Do be careful. My typical “dating” status is “not dating, by choice.” I may find it lonely from time to time, but there are a LOT of compensations. Cookie dough ice cream and tears are not on that list. Doubtless generalisations can prove dangerous to those uttering them.
As for what type of statements cause me to lose respect for the person I am speaking to, I have always believed that both respect and contempt are earned.
If the speaker is racking up points in the contempt column, they are often declaiming foolishness such as:
intolerance of disability, race, religion, gender, lifestyle, etc
bad bad grammar
“my opinion is better than your opinion”
status-chasing “What a loser, look at your car” as mentioned; or “he’s so cool, he drives the Penis 500 LE!! That thing costs $xxx,xxx.”
Um, if you say, “How about sushi on Friday?” And I say, “Okay,” I’m going to show up at our regular sushi bar at our regular time. I don’t care if you suggested it WAY BACK on Monday, I’m going to pencil you in on my mental calendar, turn down other offers, and show up. If you don’t, it’s rude and will cause a lack of respect. Respect my time, and I will respect yours.
“I can’t help it. This is just the way I am.” (especially when coming from one of my teenage students) Well, guess what, sugar, people change, and it’s time you look into it.
“I’m not trying to be rude. I’m just being honest.” You’re still being rude, you twit.
Watch out, shrew. A friend and I have this same arguement all the time.
If I suggest seeing a movie, say, and I tell her I’ll call her on Friday, to her, these plans are concrete. Even if we never decided on a time, a movie, or anything. So, if I call her Friday, and say I can’t make it, she gets pissy because she assumes that, when you mention plans, they’re solidified.
People who make a serious mistake or do something really nasty, and then offer an excuse that is very flimsey or extremely convoluted or even worse, immediately say “Well, you do it too,” even if it’s something I have never done and wouldn’t do if you put a gun to my head.
If those plans weren’t concrete, then why did you bother to call her to say you couldn’t make it? If there were no commitment, why call? Do you see that she has arranged her whole Friday night around spending time with you, and you’ve destroyed her evening?
Do you understand that if your logic worked, you would never get to see your friend because since your plans with her were never solidified, she would accept any other offer over yours since you can’t be depended upon? You’re using her as your “in case of emergency” plans. Just in case you don’t find something better to do, you’ll go out with her. That’s weak.
Another example: Thanksgiving before last, an ex called me from California and said he wanted to bring his new fiance home for Christmas, and would I plan a New Year’s Eve party to introduce her to our friends? I said yes. I planned the party. Christmas comes, no phone call. New Year’s Eve party comes, no friend and fiance. I call his parents’ house and ask if he’s there. (In order for this story to make sense you should know his parents think I caused his first divorce, so I don’t call his parents’ house without good reason, nor does he call mine.) He gets on the phone, I calmly ask why he isn’t at the party, and he says, “What? Did you actually plan a party? We never concreted those plans!”
Weak.
I’m sure I haven’t convinced you, but rest assured if you and I met and you exhibited said behavior, I would indeed lose respect for you because of your lack of respect for others.
Ooh yes. I had a complete stranger come up to me in a club once, apparently for the express purpose of informing me that I dance badly. (Like I didn’t already know.) What a twit.
“Of course we had to go to war with Iraq! Didn’t all the September 11th hijackers come from there?” is right up there, too.
“Un-scath-t” and “marine corpse” right up there. And Parthinians instead of Parthians, even when I tell you it’s the Parthians and they never had a “Parthinan Empire” anyways!
People who use “smart” words to appear intelligent and refined, but apparently they don’t know any other words to use, so they just keep using that one. People like that just piss me off.
“Hey kids, using ‘continuity’ and ‘transverse’ every couple of sentences adds spice to your statements and makes people want to listen to you!”
I hear you on that one, Colinmarshall. Relatedly, a friend of mine says ‘plus’ instead of ‘add:’ “so you take 72 and plus it by 79…” cringe/spasm/twitch
For me, “five times two is ten” is okay. “Take five and times it by two and you get ten” is not. Same idea with “2 plus 2 is 4” vs “2 and plus it by 6 is 8.”
I’m not going to lose that much respect for them, it’s more of a pet peeve kind of thing. (Hee, “king of thing.” Yeah.)
On the other hand, “five multiplied by two is ten” doesn’t sound quite right.
I have to agree with Shirley Ujest on a couple of points there. Overt political correctness bugs the hell out of me. I’m not “vertically challenged”, I’m short.
I’m not “fiscally challenged”, my job just doesn’t pay well. It’s almost like people who say those things are making excuses for others.
Also, the name thing annoys me too. I work with a woman whose son is called “Keaton”. My SO’s nephew is called Harrison. I just don’t get it. There must be something in the water.
I loved this list until I got to history revisionists. I think I know what you are saying. I am furious when people try to deny well-documented historical fact. But when legend has taken the status of historical fact, that misinformation needs to be corrected in textbooks. Or if the discovery of old documents sheds new light on an historical event, then revisions are in order. Do you agree?
People asking me [6’2"] if I play basketball, or what’s the weather like up there, or any other “humerous” remark about my height …
I used to be friends with a woman I’ll refer to as B, I lost what respect for her I may have had due to the following: B used to [convieniently] have the total opposite viewpoint to every opinion I had, and made a point of arguing furiously if I dared voice an opinion (her opinion would suddenly do a 180 if someone else shared my opinion). B went around town and told anyone she could that another friend of mine (I’ll call her V) had stolen €500 from her place of work (she hadn’t) and she told a guy who alledgedly hated V that V had told everyone they’d had sex (V did not say this about the guy at all) B did these things because she hated “that fat cow”, which struck me as odd given B was a good bit fatter than V …