my old wedding ring? I’ve been thinking about getting rid of it but don’t know how I should do it. I thought about keeping it and giving it to my daughter but that seems kind of silly. It’s not like I’m still married to her father so why would she want the ring if we’re no longer together. I also thought about going back to the jewelery store where we bought it and see about having it made into a necklace or setting the stones differently but that’s just gonna cost me money and I’m still have the damn thing.
I also thought about taking it to a pawn shop but they probably wouldn’t give me a decent amount of money for it. It only cost about $600. It has one diamond in the center and 4 smaller diamonds on one side of the center diamond. I just want 1/2 of what was paid for it. (I paid for half of it by the way… my ex wasn’t good at saving money and we got married in a hurry so he didn’t have any money for a ring so I had to pay for half of it.)
My daughter is only 2 1/2 years old so I can’t really ask her. I also have a ring that is an emerald and diamonds and a mother’s ring that has a periodot (my daughter’s birthstone) and diamonds, both of which her father gave me. I thought I would give these 2 rings to her when she’s older… 16 or 18 maybe. I just think that if it was me, I wouldn’t want my mom’s wedding ring if she wasn’t still married to my father.
And doesn’t it cost money to put stuff out on eBay?
Agreed. I have some wedding photos, and my eleven year old daughter keeps them in her room. She loves to look at them, though she is perfectly aware that Mom and Dad are much, much happier this way.
Delta is right, your daughter may be more interested than you think.
You aren’t entirely clear about your feelings for the ring. Are you like my one sister, who divorced the child-molesting jerk and can’t stand him now but still has warm memories of their earlier years together? Or are you like another sister who would like to erase every possible memory of the ex-husband and every single minute of their years together? Or something else? Likewise, your daughter’s relationship with her dad. Is he still an active part of her life? Is he a rarely-seen mostly-rumored figure? More importantly, how does she feel about your marriage? That is, does she have warm memories of the good times, or were they mostly all bad from her point of view? These factors would affect whether she would want the ring or not, but I agree that you should give her the chance first. (If she does want it, you would have to judge if she is mature enough to possess [i.e. not lose] a relatively valuable piece of jewelry that will not fit her or if you should keep it in your own jewelry box for her till a bit later.)
If you have bad feelings and don’t want it to be a piece of jewelry for yourself, sell it, but don’t pawn it. Nothing could be worse, and you would not get nearly half its value. Local classifieds tend to be cheap and successful.
If you wouldn’t mind having it around, it need not be expensive to have it re-worked. It can be made into a pendant for a necklace at minimal cost (I had this done once). If you want to set new stones and such, obviously it would be more costly.
Is there someone else important in your life, or do you think there will be in the next few years? If so, you might consider converting the ring to something else and making it into a gift for your SO. Sort of a symbolic melting away of the past and transforming it into the vibrant feelings that are (or could be) your bright and happy feelings about a new future.
In short, if it’s an unpleasant object to you and you want to be rid of it (you call it a damn thing but it’s impossible to tell in type how much feeling there is to the term), sell it but don’t pawn it. Unless your daughter has a poor relationship and bad feelings about her dad, she will probably say she wants it if you offer it, so you would have to decide if that is appropriate. If you still have some pleasant feelings attached to the ring, consider keeping it and giving it a new life in a different form. And if you aren’t in particular need of the money, you might just keep it a little while longer until the right use for it presents itself.
I don’t really have a lot of fond memories of my marriage. The only memories I really have from that time are of my daughter. Everything else I’ve tried to block out. My daughter will be 3 in August so I can’t really ask her if she wants it.
So far the only time she spends with him is every other weekend. He’s never expressed an interest in seeing her any other time and I’ve told him several times that if he would like to spend more time with her to call and we’ll work it out. He’s never called so I guess he just wants to see her every other weekend. I guess she has a good time with him but she’s still too young to tell me a lot of things so I’m not sure. She gets excited when I tell her she’s going to stay with daddy but she gets excited when she sees me Sunday night when he drops her off so that’s just a typical reaction I guess.
I guess that I just don’t want it around because I don’t want a reminder of my marriage. I don’t have any ill feelings towards my ex any longer but I don’t need anything to remind me of the shit I put up with for 2 years. I would rather just get rid of it. I don’t really want to get the stones reset because it would still be a reminder and I still have the 2 other rings that I can give to my daughter. I don’t have a problem holding on to them because they aren’t a “wedding” ring and don’t have such a symbolic meaning. She was only a little over 1 1/2 when we divorced so she won’t have any memories of her father and I together, she won’t remember the bad times we had together either (thank goodness) so I don’t think it should be a sentimental thing.
I have a photo album for each of my kids and they all have pictures from birth till the present so my daughter has pictures in hers of the 3 of us together. I also kept the wedding photos and marriage license for her… they are in her closet so she will have something to keep for sentimental reasons if she wants.
There’s just something about that ring that bugs me and I think I finally figured out what it is but it will take too long to explain it right now so maybe I’ll do it later.
Why not find a goldsmith, melt the ring down and make something else out of it? That’s what my wife and I did with a number of rings (including her wedding/engagement rings from her first marriage).
We actually sold the gemstones (none of them were exceptionally valuable) to the goldsmith.
We got rid of a bunch of old jewerly and my wife got a nice new ring out of it.
Since you have other sentimental keepsakes to offer your daughter (including pictures of the three of you), I say sell the ring. But wait until you can get the best possible price, and then put the money towards her education. In the fifteen or so years until college, it should grow to a fairly substantial amount, which I’m sure will be greatly appreciated by the both of you.
After holding onto mine for about a decade, I sold it (privately) and bought myself the puppy I’ve always wanted!!
I got almost half of what we paid for it, and I don’t feel bad about spending $400 on a dog!! I say, hold out for something you really want, preferably something the cheap SOB wouldn’t get for you, and then GO FOR IT!!! BWAHAHA
I have a friend whos mother was married like 4 times or something. When she was old enough to get married, she had her ring made of the stones of her mother’s rings and the gold from her dad’s and her mom’s rings. You may want to save it for something like that, even though I think it’s a bit odd, lol.
