eating is evidently a dealbreaker for me. 
One of my staff does this. I’ve stopped taking the team out to lunch because I just can’t stomach eating at the same table as her. If we go and pick up lunch somewhere to bring back to our desks I’ll treat, but no more eating at the same table. Gah!!!
My Mom smacks her lips while eating and occasionally specks of food fly out. Drives my brother crazy. I just try not to look at her during meals, or listen.
I did this once with my boyfriend because the chomp chomp smack slurping was driving me absolutely insane whenever we’d go out. You’d think I told him that I thought he was responsible for the Holocaust my his response. . .this did not go over well. In fact, he told me it’s perfectly normal for people to make noises when they eat (to this I say: no one expects a person to be stone silent when eating, but there’s a middle ground between that and SMACK SMACK CHUMP SLURP) and that I am just way too uptight and sensitive. People in Asia slurp and smack all the time! (To which I say: WE AREN’T IN FREAKING ASIA). Oh, he also told me it’s physically impossible to not slurp when eating (oddly, I somehow manage). I seriously thought we might break up, because that was literally the worst fight we’ve ever had.
But he eventually stopped being so defensive and has toned it down (something he had previously claimed was impossible). He still slurps more than any human being should, but at least it has eased up significantly. Hopefully he continues to improve shiver.
My youngest son does it, despite me telling him at almost literally every single meal of his life to close his mouth while eating. I’m telling him right now, in fact! It’s frustrating as hell- “I keep forgetting”, he says. How the hell do you forget how to eat properly? I know that if he does this as a grownup, people will think that his mother never taught him manners, so I hope he at least says a disclaimer every time, absolving me of any dereliction on my duties as a mother. I did teach him, he just refused to learn!
This is absolutely a dealbreaker for me, having grown up with one parent who isn’t a total rube, and one who smacks. I’ve heard it enough to know that the sound (like public nail-clipping or nail-filing) makes me *instantly *stabby.
Fortunately, a meal out is generally a first- or second-date activity, so I can find out early enough that I’m not yet “involved” by that point. If I were forced to be in a long-term relationship with a smacker, one of us would be dead within a year. It’s *THAT *bad.
Yeah, I don’t get it. It isn’t that difficult to keep your mouth closed when chewing.
I would not have thought this would be irritating…until, quite recently, I was at a meeting (as Secretary, I was taking the minutes) and someone was nail-filing. It made my job impossible! I could not focus past the sound!
It was as bad as… Geez! I can’t describe it! A car-alarm going off in the parking lot outside would have been less distracting!
Some people do chew with their mouth closed, but still make gross noises. Sort of wet, squishy mouth gulpy noises. Rawr.
My co-worker does this all day long, except it’s worse because he’s eating scabs, dandruff and bogeys.
I know that you, Mangetout, are the fearless gastronome, but I suspect even you have your limits.
One of my coworkers is a horrible smacker. And she insists on eating lunch at her desk almost every day instead of going to the cafeteria, so we all have to hear her eat. It’s really bad. She sits 2 desks away (we have open office concept in my department) and the girl that sat between us, who just quit, would IM me and ask “OMG do I make noises like that? too” So we all became paranoid for awhile until we reassured each other that no, she was the only one. But none of us have been able to TELL her, because we haven’t figured out a professional way yet.
I really don’t understand how you cannot hear yourself make noises like that. They are SO LOUD. Seriously. Everyone makes some food noises sometimes, but when every bite, every drink is SMACK SLURP how do you never notice?
Give me her email address, I’ll be a helpful mysterious stranger.
Ok, now I understand people being a bit hesitant to say something to someone doing a bit of smacking when eating lunch but please tell me you said something here. :eek: This is like a three year old who was never discouraged out of his nasty, totally inappropriate habits…
You’ve done a thread on this person before haven’t you? How did it turn out?
Close miking drives my wife and me NUTS. The speaker pauses; their mouth has dried slightly, and the next time they start to speak you hear their mucous membranes reluctantly separating with loud wet clicking sounds. We call them “mmyuck” noises.
And by the way, he’s hilarious.
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For years, Dan Rather did a radio opinion feature for CBS. At the end of every sentence – every singled damned sentence! – his lips closed with an audible click/pop. “Taxes have gone up. [click] Income has gone down. [click] In this small town in Indiana, how are the citizens coping? [click]”
GAAH! I used to switch the radio station rather than listen to him!