You’ll continue to get good grades without trying too hard but if you worked a little, you could get great grades! And try to get a little more involved. I know you’re just counting down the minutes until school is over but maybe you should’ve tried to make more friends there. Don’t procrastinate so much and put away your misplaced guilt about asking your parents to pay for some art classes or another fun activity.
Try harder to be pretty. Be nice to the boys. Lose your virginity ASAP–it can only hold you back. Make an effort to get in John M.'s way.
And try harder in gym and math.
One more…in college when that drunk girl comes and sits on your lap. For the love of God kiss her. Your next two years will be a lot more fun. For you AND her.
The people who you think are your friends now are not. Except you should not let Tanya get away… and if you meet her when you’re 22 randomly at a bar and reconnect, don’t let her get away again, you idiot!
They’re not laughing with you… they’re laughing at you. Save yourself the embarrassment down the line and stop associating with them. If you don’t you’ll just feel stupid later when you realise that they don’t actually like you.
Even though you are 10 you can spell better than most of the adults.
I know you’re smart and you don’t have to study now, but please at least try. In university, you’ll need to know how to study, and if you’ve never studied before, your grades are going to slip and you’re going to panic.
Your aunt isn’t really as nice as she seems. Do not idolise her.
Your brother’s teeth straightened out on their own and they are beautiful. However, yours will not. When Mom and Dad ask you if you want braces, SAY YES! Otherwise you’ll be 26 with these hideous crooked teeth.
Drink more water and less pop. It may save you some extra pounds down the road.
Please consider taking more physics and majoring it in university instead of psychology.
Learn social skills.
Be more assertive.
Ask for what you want. The worst that can happen is people will say no.
DO NOT GIVE UP ON BAND when you transfer to that other school because their band sucks. When you start going to highschool in your hometown again, rejoin the band! I tell you this now, because I swear to you that they will go to Walt Disney World and play Carnegie Hall, and you will be KICKING YOURSELF! IN THE FACE!
Also take singing lessons, you have a good voice, seriously, and you could do more.
I’d ask him to pass the following note to his dad:
June 11 – Larry Holmes defeats Gerry Cooney for WBC Heavyweight title.
November 12 – Aaron Pryor defeats Alexis Arguello, 14th round knockout
November 13 – Ray Mancini defeats Duk Koo Kim by knockout in 14 rounds
Super Bowl XVI: San Francisco 49ers won 26-21 over the Cincinnati Bengals
Five Nations Championship: Ireland win the Triple Crown
and a few other little predictions, along with the suggestion to take any proceeds from the above and keep an eye out for a company called Microsoft.
Other than that, he was a happy enough little fellow, so I’d be worried about meddling making things worse.
That’s the catch-22. Inability to accept advice was (and is) the root of so much of my unhappiness.
Pretty much every other thing I’d say to my young self has already been posted.
Make an effort to:
Be clean, neat, and presentable, both in body and environment (ie, clean your room!);
Be nice and polite even when you find others inane;
Control your sense of humor. The fact that you think it’s funny doesn’t make it OK to say;
Do your damn homework and actually LEARN it;
be sociable and confident.
The ugliest truth to tell myself: “Kid, your mother is going to do her damndest to make you hate yourself. You’re going to have to put up with a lot of shit. Try to ignore all her comments about mens’ failings.”
Second ugliest: “You’re not going to GET ANYTHING unless you either take a risk or expend effort.”
Your sister is not ugly, she is hot.
Maybe not to you but believe me she is and this you can turn to your advantage when all the guys start sniffing around…think bribes 
To the ten-year-old Phantom Dennis: something (well, probably a lot of things) will happen to you to make you into a cranky, cynical, pessimistic adult. Do not let this happen! 
You see the sunset? Yep, it’s gonna get dark. But hang in there, the sun will rise again.
You prepare for school exams and dinner parties - not life.
You live life.
It’s a ride, enjoy it!
It’s never the things you fret and worry over that get you, it’s always the things you could never have imagined or foreseen. So stop worrying, fretting and over-thinking everything, it’s not helpful.
(Also, it’s not that you’re cursed, some people are just on a shorter path 
!)
