What ugly truths would you tell your 10 years-old self if you could?

In My Humble Opinion
41

Funny, I would have said something like “sex is even better than everybody says it is, and you’re going to have enough of it, don’t worry”.

I can’t think of that many ugly truths to tell my 10-year-old self. I had most of the ugly stuff figured out by then. I’d like to tell myself some consoling truths instead. Just tell myself that it does get better. A lot better.

And then, of course, there is the advice. Some people to stick close to, some people to stay away from. Things to do and say, and things not to do and say.

42

The hippies are not cool (remember, this is 1970 we’re talking about here…). Just because they don’t have to go to school and get to live with all their friends in a two-bedroom house and work as waiters so they can afford all their drugs does not make them cool, and in five years, any of them that are ever going to amount to anything are going to be trying desperately to get straight jobs in spite of the whole dropping out, living in a group house and doing drugs thing. So stop idolizing them, ya little brat.

Oh, and get a job as soon as you’re old enough. Anything you’re going to want in life is going to have a need for money as a component. Maybe not much, but some. In a couple years, all those girls you’re going to think are cute? You’re going to want money for dates. Trust me. It’ll be worth it.

43
  • Your dad doesn’t deserve that pedestal you’ve got him on. He’s gonna break your heart someday.
  • In a few years, you’re going to give up trying to be popular and be much happier. Why not just give up on it now? In 20 years you won’t give a fuck about any of them.
  • That lady you call “mom”—who you don’t get along that well with right now—will be your best friend when you grow up. Be nicer to her.
  • Sports are fun, but don’t ruin your body doing it. A lifetime of bad knees and ankles isn’t worth 15 minutes of glory.
  • I know you like to read and write, sweetheart, but for God’s sake, major in something you can make money at. That preacher’s kid you’re going to marry someday isn’t going to be rich. (He’s cute though.)
  • Don’t believe everything you they teach you in church and Sunday school. You need to figure this stuff out for yourself. Don’t let the people in your church judge you. They’re no better than you are, they just think they are.
44

You’re not handsome or cool. You’ll never be handsome or cool. But that’s ok…there’s still a good life out there if you’ll see it. The energy you’ll waste in persuit of a hopeless goal could be used to make you so much happier.

If that kid who is the bully gves you a hard time, its ok to sucker-punch him. If you catch one beating, you’ll heal. And he’ll be thinking about that broken nose the next time he looks for easy victims.

Don’t drink Southern Comfort. Ever.

You have no ‘good’ sister and no ‘evil’ sister. They’re Both Bitches. Stay out of their sphere of influence and they can’t screw with your head.

45

Being able to drive a real car is every bit as cool as you thought it would be. But you’ll also understand why Daddy gets pissed-off sitting in traffic jams.

Women like nice guys - you don’t have to look like a film star to make attractive girls like you if you talk to them like they’re actual people.

Always make friends with the little people - the janitors, dinner ladies and parking guys have the ability to make your life a hell of a lot easier, and are more than willing to do so if you treat them as equals.

Never be over-awed by people with a title - knighthoods are bought just like anything else, and even the Queen has to take a dump now and again.

I know you think it’s yucky now, but you can drink red wine with fish and white wine with steak, and if anyone calls you on it tell 'em they’re a prat.

Tuscany in late summer is the most magical place in the world - learn Italian so you can converse with the locals.

46

  1. Find some kind of physical activity you enjoy and stick with it, even though your friends and your parents don’t really consider it a priority. You’ll thank me later.

  2. Learn how to do some things, even though your parents would usually rather do them themselves than take the time to teach you how to do them. This includes things like cooking and changing tires.

  3. When you get to college, don’t take political science as a major. Take English. You’ll still get the same job when you get out, but you’ll enjoy your classes more.

  4. Just because you can eat anything you want and never gain weight when you’re in high school doesn’t mean it’s gonna last. Better to learn that now before you get out of college, get a sedentary job, and end up having to take two years losing all the weight you gained 'cause you were lazy and unwilling to change your habits.

