What the hell kind of idiot...

The BBQ Pit
21

And would like to point out not all gardeners have access to the Harry Potter Crystal Ball, so that they’ll know in May how their garden is going to look in September. Even the Macon County Master Gardeners get blindsided some years by global warming and Japanese beetles and whatnot, and the various commemorative rose, peony, lilac, etc. gardens don’t look as good as they’re supposed to on the desired date. So all the Macon County Master Gardeners can do is give an estimated date, and say, “Hold your reception in the Scovill Rose Garden on June 15th”, but if the weather doesn’t cooperate, the display won’t, either.

So just because she told you in May that September would be the best time for you to come take its picture doesn’t mean she’s an idiotic bitch–it just means that normally September would be the best time for you to come take its picture. It’s not her fault the weather didn’t cooperate this year.

And, I might add, September is normally when most gardens look their best, because by that time the crabgrass and other annual weeds have shot their wad, you’ve caught up to them, and there are a number of splashy late perennials like asters that are eminently photogenic, and if that’s what she’s got in her garden, then yeah, “September” is when I’d tell you to show up, too.

22

twickster: you should come see my gf’s gardens! She is in advertising. A lawn tractor ad was recently shot at her place (for television/web use). Even though only her lawn would be seen, I spent days helping her “primp” her entire place. It looked great, but was overkill.

Maybe you could use the pictures you took for another article: “Common Gardening Errors” or something. :wink:

23

That’s not what the OP says is going on here.

“Low maintenance” means that you don’t obsessively dead-head flowers. I’d expect to see seeding heads in a picture of a “low maintenance” garden.

Can you post the reference pics so we can look at them?

24

Since this is the pit and we are talking about weeds and gardens. what the HELL does it take to kill those nasty hateful wild onions? I have sprayed Round Up three times on the fuckers, pulled until my hands stink badly enough I want to chop them off, and STILL the onions return.

My house is on the market and those onions make my pretty mums look like I could be the person photographed for twickster’s mag.

edited to add OK my mum bed doesn’t look as bad as those pictures. But still.

25

You be the judge.

26

It has a certain rustic look which I think would be appropriate for some gardens. A weed is just a plant that you don’t like. Some people think Gerber Daisies are weeds, for example. I think they’re quite beautiful.

27

Yes, I am aware of that, because I am actually a gardener, and not just some asshole sitting in an office somewhere. (Frankly, my garden looks way worse than hers – but I’m not letting people photograph it.)

Going to seed is fine – but the annuals going to seed are not going to make for more attractive photography than those plants in full bloom (that spoonerized on first try).

28

Yikes. My back yard at my last house looked better than that, and the only maintenance we ever did was setting fire to things in it. Is there anything you can do? Spike the article? Write it up as a parody, maybe?

29

Wild onions? I feel your pain.

You just gotta keep digging them up. Eventually they’ll go away.

Or you can shade them out with a weed like Bouncing Bet, which is what happened in my garden.

Don’t ask. :smiley:

K, I looked at your pics. Is that all you’ve got, for your article? Those four pics? Or are those just the most egregious examples of “weeds”?

If that’s all you’ve got for your article, then you’re basically fucked, my friend.

Those are pics of a terrible garden. Obviously you’ve got hold of someone who thinks “low maintenance” means “weeding rarely in a normal garden”.

“Low maintenance” really means “setting up your garden, with certain plants and with a certain design, so you don’t have to weed as often as you would otherwise.”

I feel your pain. Can you feature a sidebar of some kind, with a disclaimer? Maybe a Learned Opinion from a garden expert, tactfully explaining that what you see here isn’t really what we mean by a “Low Maintenance” Garden? Or can you refuse to run the pics? Or photoshop them? I’m not familiar with the journalistic ethics in this field, but if ever a situation called for the end justifying the means, this is it. Call it a Holy War and let the philosophers sort it out. :smiley:

ETA: And IMO you really can’t feature them “as is”, if that’s all you’ve got, because part of your journalistic mandate is to educate, and if you let it go out to 100K readers like that, they’re ALL going to learn that “low maintenance” means you don’t have go weed in the back of the yard where the banana plant is but once a semester.

ETA: But you probably know that. Being that you run a garden magazine and all that. :smiley:

30

DDG – no, I’ve actually got about 150 of pix – these are chosen semi-randomly to prove that, no, I can’t do a profile of this garden. There are a few close-ups of individual plants that are fine, and one bed that doesn’t look like shit – but overall, no, this isn’t the garden I was expecting to see.

What we’ll do – she’s out as a profilee, I’ll do a different person from that state (and thus have to rejigger the sked for the second half of next year, since this was supposed to be for the June issue and we won’t be able to get the other person’s garden photographed till May, probably). We may be able to use some of the shots/info for other uses at some point – but basically the X amount of money we spent getting these pictures taken would have been more usefully spent shredded and put directly on the compost pile.

And this is why I’m seriously pissed off this morning.

31

why did the idiot photog wait until the annuals went to seed? Was he hoping to get a picture of flowers?

i see a wide variety of plants in that shot, but nothing blooming at the moment. The grass is a little long on the edges and leaves have blown in.
I tend to let my garden get raggedy I leave theseed heads alone, to feed the birds. If its not a noxious but native I let it stay, my garden is messy but natural. us wild things love it!

All it really needs is a few blooming big mums!

32

Ok, that’s not a garden, that’s a fucking disaster area. For Og’s sake, she didn’t even rake.

33

The photographer went when she was told to go; the date was chosen by the gardener.

34

Woah! That’s a big garden. I want a big garden.
Give me your garden

35

That isn’t a "low maintainence’ garden, that is a “I’m too lazy to take care of my garden so I’m going to call it a low maintainence garden”.

I feel your pain. I only write a lowly newletter, and it is like pulling teeth to get people to write what they say they will write and get it to me in a timely manner. If you don’t have time, that’s fine - just don’t tell me you’ll do it!

36

How many pictures in all do you require to run with the article? If there are even a few shots that are halfway decent, can’t you just use those and then not have to rejigger your entire schedule for next year? Nobody’s expecting a “picture perfect” garden with an article on “Low Maintenance”, so maybe if it just “doesn’t look like shit”, it might be acceptable.

37

I assume this individual will be assigned different duties in the future?

Hell, I consider my gardens low maintenance, on their worst days they look at least 20X better than those shots, and I’ve never thought they looked good enough to submit to any competitions/publications.

38

[total and shameless hijack]One of the most beautiful gardens I’ve ever strolled through was full of roses, fruit trees…and 10 foot tall pot plants interspersed every 30 feet or so. Mrs. WeHaveCookies wouldn’t know a pot plant from a petunia, and I got a good chuckle at her reaction to hearing what else had been in the garden while driving home.[/tsh]

39

::fap fap fap fap fap::

40

What is ::fap:: ?

Wouldn’t it be hilarious, though, to open up a landscaping/gardening magazine and see something like that off in the background, unnoticed? :slight_smile:

ETA: Never mind. I gotcha on the ::faps:: :cool: