What Was I Thinking: Help me complete this journal fragment

I was flipping through the generic pad of paper I keep next to my bed and found a phrase written on a random page in the middle. Unfortunately I can’t think of what I might have meant by it. It was written using the Cross felt-tip pen I use for Important Thoughts so it must have been earth-shattering. Here it is:

I’m not sure in what universe this

Hey, Dopers, what was I thinking?

Well, let’s examine the scant facts we have at our disposal.

  1. It was written with an Important Thoughts pen – a Cross, thus of high caliber – and therefore must have been of some significance.

  2. It was written in a pad of paper kept by the bed, the purpose of which must be to jot down thoughts as they pop up while you’re either about to go to sleep, after you’ve just awoken for the morning, or in the middle of the night when a particularly startling epiphany or damnably puzzling thought has entered your mind and won’t leave.

  3. It was written on a “random page,” indicating the fragment was written in haste as you whipped open the pad to any old page in order that you be able to write it down before it disappears back into the neural ethers whence it came.

  4. That it is a fragment indicates that either the thought did, in fact, disappear before you were able to properly extract it, or you were suddenly distracted before you were able to write it all down.

  5. The fragment refers either to a person or event personally witnessed by you either in person or on radio, television or the net, or an object you either had in bed with you at that moment or had interacted with in a significant way that day.

From this we extract a number of possibilities following the lines of thought begun with the fragment. I therefore submit the following:

I’m not sure in what universe this sandwich would be considered edible, but there is simply no one in this world that could conceive of combining peanut butter, vegemite and trout into a sandwich that could by any stretch of the imagination strike someone as a good idea. Just the same, here it is, sitting lifelessly on a plate in front of me, emitting a odor not unlike a fish that died in a pile of moldy nuts. What on Earth possessed me to create such a thing? What am I even doing with a jar of vegemite? And why is my nightgown on backwards? I am afraid the answers to these questions may prove to be more disturbing than the sandwich.

And yet, if you hold your nose while eating it, it tastes like strawberry cheesecake! /channeling Rose Nyland on the Golden Girls

Admit it, you’ve been sleep-dimension-walking again, haven’t you?

Be careful or you might wake up surrounded by versions of everyone you know, only with goatees and all bloodthirsty and stuff.

…sentence is completed. Probably on a non-random page with the “Trivial Thoughts” green crayon.

–And bisexual. Let’s not forget this important component of mirror universes.

…broken transporter has set me down, but I hope they make a good PBVT.*

*peanut butter, vegemite and trout sandwich

Hmm. Perhaps there is an extra dimension to my life I am unaware of. But as far as I know, my nightclothes always stay firmly in place.

I’m not sure in what universe…someone would be ringing my doorbell at this hour, but I just threw on some tangerine lipgloss and answered the door.

I’m not sure in what universe this is happening, but someone with tangerine lipgloss just answered the door! And it’s my apartment!

(So why was I ringing the doorbell?)

(Come to think of it, since when do I even have a doorbell?)

My sister with a goatee. That would be scary.

See, I have a sneaking feeling that the fragment may have been the beginnings of a rant about someone calling before 2 PM on a Saturday, and I fell back to sleep, but the tangerine lipgloss angle makes it much more intriguing!

As much as I would love to claim that line as my own, we have Peter Graves via a Geico commercial to thank for that gem. :slight_smile:

:stuck_out_tongue: I think I’ve seen that one once, not enough times to make it part of my psyche! I liked it though.