I guess I can round up this discussion with what partly inspired this thread.
I don’t know much about one of my doctor’s ethnicity. He appears to be Middle Eastern (though ironically he has an English name). Anyway, he is a very attractive man, I think at least.
I’m middle aged. So involuntary erections don’t plague me. But as a urologist (that’s what he is, BTW), could he still tell that there is extra blood flow to that area? Doctors are onto things we laymen would never expect.
Also, this is going to sound weird. But he sometimes scopes me. What is I had an erection while that happened? What would he say?
I would assume nothing. I would assume he’s seen it before. I would assume he doesn’t care about your erection other than to note your parts still work.
What are you concerned about? When I was about 17, I volunteered at a muscular dystrophy camp with teenagers. One of our responsibilities was to get them in their clothes in the morning (I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t fly today or, honestly, why we were even allowed to do this), and the kid under my responsibility woke up with a raging case of morning wood. Whatever, I thought, it happens. It’s as awkward for him as it is to me, why bring attention to it? It’s also quite natural. I just finished getting him clothed and we went on with our day. Why say anything? Just be professional.
I had this done last year, but they put me completely under for both the stent insertion and removal. So I didn’t need to worry about interacting with anyone. The only privacy concern was that they wouldn’t let me go home after the removal until I had urinated, and nurses kept coming into my room to check on me.
I always ask for an experienced phlebotomist, because i can be difficult to stick and I’ve had bad experiences. But in general I’m good at holding still and not overly squicked out by things, so i feel in a good practice patient for most stuff. And doctors gotta learn somewhere.
Completely not understanding how any of these factors bear on the question of what to do or say when a doctor examines your privates. Would you mind elaborating? Also, why might it be ironic that someone of middle eastern descent might have an “English” name?
It’s possible he could tell. Still not seeing how this bears on your OP question.
What would you expect he might say? “Carol, get in here, this guy’s got major wood! And bring the camera, we’re putting this on YouTube!”?
If you were a doctor and your patient were sporting wood, what do you imagine you would say?
Doctors work with human bodies. That includes all of the things that bodies are and do. Erections, vaginal lubrication, hard nipples, ingrown hairs, drool, vomit, pubic hair, whatever. It’s all in a day’s work.
When I was 25 I had a penile doppler scan and a pelvic arteriogram, which you can read about here:
TL,DR: both procedures involved a multitude of people viewing and handling my penis across its entire range of tumescence. Yeah, it was kind of awkward, but I didn’t feel compelled to say anything that wasn’t clinically relevant. It was a bit embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as barfing all over myself during recovery. I wasn’t supposed to be moving, so I couldn’t grab anything to throw up in and I couldn’t aid in the cleanup; it was an awful lot of vomit, and it was entirely for someone else to clean up after me.
A good doctor knows their patient may be mentally uncomfortable during parts of a physical exam, and will maintain professional demeanor throughout. It’s not unreasonable for a patient to express their concerns or discomfort in a straightforward way (e.g. “I feel really awkward about this”), but it’s dangerous to attempt humor at this point; you might score a hit (“I’d like to be able to use this vagina again when you’re done with it”), or you might utter something really offensive (“should I be buying you dinner?”) and ruin your relationship with this doctor. Mirror your doctor’s professional demeanor, and all will be fine.
FWIW, you’re not the first person to be concerned about getting an erection in a clinical setting:
Bottom line, erections happen, often without the conscious complicity of their owners. It’s just one more thing that bodies do, doctors and nurses know this, and it’s no big deal to them.
My automatic response to discomfort is humor so I’m sure I’ve annoyed many a medical professional by cracking wise. I’ve had the same GP for at least a decade and he also does my gyno exams; he’s a bit of a joker himself so it seems to work for both of us.
Years ago I had a male gynecologist; an old gentleman with gigantic hands. One time during an exam he asked “does your boyfriend have a giant pecker?” Apparently I had a what amounts to a calloused cervix
@DocCathode Different ethnicities have different attributes, that some people think are attractive. Oh, come on now. You’ve never heard someone say that Italian men look pretty hot? I don’t understand your question.