[ul]
[li]When you get interested in girls (and you will), don’t set your expectations too high. If you’re not married by the time you’re thirty, give it up, there’s no hope for you.[/li][li]Achieving your career and family aspirations will be thwarted by your lack of social skills.[/li][li]People don’t stop being assholes to you once you’ve graduated from high school.[/li][li]No matter who you vote for, they’re going to fuck shit up, no matter what they promise.[/li][li]People who claim they are Christians are not necessarily good people. In fact, some of them are real nutjobs.[/li][li]Lots of people of all ages and from all walks of life tell lies, not just children. Be wary of this.[/li][li]The biggest lie you will ever hear is “I’ll pay you back.” The second one is, “I’ll always love you.”[/li][li]You won’t look forward to birthdays as much as you do now.[/li][li]Don’t waste money on self-help books.[/li][li]If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Remember this![/li][li]Your parents may hate the music you like, but you will hate the music the next generation likes. It’s called rap music.[/li][/ul]
Ugly:
Brush your damned teeth thoroughly and often. Your teeth suck, and you will spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on them, and they’ll just suck worse.
Study hard. You are smarter than practically everyone here in podunk Ohio, and can coast along, but when you get to college you’ll feel like you’ve been hit by a truck.
Paying attention to the people who will make you miserable when you get to junior high will leave you with neuroses you’ll never get over. Ignore the stupid fucks.
You will call a complete asshole your bestest friend.
In your twenties, you will bitch and whine about your life. You have a good life, you idiot! Pull up your socks.
Not ugly, but would have been nice to know:
Your parents have plenty of money and will let you do anything you want. You can get out of going to Podunk Junior High and Podunk High, if you want to. You can do college abroad if you want. The world’s your oyster, but you’re an idiot.
Masturbation cannot and will not hurt you. Later in life doctors will tell you that orgasms are good for your plumbing. And everybody except your weird religious friend does it.
All the difficult and risky parts of arranging sexual relationships have to be done by the men.
I know…first you have to make sure she isn’t an undercover cop, then you have to come up with the $40 and the motel room, unless it’s a quickie in your car.
Oh, and finding a quiet (and dark) parking space in those parts of town is a piece of cake?
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The bottom will fall out of your world in six years, when mom and dad have a terrible divorce and mom turns into a crazy alcoholic and invites bad men to live in the house.
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When you leave the state in seven years, take as many of your brothers and sisters as you can with you. They need saving and you can figure out a way to make it together.
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Cherish your youngest brother, as he will die young.
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Though some bad things will happen (see 1-3), try to relax, kid! It will turn out okay and worrying about every little thing in the universe won’t change anything.
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All the popular kids will end up staying in this podunk town and won’t have the experiences that you’ll get to have. The glory and happiness they have now ends in seven years when high school is over and they get married and go to work in the canned food factory. Your life is going to be different and you’ll pay some prices for that, but it will be worth it.
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Really, kid, stop worrying!
This assertion is jaw-dropping to me. Explain yourself please.
I would think the most difficult and risky part of arranging a sexual relationship is making sure you don’t get diseases or pregnant. In my experience both of these are usually taken care of by the women, by getting birth control and insisting on a condom. You have something more difficult and risky?
Oops. My above post refers to post #73.
Your parents, although well educated, intelligent, and loving, have generally poor social skills, few or no real friends and hate to travel. Their provincial worldview will do you a disservice because you will have no real idea of the vast universe of possibilities open to you for your future. Travel more, and try to meet a greater variety of people, when it is relatively easy to do so in your late teens and early twenties.
Your father is an alcoholic. Much of the stress and tension you feel in your life, and in your relationship with him, is due to this. Miraculously he will stop drinking at about this time (when you are age 10) and never touch the stuff again. Your relationship will improve but the damage has been done, and you will feel the effects for the rest of your life.
When you get to junior high and high school spend less time thinking about/obsessing over girls and try TALKING to some of them, you hopeless geek!
When band ceases to be fun, quit it and pick up another extracurricular activity or two.
Drink more water. You’ll still have kidney failure in twenty years, but at least you’ll have good habits to cope with it.
Go tell Mom she doesn’t need to stay with Dad because of you. Tell her it’s okay to leave him immediately.
Don’t let Cervaise bring the Jawa action figure to school. He’ll accidentally throw it into the bushes and lose it.