Okay, so it’s a nice Saturday afternoon. I just moved to Cleveland. I just got my first pay check. It’s time to open a checking account.
So, I go to the nearest bank, a Dollar Bank located next to Ruchmond Mall. Sit down with the bank manager, give him my check, and give him my ID, a Florida driver’s license.
“I’m sorry, but subject to the United States Patriot Act, I can’t give you a checking account.”
What? Why not?
“You have out-of-state identification. Anyone with out-of-state identification who tries to open a bank account is profiled as a possible terrorist.”
Wait a minute? I’ve got business cards that identify my position as a higher-up in a local givernment agency. Utility bills with my name and address on them. A paycheck from LAKE COUNTY, OHIO. I’ve got blue eyes, and my name isn’t Achmed Muhammed Deathtoamericallahakba – and – I’m a terrorist?
“Possibly.”
Fuck this. Fuck Bush, fuck Ashcroft, fuck them all.
I’m tired of these idiot safety measures that will do nothing or almost nothing to prevent terrorism but make life a pain in the nuts for normal people. My last trip I had a knife-less keychain tool confiscated, because it had a short screwdriver on it. WTF was I going to do, punch it into someone’s throat? If I wanted to do that, I’d use the pen that was in the same bag, which would have worked much better, but was apparently OK to bring on a plane!
Huh? I thought the new regulations just said you had to provide identification of some sort. I don’t recall reading anything about that identification having to be from in-state. My bank sent out all sorts of information about the policy change, and nowhere did it mention differences between the validity of in-state and out-of-state ID.
If we don’t have idiotic, ludicrous, and for-show safety measures, the terrorists have won! If we’re not strip-searching little old ladies, the terrorists have won! Why do you hate America so much?
elmwood, are there any other banks you can try? I can see no reason to use the first bank at all if they’re willfully misinterpreting the Patriot Act. (Of course, if you try a second bank and it says the same thing…)
Like Gyan9 I don’t see what being blue eyed and non-Arabic in name has to do with anything. There’s no reason why terrorist must equal Arab, nor is there any reason why an Islamic terror cell couldn’t (and wouldn’t) use a sympathetic white front person to handle business transactions for them to keep suspicion to a minimum. Being white, or black, or Hispanic (hello, Jose Padilla!) or Chinese doesn’t mean that one isn’t involved with a terror network.
The bank was, however, apparently overinterpreting the requirements of the Patriot Act. Though, by (your reported) phrasing the objection “Anyone with out-of-state identification who tries to open a bank account is profiled as a possible terrorist.” it could be that the bank officer wasn’t saying that he couldn’t open the account for you as much as he wouldn’t open the account because it would bring down a problem for both you and the bank that wasn’t worth the hassle since ir was far more than likely that you weren’t someone who needed to caught up in the nets of the domestic front of the War on Terrah.
In any case, you’re going to have to get an Ohio DL sooner rather than later, it is the law once you’ve made legal residence there, so go get your DL and then get your bank account. It’ll help you avoid the problem altogether.
Wehn the government implements something like the "Patriot Act, I & II, this is what you get; a lot of people enforcing rules they may or may not know or interpreting them in ways that cause a lot of grief (Not to mention all the civil rights violations that will be committed and overlooked because of the “spirit” of the act. If this is the worst that you suffer from this “law” I would think you are fortunate.
As a side note; it is a shame that a blue eyed white guy (Of which I am one) can’t catch a break anymore.
I helped work on the implementation of the Patriot Act “know your customer” regulations for my company. adam yax’s cite is entirely correct. Dollar Bank is either greatly over-interpreting the regulations out of a conservative risk management dogma, or the branch manager is a poorly-trained dork. Either way, I’d go to another bank. After all, even if you did manage to open an account there, what do you think the customer service is going to be like down the road?
Way before 9/11, I moved from Indiana to Columbus Ohio, and went into a FirstStar bank to open a checking account. They refused to open a checking account for me because of their corporate policy against opening accounts for people with out of state licenses (and to supposedly prevent fraud).
I just drove further down the road and opened an account at Huntington. They took my out of state drivers license with no problem and I have banked with them ever since.
Sounds to me that Dollar Bank has a similar policy, and that the Patriot Act is just a way for them to say, “Hey it isn’t our stupid corporate policy, blame the government and blame the terrorists”.
FirstStar was taken over by US Bank recently, not sure if the policy changed as a result.
Of course, you are entirely correct. That being said, I disagree. Not all terrorists are Arab (or anything else), see Tim McVeigh etc. What’s at issue here is basically “profiling”. I have two opinions on this:
1- It’s unAmerican.
2- It’s more likely to be effective.
The issue is common, freedom vs safety. In this case, I’m in agreement with your conclusions but for different reasons. I’m willing to trade some of my safety for greater freedom. But I can understand why others would feel differently (see ElAl’s boarding procedures sometime).
Quick anecdote - In the early 90’s I went to the airport to pick up my parents. Set off the metal detector after emptying my pockets (forgot I was wearing steel-toes). Security supervisor, after determining the problem with the wand, looked through the contents of my pockets and found a knife. His response: “It’s OK, it’s only a box-cutter”.
this happened in england on a flight to america: and 87 year old woman had a pair of nail clippers conviscated
87 YEARS OLD
NAIL CLIPPERS
ok if it was a knife i could understand on the grounds a terrorist could steal it off her and use it but NAIL CLIPPERS
