I’m sorry to say that it seems the SDMB (well, not all of us) has become a closed, snobbish little group that jumps down the throat of newcomers, hunts those who make little mistakes, and generally acts like highschoolers.
We scream at every newbie who fails to lurk and figure out the rules first. Yeah, that’s much better than explaining the rules to him. Most internet boards don’t expect members to spell correctly or use proper grammar. But we expect everyone to know that we want it, first time, no second chances. Did it ever occur to you that if we talked to these people, rather than yell at them, they might correct themselves instead of starting threads entitled “TimE to Piss Off ALl The MoroNs on THis Board”?
Sadly, this instant hatred of newcomers isn’t even limited to the board. More than a few times I’ve seen people booted from the chatroom for not immediately identifying themselves as board regs (my best friend was one of these) or for committing the grave error of doing an “a/s/l?” check. Cause it would be too hard to introduce these people to our way of doing things.
And that whole whiteho thing? We all know that his joke about Satan and Drain Bead breaking up was rather rude. But who needs three threads to tell the whole board what an insensitive jerk he was for ruining their little “don’t tell anyone” game? Sorry to ruin it for you, dears, but I knew there was something going on way before he spilled the beans. It was common knowledge in the chatroom. (That’s right, guess your “friends” didn’t keep the secret so well after all, huh?) And I had no idea that we weren’t supposed to tell. But did that stop almost the entire board from jumping down his throat? Of course not.
And, last but not least, this recent ado over Konrad’s tasteless pedophile joke. According to one poster, this crude jokester deserves punishment equal to that of an actual “baby-raper”:
Wow. Remind me never to make a tasteless joke in front of her. Nevermind that Konrad’s was not the first post to poke fun at the OP. He just had the bad luck to be the last before one of our dearly loved posters (not sarcasm, dear, I do appreciate your pain) shared a heartbreaking story from her childhood.
Now, I am not one to suggest that we drop our level of expectations for posters to this board (that’s what makes the SDMB better than places like Chatway), but come on, people! don’t you think you’re overreacting a little? This is supposed to be fun!
Now that I have set myself up, I am prepared to be knocked down. Just don’t start two more threads about how I should be hanged by my toenails and boiled in oil for my insolence and that misspelled word in the second line. (Made you look!)
Cessandra
It’s frightening how many crazies think that world is going to end in a few days. All of us smart people know that it’s not ending until next year.
Whoa! I am having major flashbacks to the AOL SDMB! I could try to explain the situation to Cess, but I am sure that there is another old-time R.E.G. who could do a much better job.
Uh Cess, I truely doubt that I am a “dearly loved” poster to anyone here,execpt maybe Lion.
There are people who I consider friends here. Are there people here who consider me a troll ? Oh yeah, without a doubt there are.
And there are people here who want to gouge their own eyes out when they see my posts
I said this in the other thread, I am saying it here, I take the subject very seriously,no matter where it comes up, there is no other way for me personally to take it. I am who I am, I don’t know any other way to be.
Ayesha - Lioness
There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)
Sarcasm and irony have their place, but Konrad’s post was simply too idiotic to qualify as either. And I further disagree with a subsequent post in that thread that one can find a basis for humor in anything.
I don’t jump new posters for grammar errors very often, if at all, unless my response is in a lighthearted vein. Hell, I’m pretty new myself.
AAahhh Cess how kind of you to notice…but it seems that we newbies learn quickly…I’ve been reading the board for about 6 weeks…started posting about three weeks ago…it’s easy to spot the ones that will “can” you when you post a difference of opinion toward another poster…I’ve posted on two different occasions to threads done by the same poster (not intentional…the topic caught my eye…not the author) and both times I’ve posted a difference of opinion…lo and behold…I get “canned” both times…not by the author of the topic…but evidently by someone who wants to “defend” the author against anyone who has a different opinion…and yes the author is female and the defender is male…go figure…at any rate…I enjoy this board…it’s fun to post here…I just know in the future to not post to that author’s threads unless my opinion is the same…or to just be prepared to ignore her defender…I think most of you guys are great…
A good point Cess… sometimes I do feel like I am back in high school. I tend to overlook the perfection of the post because I am far from perfect. I also welcome any newcomer here or to the chat coz this place can be a bit scary with all these intellectual people waiting for someone to make an error in grammar or judgement.
There are however some subjects and responses that are going to incite anger and intolerance and Konrad’s post happened to be one of them. I think that unless you have experienced this kind of thing personally, it is hard to understand why even a seemingly sarcastic jest can bring back memories best left forgotten.
I too, have been in the same situation as Ayesha and it took years of therapy for me to get past the anger and to not want to kill anyone ele too ignorant to know it is not a laughing matter. Something I learned every victim eventually needs to do before the healing begins.
I didn’t respond in the thread to Konrad because I knew it would do no good. The longer I am at this board, the more I realize that some people just post to incite anger and I really do like the policy they have here about “not feeding the trolls” Without sustenance… they will just fade away. At least that is my hope.
