What threads do you want to contribute to, but can't?

I’m rather new to this whole thing, and I see a hell of a whole lot of threads that I wish I could add something to, but can’t. Usually for the reason that they don’t apply to me. But I love reading them and think you guys are wonderfully brilliant and funny.

One that I wish I could add to is the naughty-sounding office jargon thread. I work in a boringass library and all of our jargon is, well, boringass. We say things like supertruck, scan the books, take the elevator, is it on hold, etc, etc.

And I think I’m also surprised by the number of parents on here sharing stories about their kids and pregnancies and things. Those are always funny. Umm but my favorite are in the Pit. I love the way a person’s lividity can evoke hysteria from so many others. :slight_smile: Good times good times. And the subject lines are so hilarious! Like the please empty the entire two liter bottle of mayonnaise onto my sandwich thread. It’s just so funny because I’ve never seen a two liter bottle of mayonnaise, but it would be funny ummmm to see some guy with a fast food hat on completely dousing a hambooger with mayonnaise. Ugh I’m always so off topic.

I would love to be able to participate in the Great Debates threads. Unfortuately, I am dumb as a rock.

Same goes for the Pit Threads. I am just unable to come up with new and creative insults.

Well in the “Does Big Bang mean God doesn’t exist” GD thread, I was very tempted to post
Only if she was standing to close at the time.

But the thread was staying very true to its GD origin, so I resisted.

Qazzz does the word ubiquitous mean anything to you? Have you ever been described as such? Handy may be very ubiquitous, but you seem to write quite ubiquitously :wink:

I say post to whatever you want, instead of telling us you want to post there…just post there.

Computer related threads. I work in IT for a living, but I just don’t feel comfortable giving people technical advice when I haven’t looked at the problem first. Case in point, my husband called me the other day asking for help with a bunch of State Dept. SQL server databases whose transaction logs had exploded in size. I had to tell him how to fix them, and the whole time I was thinking that if he didn’t tell me everything and I gave him the wrong solution, or did what I told him to do wrong that the gov’ment was probably going to be all over my ass. And don’t ask why the government has my husband, who works with stuff like NetIQ, doing DBA work. Let’s not go there…

In the “Spit or Swallow” thread I wanted to post “It depends, are you talking an African swallow or an European swallow?” but after ten pages of reading to see if it had been done already, I gave up.

ask the multi-millionare
ask the dictator of a small island country
ask the Playgirl centerfold

you get the idea

I refuse to post in the sex or TMI threads with my own personal experiences. I just know that the moment I do that, someone I know will find the board, click the relevent thread, recognize the circumstances (or worse, be involved in the circumstances) and thereby figure out it’s me. That would just suck.

I’d also like to write in GD but I too am a plebe in comparison to the debates in there. I have used what I learn in there on lesser boards, though.

my lol post of the day :smiley:

most times i should not post to a thread but do so anyway, what the heck.

Qazzz, I want to contribute to this thread, but I can’t because there are no threads on the SDMB that I want to contribute to but can’t.

Oh, wait … that means …

:: Spiff’s head explodes ::

:::cleans Spiff’s brain guts off of my nice new shirt:::

I would like to post inflammatory opinions in GD (ooh, wait, done that)

I would like to post non sequiters in GQ (ooh, wait, done that)

I would like to post pithy meaningfull things in MPSIMS (why?)

I would like to have something to say about any Star Trek subject, but i can’t ever think of anything to say. (delusional behavior)

I would like to insult someone for no reason whatsoever in the Pit (oh, wait…)

So, umm how was your threesome?

Actually I did reply to that thread but not in the way I wanted.

I once wanted to post to a thread about some bizarre sexual behavior. I wanted to say “Yes, I have participated in said bizarre sexual behavior, so I have a serious opinion about that.” But I didn’t post, because I didn’t want anyone to know that I was a goat felcher.

D’oh, I’ve said too much!

Usually, for me, it’s a thread where I know the answers, but there’s already 27 replies. With that many, surely somebody else gave the correct answer, so I don’t even open the thread.

Sometimes I struggle to keep from posting “Shut up already - you’ve said this a bajillion times!!!” or “Why are you wasting a thread on this??” So I just scream it in my head, pretend to write a scathing OP about whatever it is that’s bugging me, then I take a deep breath and move on. I remind myself that we all have different interests and that there may be one or two souls who find my posts tedious (yeah, right…)

I also avoid the TMI threads - some things I just don’t want to know and most definitely don’t want to share. I’m grateful for the TMI in the title.

It’s rough being a crabby old lady, ya know?


I found that tedious.


Most of them! So many are from people well-versed in the hard sciences or the law (anyway - it would probably be USA law) or maths or such high faluting stuff. WHoever it was who previously claimed to be as dumb as a rock, I should join that club. :slight_smile:

Doesn’t stop me loving this boards though - I’ve used it even when I cannot sleep, not precisely because I cannot recall the name of an author or something, but because that is the way the not sleeping is exercising itself. And lo! The SDMB always comes through.

Oh the joy!

“Ask the Billionaire Playgirl Nobel-Winning Chemist”

Maybe some of the medical ones. But I know a real doc probably shouldn’t advise patients that aren’t his/her own. Even then taking medical advice from the net isn’t too wise.

I also try to avoid if I can, topics that are going to be closed soon.

Creative writing, such as
If LOTR were written by someone else!
Surreal continuing story walking through doors
Grammatically correct rap song (hifalutin English rap)
Hifalutin literary excerpt in limerick
Surreal something else