  5. Stand up to your overprotective mother more. It doesn’t matter that you’d really rather be holed up in your room with your best friend, writing stories and spinning elaborate fantasies. Get out and *do * some stuff. Take some chances. If your friend doesn’t want to, find some more friends who do sometimes.

  6. You’re not ugly. You’re perfectly average-looking, and when you get older you’ll be fine with that, since you prefer to get by on your brains rather than your looks.

  7. In about twenty years, you’ll attend your high school reunion, and the “popular” girls who teased you mercilessly in tenth-grade driver’s ed will be in dead-end jobs and still living in your hometown. Don’t gloat too much, but a little self-satisfaction is okay.

  8. Stay true to yourself. Don’t do things that you know are stupid. Your life is going to turn out pretty good if you don’t screw it up, so–don’t screw it up!

  9. Don’t visit the friendly guy across the street, even though he is one of the few people around who seems interested in listening to you. Trust me on this one. If you ignore me and you *do * go visit him, tell Mom and Dad the first time he tries to show you his funny comic books.

  10. You can have fun (even a little bit of the kind of fun that gets you in trouble!) and still turn out okay. Don’t be such a goody-two-shoes all the time.

  11. Stand up to your mother and tell her that you don’t care if she likes your hair that way, you look stupid and you’re not going to do it anymore. At least then you might be able to look at your class pictures without cringing.

47

Not ugly, but things that would have helped me out:

  1. You don’t stay ugly. You actually get kinda pretty (and yes, it does matter), so quit stressing about it. When you’re tempted to wear makeup, listen to Mom: it does NOT make you look any better.

  2. Drink lots of water when your skin starts breaking out.

  3. Math just got hard because you skipped a grade level in it. Stop pretending you understand it and ask for help.

  4. Mom is doing her best to teach you to be responsible with money. Start doing what she asks you to do – it might help you avoid some nasty debt in college.

Somewhat ugly:

  1. Dad’s going to more or less live in Germany for lots of your formative years. Get to know him better now, because you’ll be in college when he comes back, and he’ll die when you’re 30.

  2. Your singing voice is nothing special.

  3. You’re not one of those people who will have their dream job.

  4. Real life is complicated, no matter how black-and-white your family seems to think it is. You’ll do immoral things, one very significant immoral thing, and come out happier because of it. Start thinking now about how you really want to live, and know that you can’t escape living with your choices. Don’t let other people dictate what your choices should be, and don’t avoid making choices to the point that they get made for you, either.

48
  1. You’re gonna get fat.
  2. See that? That’s as big as your dick will ever grow.
  3. No, people don’t get any nicer.

(None of those things are actually true, of course; I just want to get the damned smirk off his…my…face.)

49

This is but so true. I had a couple of things to deal with in childhood, though even with that I wouldn’t say I had a horrible time by any means. Most of it was pretty good. But someone’s *always[i/] telling you what to do, where you can go, when you have to back, and so on, when you’re a kid. In most of America, you have no mobility and are stuck at home unless Mom or Dad can chauffeur you around. I imagine this is only worse for kids today, since their time seems to be so structured and planned, way more than it was for us.

Being an adult rules.

50

Well, my childhood really sucked. People were always telling me “every kid thinks their life sucks! When you grow up and get some perspective, you’ll realize how good you have it now”. Well, I’m almost 45, and still pretty much convinced that my childhood sucked. My adult life’s pretty damned good, though.

51

Trust me on the sunscreen.

52

I wouldn’t have any ugly truths, just words of encouragement:

  • Take more risks (especially with women)–you won’t regret it.
  • Don’t doubt yourself–you’re going to be more right than you expect.
  • You’re more likable than you think–better to learn that sooner rather than later.
53

My ten-year-old self already knew more ugly truths than she should have known. If I could go back and talk to her, I’d probably just tell some funny jokes and give her a hug.

54

My ten year old self already knew everything and was too dumb to listen. All this great advice would’ve been wasted on me, so I’d have to say to my ten year old self: Pay attention when smart people offer you advice!

And be sure to ask Donna out when you reach 9th grade. She really liked you.

55

I have something to tell my seventeen year old self:

“Hey, idiot! You see that girl over there? The one that you think might want you? She does. Don’t just stand there, do something, you moron!”