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
fuzzy-wuzzy: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand most of your post. What are you talking about?
PCW and others: I didn’t exactly love Konrad’s joke, either. It was rather crude and tasteless. I just think we overdid it a little. It’s one thing to tell him that he acted insensitively, and quite another to act the way many posters did. Makes them no better than he is.
Cessandra
It’s frightening how many crazies think that world is going to end in a few days. All of us smart people know that it’s not ending until next year.
Ok Cess…let’s see if I can make it clear. A person posted a topic…I posted a reply to that topic…out of the blue a totally different poster comes at me with rude crude remarks. This happened twice. Same person posted a topic…I posted a reply…and again…out of the blue this different poster comes at me again. Both times I posted a difference of opinion. It was not the author of the topic that was rude to me…but evidently the author has someone near and dear to their heart that doesn not want anyone disagreeing with this author. If this doesn’t clear it up…then you are more thoroughly confused…lol…at any rate…I’m learning…when, how, what, and who to post with.
Cessandra, thank you for showing that it isn’t just me that refuses to criticize every little mistake in grammar, or spelling, that people make.
You are correct in saying that sometimes this board seems like highschool… and since this board is also my escape from high school, it makes me want to yell until my lungs implode. People who criticize on spelling or grammar mistakes, flame you because you have another opinion, and those who are just stubborn enough to refuse to admit when they are wrong tend to be among these people.
If people were to remain just a little more civil, and leave childish antics to The Pit alone, this board could break being “Good” to being “Excellent”.
Wolf of Were, that’s it exactly! A certain poster on this board said some pretty nasty things about me because I thought that she had acted immaturely. But the thing is, I hang around immature, rude, annoying people all day. I expect more from Dopers. Since I respect and value you all so much, it’s truly disillusioning when one of you acts badly.
fuzzy-wuzzzy, I don’t know which threads you are alluding to, but I am very sorry that you have been treated badly. Were these threads maybe about very similar topics? Maybe the poster that you are having a problem with really just disagrees with you on this one topic.
Cessandra
It’s frightening how many crazies think that world is going to end in a few days. All of us smart people know that it’s not ending until next year.
Yes, this place is like high school sometimes. And so is the chatroom. And so is real life. shrug No, I don’t think people should be flamed to within an inch of their life when they first get on the board. But lurking does have its advantages, especially if you want to post something in…GD, for example. And honestly…since all we HAVE here are words, getting your message across as best you can, and as CLEARLY as you can, is important. There’s no “just kidding” tag in UBB. (Though, I swear we could use one on here…)
And PCW is right…some people are just going to incite anger. And sometimes you’re going to just catch one of us on a bad day. (Witness my last response to Omni on what was in my purse…and I like him. Lord KNOWS what I would have said if I didn’t.)
So…yes, I see the point in the OP, but I guess I’ve learned to live with it. It’s like the real world…if you don’t know what you’re getting into, you’ll get criticized for it.
“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.
And one last thing that I thought deserved to be in a separate post. Cess, the person you just referred to flamed you because you called her (and others) immature without knowing what the hell had been going on behind the scenes. And IIRC, all she did was inform you of what we HAD been doing, and how we HAD been supportive. Therefore, I don’t think that case really helps your point.
“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.
I am relatively new to this board. I have posted in a number of threads on a number of different topics. Many of those posts have disagreed with positions taken by other posters (isn’t that the point? How many “me too” posts does anyone really need to read?) I do not recall ever being attacked or suffering personal insults because of those posts.
In the few situations (two that come to mind) where I have found myself in a personal conflict with another poster, it was because I took offense at someone else’s post and chose to voice my opinion strongly. But if someone had chosen to flame me first, so what? I have exactly the same opportunity and resources with which to reply. That is the beauty of a message board. In its purest form, this is a place to exchange ideas. The world is large – some of the ideas are bound to be unpleasant to someone. Are some of the conflict jeuvenile? Absolutely. The Satan/Drain Bead/Whiteho situation is a classic example of the same. OTOH, if someone makes a remark that offends my particular sensibilities you can bet I am going to make my feelings known. If someone else decides my outrage is misplaced, I fully expect them to call me on it.
What is wrong with that? Have we al become so thin-skinned that we need to protect people from the possibility that they might choose to read something which could conceivably hurt their feelings? If someon acts like an asshole, tell them they’re an asshole. If no one ever acts like an asshole, the value of this board as a marketplace of ideas will quickly drop to zero.
The best lack all conviction
The worst are full of passionate intensity.
*
Hey Spiritus Mundi you uncle-fucking horse-shit eating piece of cretinous jello! I agree with you! Kind of.
I’m not saying that we should lose the disagreements, or even the flames. Just the overboard bandwagon beat-up-on-the-new-and/or-somewhat-disliked guy mentality. The kind where some newbie posts as though he’s on any other message board on the net and we get fifty posts that are merely variations on how he should be tortured and killed.
(jk)