-
The earliest citation for “gay” meaning “homosexual” is from the 60s, not the 30s.
-
sounds like Rubystreak knows exactly what it means… it means people are trying to insult people or things by calling them homosexual.
(i meant, of course, “the 30s, not the 60s”).
People who don’t want to tell you something, and then they think it’s funny and original to quote the “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you” line from Top Gun.
But why would she sit waiting by the phone if your plans weren’t definite?
See, in my world, this is completely unacceptable. Saying, “I can’t make it. I’m going [here] with [person]” is the same as saying, “I can’t make it. I found someone else I’d rather hang out with than you.” The only instance in which this is allowed is if the replacement-person is a date/romantic interest, someone they don’t see very often, or family. I will admit, however, that a friend and I had an argument about this just last week when she bailed on our Halloween plans to see her boyfriend. I considered it karmic retribution when he had to bail on their plans because his kids called. She spent Halloween alone, which was the direct result of her choices. I’m sure I’m coming off as sounding incredibly bitchy and high-maintenance. I assure you I’m not. I’m quite laidback and non-confrontational. I simply believe in treating my friends with respect. You’re obviously a great fella, but we see respect in two different lights.
My apologies. That was presumptuous of me and totally uncalled for.
But shouldn’t your word be worth more than that? Yes, I realize you haven’t SWORN to get together on Friday, but should it take an oath for your words to mean something? Let me give you an example: if I tell one of my students, “Sure, I’ll come to your game this Friday” and then fail to show? That student will ALWAYS remember that. I would never live it down. If I am to truly be a good person (which rather boringly is my goal), then I should model the same behavior outside of my position of “role model” as I do while in my position of “role model”.
The only way I will agree with you on this one is if you tell me you called her and left her a message saying, “Hey, since I haven’t heard from you, I’m making other plans.” Yes, she should have called when she said she would, but that put the ball of courtesy in your court.
I think both of us have the best of intentions, to be courteous and considerate of our friends, but we go about it in different ways.
I hate to disagree with you, Matt, 'cause I like you so much, but I have to say that the two definitions seem to have diverged at some point.
Initially, calling something “gay” as a derogatory slur may have started under the guise of calling it “homosexual”, but I truly think the word has shifted in meaning. To give you a relevant example, the other day I was teaching my students about Hephaestus, the god of fire, who was lame. The kids said, “What was lame about him?” I said, “Well, remember that in this instance lame means crippled.” And at that they looked at me with utter disbelief and said, “Lame means crippled???”
While “gay” hasn’t made quite the full circle, I’m afraid it’s well on its way. I hate to admit it, but even I’ve used the word “gay” once or twice to say something was stupid, and I’ve been marching in the Gay Pride parade since I was 18. The word simply has many different connotations now.
Because that’s the kind of person she is.
**
You don’t sound that way to me. You sound like you’d be the sort of person I could hang around with and debate things ad nauseum.
**
As do I. We should just agree to disagree on this.
**
**
I suppose that this would be the wrong time to ask, “how YOU doin’?”
**
[quote]
My apologies. That was presumptuous of me and totally uncalled for.**
[quote]
Accepted.
**
My word IS worth more than that. However, if nothing has been solidified, then my word was not given.
The difference in your example is that you know full well what time said game starts. If something has a start time, then that’s a way of solidifying things. If, for instance, I said, “let’s go see a movie at [theater] at [time],” then, yes, THOSE are concrete plans. Nothing else is, IMHO.
**
I’ll agree with this statement.
So I’m supposed to put up with the name of my community being used to mean bad and stupid? That’s so black.
I hate to tell you, but the word “ghetto” has almost the same meaning.
I’m not saying you should approve. I just hate for you to get worked up or offended over something not meant to offend. Last year, while I was in England, I was initially hugely offended by my students’ use of the word “twat” to mean “idiot” or “jerk”. Eventually, I realized they didn’t even know what it meant. Sometimes the offense is in the ears of the offended.
And since you know this, you go out of your way to accommodate her idiosyncrasy? Of course you do, which is what makes you a considerate friend.
Done.
Right as rain. And yourself?
Well, its not something that someone says… its something someone does.
TYPE IN ALL CAPS!
Omg I hate it when people do that… jesus would people learn that its like yelling IRL!
Or when people sign off without saying bye. To me, thats like turning around and walking away from someone without saying “Hey, I gotta get goin, I’ll ttyl”
Any better, and I’d be two people.
Thanks for the kind words, shrew. I’m glad you see my perspective, even if you don’t agree with it.
No one seriously goes around calling themselves “ghetto”, though.
People do self-identify as gay.
So if I go up to said person and remark that something stupid is “so gay”, I wouldn’t expect that person to be alright about it. It would be exactly like what matt_mcl said about something being “black”.
Find another word until people stop calling themselves gay. Why is that so hard to do?
