What to do? I don't think I'm ALLOWED to ask him out, and I wouldn't know how anyway

Where I work, they contract out the security guards, and there’s a rotation. In my nearly three years here, I’ve seen many come and go.

Anyway, last week Uncle Fester (a security guard who looked just like that) was training a major cutie pie that I could pretty much tell was gay, and through the wonders of gaydar, he picked up on me as well.

I’ve been looking particularly gorgeous this week (even though most of the time I feel like Anna Nicole must :eek: ), and now security boytoy is on his own, from 8 to 4. We’re having a heat wave, and after I displayed the contents of my knapsack (we’re required to do so), he said, “I hope it’s not too hot out there for you.”

First sign of a flirt.

Anyway, I pass through security many times a day, because I smoke like a fiend. He always looks up at me. We started making more eye contact, and now we’re kind of smiling at each other coyly. I always make a point to look down with a tiny smile afterward (I’m kinda faking, I know) so he thinks I’m bashful about it. (Well, I sorta am.)

Here’s the thing:

My fat, lazy pig of a former boss once mentioned that the security guards are forbidden from fraternizing with the employees. I mean, if I did end up hooking up with this guy, who would know? I hardly ever see anyone from the company on the street.

And how would I go about hooking up with him? I can’t just troll every gay bar in town in the hopes of finding him…

And in a few months… the rotation will take place, and he’ll be gone… :frowning:


I don’t know if there’s any advice to be offered, but I thought I’d give it a shot. This has been bugging me all week.

Well you could wait until he is going to rotate out then do something. At that point he wouldn’t be a security guard there and it wouldn’t be against any rules.

If I just wait until he disappears, then I’d have to “find” him.

I could wait until I see him training someone new, which means the Friday of that week is his last day. Then, that Friday, slip him my number, which would be hard in front of a trainee, and kind of tacky.

Or I could get his last name off his security badge (his first name is Dominic) and look him up…

This, after several months of flirting and building sexual tension.


You could bring a vibrator to work in your backpack, and when he spots it during checkin…

Then again, there’s, you know, talking…

Yes, talking. I just figured out a reason to talk to him: forget my security badge and have to register for a temporary one. And do that a few times… :slight_smile:

Oh, Jiminy Christmas, Scott, you are so getting drummed out of the Gay Coquettes Seduction Drill Team!

The next time you go to work, you find some excuse to shake his hand, wherein you’ll pass the your name and phone number. Conversely, you can CALL Security, can’t you? His name is on his badge, right? Just call down, ask for him, and then talk dirty to the boy.

so whats the big deal wiht going out for a drink with co- workers? invite him and a few others out and offer to give him a ride–

How can it be acceptable that a company would regulate its employee’s private life and who they’re allowed to fraternize with, hang out with or sleep with? Why not telling me what I should eat, what movie I should watch and what I should do on the weekend, while we’re at it? Actually telling me who I should or shouldn’t fraternize with would be even worse than any of these examples.

Just make sure there isn’t someone with the same first name before you talk dirty to him. :smiley:

I would talk to him now about hooking up with him after his rotation is over…give you both something to look forward to. :smiley:

On another note, this is my first tidbit of advice on gay dating. Do I get a gold star or anything :wink:

s.e. does the not fraternizing with the security guards rule apply to just during working hours? My guess would be yes. Why not ask him out for a drink or to dinner (hint: try to do the asking after working hours, if possible) after work. Course, knowing you, you’ll take this bit o’ advice just a step further and ask him out for a shag behind the dumpster after work. :smiley:

Like I said, I figured out a way to talk to him: forget my security badge. That way, I have to get a temp one, and can chat him up. Do that several times, more thoroughly check out the vibes, and see what happens.

As for the not fraternizing with security, I don’t know if it’s a written rule. My fat former boss (see OP) was full of shit about a lot of things, so he could have been spewing crap (like the crap he had just eaten in the cafeteria… ::shudder:: ).

But it’s quite obvious this boy likes me, and I have to form a strategy. I’ve never done the workplace dating thing before…

I’m not at work today (took a day off to clean my place before Doperéal) so I can’t do anything, but hopefully come Monday, I’ll make a start.

Gee, officer, that’s an awfully nice nightstick. I bet you’re good with that thing.

This is starting to sound like the plot of a bad gay porn movie… :stuck_out_tongue:

Two bits of advice.

Number one: Former boss, former rules. Fraternize away!

Number two: one of my co-workers started fraternizing with a security guard at my company. They’re getting married in September. But they’re straight, so the romantic rules may not apply in your situation :wink:

Forgetting your badge is a great idea. Maybe you should even “send it to the dry cleaners” for a few days in a row. “Losing it” might be a good option too if they take a few days to get a replacement.

Good luck!

a security person is suppose to be “removed” from the people he is watching. yeah, they are watching the employees as well as the visitors. why don’t you kind of break the rule, IF you KNOW he is gay. ask him if he would like to go out when he moves on to his next assignment. then play it cool until he leaves. good luck.

Check your company handbook and see if there’s any ‘fraternization’ policy; if it isn’t written down, they can’t hold you to it.

Do you get off work the same time as he? If not, arrange to somehow (leave early or work late), then linger around chatting to him in the parking lot and say, “Hey, would you like to go get a beer?” (insert cup of coffee, bite to eat, if you don’t drink)

Hmmm - workplace dating. Ouch (or at least that’s been my experience.)

How about just being upfront with him and just ask him if he’d like to get together after work some day for a beer/coffee/whatever? If the supposed “fraternization policy” actually exists, he’ll know about it. It’s gonna be HIS ass that gets fired anyway, not yours, so it’ll have to be his call.

OTOH, you could come in really early some morning and simply jump over the security desk and do him right there. But then, I’ve always been a bit more, um, direct, in my flirting style:D

I know that if I was watching a porno where all that happened for the whole first half was getting advice over the internet and a little bit of flirting, I’d be pretty damn annoyed. If it was a porno, you’d forget your badge, then you’d both get naked and spend several minutes doing uncomfortable things on top of the x-ray machine. Dating would be so much easier if the world worked like a porno movie.