Repeat six or seven times.

56

Ignore everything your mother tells you. EVERYTHING

She is one of the most fucked up people you will ever meet, and her advice is garbage.

57

"In two years, you will be pegged as remedial for some crazy reason. You will be placed in a remedial track in the seventh and eighth grades–but don’t worry. Mommy will save you from it. But listen, the school is still going to put you in “average” classes, just 'cause they can. So speak up in class! Ace all the standardized tests. Don’t let the bullies depress your personality (yes, real bullies. You think you’re going to be cute forever?). Why? Because quiet, shy, solemn-faced kids don’t come across as intelligent to busy teachers, even when you make good grades and stay out of trouble.

If you do as I say, you won’t be put into a horrible science class in the ninth grade, and you’ll also be able to start off in geometry rather than algebra. These sound like small, inconsequetials things now, but they aren’t. You’ll be with the smart kids all throughout high school, and you won’t have that nagging doubt about your self-worth which will plague you all through high school and college. I know that’s hard to believe, since you’ve got all the self-esteem in the world now. But the teenage years are rough, girl. You’re in for some trials and tribulations!"

58

Some more advice for my 12-year-old self:

You know that girl Angela? She’s going to ask you out at the end of grade eight. And she won’t be making fun of you, difficult as that is to believe. Be nice to her and don’t push her away.

59

Your father is a physically and emotionally abusive psychopath. Unlearn everything he’s taught you, and don’t listen to another goddamn word he says. If you start lifting weights now, in about four years, you’ll be able to wait until he goes to hit your sister with a belt, and then you can take his ass down with a frying pan. What’s he gonna do, call the cops?

On that note, those shitty little farm towns you’ve been forced to move into every couple of years? That’s not the real world. The real world is actually light years better, as long as you have goals, a sense of humor, and some disposable income. Work’s not nearly as bad as everyone around seems to think it is, plus the orgasms are out of this world.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call your teachers and principals morons, but you should realize that the reason they’re teaching in a shitty little farm town has less to do with some sort of calling and more to do with a lack of options and goals. Be nice to them, but realize that they’re going to be pulling their hair out over kids like you in the same school and the exact same frigging stuffy room years after you’ve forgotten their names.

Straighten up. Don’t worry about the grades to the point of obsession, but you should be learning stuff on your own. Work ahead in your math and science books.

Don’t worry about what you’re like now. You cannot begin to imagine how much better your life will be 25 years from now. Your life is shit now, and it’s going to be shit for eight years to come until you figure some stuff out, but once you’ve figured it out, life will be fine. Just remember not to be bitter or start hating the world. That’s its own hell. Keep seeing the humor in everything, and remember that when the bad days are over, they’re over. No emotional baggage, OK?

Yeah, basically, I’d tell myself not to take things too seriously. Life at ten is not life at thirty, and for me at least, that’s a good thing.

60

Hey, Dot-

you know all those dreams you have now, of yourself as a teenager- tall, blonde, with a matching blonde boyfriend… popular, smart, beautiful… it doesn’t happen that way. You end up geeky and sad and chances are good you’re never going to get beautiful.
And- you know how most of the girls are talking about boys now? How some of them have boyfriends, and most of them are talking about cute boys in movies and stuff? You think now that you’re just a litle behind- that maybe you don’t get it becuase the rest fo the girls are eleven and twelve and you’re only ten. Well, that’s not how it is. By the time you’re fifteen, you still won’t really care about boys. And even though you try to look on the bright side (which really is pretty bright), you’ll still feel like a late-blooming freak.
also, you know how everyone always tells stories about how telling the truth and thinking for yourself gets you places? And how taking an opposite opinion is good because it means you’re bold and brave and form your own opinions? well, that’s mostly lies. Don’t ever ever disagree or offer an opposing viewpoint to an authority figure unless you know them very well and know they won’t give you a low conduct grade. Many, if not most, really just want you to agree with them and let them move on.
Never ever trust anyone who tells you that what you say is confidential. They lie. You have no rights at all before age 18 and anyone who swears that it’s their job to keep secrets will just tell your parents everything you said.