I mean, look at it this way. Nobody seriously argues that when you say, “to jew down the price,” it’s not an insulting reference to Jews, even though I’m sure that a lot of people who used the expression (mercifully, it’s old fashioned now) didn’t have a mean thought in their heads about Jewish people.
Monstro, you haven’t been in the ghetto lately, have you? I have. I teach in it everyday, and being “ghetto” is most certainly a point of pride.
Matt, I understand your point. I just hate for you to see it as a personal attack. My dad still refers to Brazilian walnuts as “niggatoes”, but I’ve seen him say it in front of black people without the tiniest notion he has said anything offensive. He doesn’t even know what he’s saying. Words shift in meaning. That’s all I’m trying to say.
shrew: In the school where I work, “ghetto” means something of low quality, cheap, or trashy. It’s not a compliment; see how unreliable these colloquialisms are? That’s why it’s not so easy to just accept these new meanings at face value.
Yes, words shift meaning, but as a teacher, I cannot accept the use of the word “gay” to mean “sucky” in my classroom. It’s supposed to be a safe place for everyone; no matter how stridently anyone contends that when they say “gay” as an insult it’s not an insult to homosexuals, it is still a homophobic epithet IMO, and most every gay person I know agrees. That’s enough for me; I’d hate a student of mine to feel bad about himself because someone used that word.
The word “nigga” has changed meaning too; calling someone “my nigga” is now a compliment. That is a radical change in definition taking place in the vernacular; are you suggesting that I should allow that word to be thrown around in my classroom? Nah, didn’t think so. Why? It’s still a button word and can easily be misused or misinterpreted. Same goes for “gay”; it’s still too closely tied with its original meaning to have the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval for polite or formal settings.
Just because a word has changed meaning in the vernacular does NOT mean that we all just have to accept it either. I refuse to go along with this word being used this way just because all the cool kids are saying it. Not a good enough reason and a disingenuous one to boot.
I guess the controversial use of these colloquialisms makes me lose respect…
They’re not trying to piss you off by saying “axe”; it’s probably not intentional. A lot of people either can’t pronounce that sound, or that’s just how it was said around them when they were growing up, and they really had no choice in the matter; to me, getting annoyed at someone for pronouncing “ask” as “ax” is like getting annoyed at a nonnative English speaker who mispronounces a word because they have been pronouncing certain letters different ways their entire lives in another language. It’s not intentional, it’s just how their neural pathways or whatnot established themselves when they were young based on their environment. I doubt anybody really chooses to say “ax” or mispronounce certain words.
That said, there are a couple of words that just really eat at me when native English speakers (ie, people with no good excuse) use them or use them incorrectly. ‘Irregardless’ is a good example. If you think about it for half a second, you’ll realize it’s a nonsensical “word”: you’re trying to say “with no regard”, for which “regardless” works fine. “Irregardless” would mean the opposite of “with no regard”, if you apply real English grammar rules to it. I guess this isn’t intentional either, but if you apply any thought to it there’s no way it can make sense. Just break it down, people. Anyway, I don’t really lose any respect for someone because they say “irregardless” or whatnot, it’s just a bit annoying.
Same goes for mispronouncing my name, BTW. I have a name that is fairly common for American males (of which I am one), and use the standard spelling and pronunciation. A lot of people who should know better mangle the spelling and/or pronunciation of my name anyway, dropping a vowel or changing a letter or whatnot. There is also a homonym of my name, which is a name that is (in America anyway) only given to females. Without exception. But people refer to me by the female version anyway, even though I am quite clearly male. How difficult is it? I’ve never heard of a guy with the female version, but a lot of people assume I have the female version anyway. My mom struggles with a similar problem–her name has a homonym that is given only to males without exception, and she uses the standard female spelling for her name, but people use the male name anyway or come up with “creative” spelling and pronunciation.
Agh.
Okay, fetus, you have completely comfused me. Granted, it’s 3am, and I’m not on my game right now. What’s your first name? If you don’t mind me asking, of course.
And, regarding the “irregardless” usage, it bothers me, too. As a solution, I tend to say “irrespective.”
Oh, and someone who adds an extra letter to ANY word automatically gets the “nimrod” label in my book. For instance, anyone who pronounces it as “warsh.”
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Kristi *
**"Why aren’t you married? "
How exactly am I supposed to respond to that? Because I am unattractive to men? Because it’s too much fun sleeping with my friend’s husbands? Because I forgot?
I think the best response ever given to this question appeared in Bridget Jones’ Diary:
“Because, underneath my clothes, ny entire body is covered with scales.”
After being on hold for 45 minutes, then someone finally answering, “Sorry, the person you need to talk to left 10 minutes ago.” This happened at my bank, and the reason I was calling was they bounced someone else’s check in my account.
Look at the location under my name and ask me that question again, shrew.
No one SERIOUSLY goes around calling themselves “ghetto”. Silly children do not count.
To emphasize this, go up to one of your students’ parents and call them ghetto. If you think the reaction will be positive, you are truly naive.