So, I’m going to be having surgery, and, at a guess, I will be out of work for a week or more.
Hmmm, I should probably tell folks at work something about why I’ll be disappearing for a week, but what? If nothing else, the 6-inch scar that will be quite frankensteinically visible on my neck afterwards for some weeks will cause talk and beg questions. It seems reasonable to at least get a consistent story together.
I’ve already told my manager and one person I work with directly exactly what’s happening, but have asked them not to divulge details to anyone. I told them that “Squeegee will be out of the office for medical purposes” or somesuch is an acceptable thing to say to others.
So how would you handle it if you were getting a benign tumor removed and had to handle potentially embarrasing questions from coworkers?
I don’t want to snub expressions of legitimate concern from nice folks, but do want to keep things low key – “I’m fine, just had some work done and an oil change, thank you!” – if that makes sense.
Maybe I’m being a bit paranoid, but I’m trying to avoid running into someone a year later: “hey, aren’t you the guy that had cancer?” or some other tactless remark.
Bloody hamsters et my previous response to this post…so here we go again…
I don’t see what the problem is. Just tell your coworkers that you are having a tumour removed. If you try to give them some sort of half-answer they’ll immediately think it is some sort of ‘embarrassing’ surgery, like having your gonads removed or getting the self-inserted foreign body excised from your nether regions!!
Why on earth are you embarrassed by having a garden-variety tumour cut out of your neck? I mean, not to detract from your concern and discomfort, it’s not really horror movie material. If you want to avoid people being inquisitive…give 'em far TMI the first time they ask, give them ALL the gruesomest details of the surgery and POSSIBLE complications, and I can assure you they will never ask again!! Bore them shitless with your malady, and you will be immune to their curiosity!!
Gonads removed kabmbuckta? In para. 2, it is clear the scar will be on squeegee’s neck. Now unless you have some weird things happening in your state up there, there is little liklihood it’s his gonads. Unless you means his nuts ala Frankenstein.
But to the OP, tell them it’s a cyst if you don’t want to get into the details. If you mention tumor whether it benign or not, it will be cancer to them now and forever.
I would just say that you are having/had surgery. When pressed, simply say, “Oh, it’s nothing major, and it’s not really something I want to discuss in detail.” Then change the subject to something work-related.
If they continue to press after THAT, then they’re being really clueless and rude, and you can have no qualms about using the broken-record technique or saying flat-out, “I’m not going to discuss it with you,” or “Look, my medical information is really none of your business.”
I guess the folks in my workplace are too close and friendly with one another - we’ve have several people have various surgeries of various kinds (even me - twice) and they almost always simply said something along the lines of, “I’ll be out for a few days for surgery, see you when I get back.” When the question is raised as to what the surgery is for, most of the time, either the real answer is given or the person is simply told “it’s personal” and that’s the end of it.
On the other hand, we’re the kind of workplace where half the staff shaved their heads to support a woman who was going through chemotherapy, so maybe we’re not typical.
I’m physically disabled from birth (I’m 23) & have had several major surgeries. I’ve had practice in dealing with my public - I’ve encountered all sorts of questions; some honestly caring, some unthinking & invasive.
That being said, here’s what I’d do:
If the question is polite (“You’ve been out for a bit - how are you feeling/is everything okay/do you need a hand with anything?” etc.), I’d simply smile & say, “I had to have a procedure, but I’m doing fine now, thanks”.
If some idjit approaches with a gem like, “Uh, no offense, but…what happened to you/what’s wrong with you?” or something similar (it’s happened to me), simply say something like,
“Everything is fine, but thank you for the concern”
“I’d rather keep chat work-related, actually…So how about those Mets?”
“I’d tell you - really - but I’m prevented from discussing it due to the doctor-patient confidentiality clause”.