I think some black men are hot. And some Middle Eastern men, aren’t bad either, as I said.
Actually he may even be part black, FWIW. He is from Canada, is all I know. He also gained a little weight, last time I saw him, which turned me on even more, for some reason.
Just so you know, I’m not there checking him out, every time I am there. Mostly we stick to business, which helps a lot. And I try to keep any sexual thought that may come up, out of my mind.
There is the story that Isaac Asimov told on himself. He was going in for surgery on his thyroid. Just before going under he grabbed the surgeon and said:
“Doctor, Doctor, in the green coat,
Doctor, Doctor, cut my throat.
But Doctor, when you’re done and then,
won’t you sew me up again?”
According to the tale, the surgeon had to wait several minutes until he stopped laughing and could be sure of his hands. Isaac Asimov wrote that it was not the smartest thing he’d ever done.
I try to ignore the attractiveness or lack thereof of my doctors. Best to just keep matters professional. So it’s a really weird thing to say. If what you intended to say was “I found the doctor physically attractive, and that disturbed me”, you should just say it, and not dance around it by physically describing the doctor. That seems to be indulging in your sexual attraction, even now, after the fact.
I guess it’s an attempt to make it all as clinical as possible.
One anecdote I’ll add to the others here is that after my wonderful family doctor retired, I (a male) ended up with a female GP. Which was fine with me – in fact, she seems extraordinarily competent and knowledgeable – except for the nagging thought of: what if something needed to be examined in or around my private parts?
Exactly that happened a couple of years ago. All I can say is that it was managed with such consummate professionalism that I went away wondering what I had ever been worried about. I’m pretty sure that all doctors are well trained in dealing with this sort of thing.
Actually it is often a patient preference. Being watched getting undressed (and dressed even) is squicky to some people, more intimate of a behavior, than the having the body parts inspected clinically. Best from our professional side to keep our time in visual or other contact as limited to what is needed to do the task required, be it an exam or a procedure, and as little as possible that is not required.
It’s the converse socially sort of to the original OP. We on the professional side only spend the time we need to spend in contact visually or otherwise; and the patient only speaks to ask a serious on topic question or on topic comment.
@Jim_B you do not have to worry (or dream) about becoming a Penthouse Letter. The physician would not say a thing.
Oh, absolutely. When i was in high school i took a class drawing nudes. We had live models. And i was okay looking at them and drawing them as they posed. But i always looked away when they undressed, because that felt more intimate.
But now I’m an old lady and not nearly as awkward around naked bodies, mine or anyone else’s, as i was i high school.
Honestly, i appreciate that the staff offers to leave when i disrobe. I think that’s polite and respectful. But i am no longer bothered by someone seeing me disrobe, and if they don’t mind staying I’d rather not spend the extra time sitting awkwardly waiting for them to return.
Shoot, my urologist is an attractive young woman. She makes her living handling men’s private parts and sticking her fingers where the sun don’t shine, and asking me how my erections are. We’re both purely professional and think nothing of it.
I have an annual physical with my PCP, who is a woman. I’ve also had to get prostate and hernia checkups, plus a testicular ultrasound in the past couple years. All medical professionals except my hernia surgeon (who brought a young female med student in the room for initial consult) are/were women. I don’t really make small talk too much in general, so no extra attempts there. I just assume that everyone is a professional and they know how bodies work (including for example, that spontaneous erections are very common for healthy men. Not sure if that has been mentioned, but I’m sure everyone was thinking about that aspect).
That said, I did have one uncomfortable situation where I did become aroused when the tech was handling my scrotum. We actually were talking about something when that came up. Nothing was said about that, and after I dressed I returned to the previous conversation and everything seemed good and professional.
Also, not sure if anyone else mentioned this policy/routine. My PCP says she is required to have a witness. So one of the nurses comes in the room for pants-dropping time.
This is not uncommon, especially with younger men. I have examined thousands of such patients for hernias, etc and I’d say it occurs in maybe 5% of the cases. I don’t mention it unless the patient says something (usually they say “sorry” or something similar, if they say a word) in which case I just say “don’t worry, that’s just a reflex response”. Then we move on. I never even remember which patient it occurred with afterwards.
