What was the most assholeish piece of behaviour by a lead character in Friends?

I remember a thread asking about the most assholeish piece of behavour by one of the 4 main characters in Seinfeld. Since all 4 of them are horrible, horrible people there was quite a list to chhose from. By contrast, the Friends characters are by and large fundamentally good people, but each can have their assholeish streak. Which actions from the run were the most distasteful?

This should only be actions taken within the chronological period from “The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate” to “The Last One”. Anything that happens in flashbacks or exposition from before the series starts, (like Phoebe’s mugging days), doesn’t count, nor does anything Joey did on Joey.

The ones that stand out to me are Rachel and Chandler stealing their neighbour’s cheesecake, and its replacement and the replacement for that and Rachel blowing thousands of dollars on a last-minute flight to break up Ross’ wedding.

Here’s a list of many such behaviors:


When Chandler kisses Joey’s girlfriend behind Joey’s back, instead of just telling Joey he’s interested in her. It wasn’t all that serious a relationship for Joey, so he might have just said “Hey, Kathy, I can’t see you anymore, because Chandler is seriously interested in you, and I think you should give him a shot.”

Then, and this is the really assholish part: after he starts going out with Kathy, he gets all jealous over her kissing the guy she’s in a play with on stage, and ends up screwing up a good relationship (it’s Paget Brewster!!!) because he’s so worried that she will cheat on him because she cheated with him. And she does end up sleeping with someone else, but only after they have a huge fight, and she assumes the relationship is finished.

If we were allowed to pick things from the past, it would be when Joey threw Sherilynn Fenn’s leg in the fire.

That’s a good example. It’s Paget Brewster, for Christ’s sake!

Rachel flying to England for the express purpose to break up Ross’ and Emily’s(?) wedding was pretty shitty. Dr. House berating her for it is one of my favourite scenes in the show.

I’m not a superfan, so although I’ve seen all the episodes I can’t remember everything in detail. But the behavior that stinks out the most to me is pretty much everything Ross did around his and Rachel’s breakup. She was just starting her dream career, he started acting extremely jealous, it led to their “break”, he immediately slept with someone else, and then instead of acknowledging her hurt feelings yelled about them being “on a break”.

I agree with all of the above and the last part about Joey is the first thing that came to mind, though it’s one of my favorites scenes.

Ross has been a dick in a lot of ways, especially regarding his relationship with Rachel, as noted by Sam Lowry. Off the top of my head I’ll mention the time he tried to sabotage any potential relationship between Rachel and her new boss by sending a bunch of stuff to her office - flowers, stuffed animals, a barbershop quartet - and then showed up when she was working late
<Rachel>Who show’s up at somebody’s work? I mean unless if they were a park ranger or something>
Actually, overall I’d say Ross was the biggest jerk of the group.

I’d say of all of them, Ross was the biggest jerk. From the way he treated Rachel to sleeping with her in the museum exhibit and waking up to find a bunch of children staring at them (why he didn’t get fired on the spot is beyond me) to the way he treated his ex-wife’s lover (okay, perhaps some bad blood there, but come on. You have a kid together)

Then the way he treated Emily? Telling her she had to trust him? Hello, kettle, this is pot. You’re black.

He was mean to Monica when they were children too.

Rachel, for getting mad at Ross for doing that cute chick while they were on a break. And then wrecking Ross’s marriage. She treated him like dirt since she first met him. I don’t know why Ross wanted her, sure she’s incredibly hot, I’d give up anything I’ve got to bang her, I mean it’s not just how she looks but how she looks when she wants to be hot, like remember that time she went to that thing in that little dress and she said she had no underwear on? And when she was down on all fours eating cheesecake off the floor in the hall? That girl has it going on everywhere! So… oh yeah, Ross, damn that guy was lucky.

Ross (I’m sensing a runaway victory here). Pivot!

Pivot on this, asshole.

Can i nominate all 4 for permanently reserving a coffeshop sofa&table in New York? Although I guess Gunther is complicit there too…

To be fair, they just live in a parallel universe where nobody else wants what appears to be prime seating. It’s always empty when they arrive. On the very few, (possibly only one) occasions when it isn’t they don’t claim any implicit ownership of the space.

Ross claimed to be a masseur so he could put his hands on a hot girl, but then it was actually her grandfather who was getting the massage.

So, basically, attempted sexual assault, but at least he got his comeuppance because old people are gross lol!!!

Listen, you break up with me and then a hot girl like Chloe hits on me? I’m on board.

The museum does have one of my favorite lines, when they roll over onto the juice box…on the other hand, I can’t stand Chris Isaak.

Ross, for telling Rachel that he is going to get their marriage annulled and then, when he finds out it has to be a divorce, decides just to not tell her they are still married.

Sleeping with the hot girl is not necessarily an asshole move. I can understand Rachel’s hurt, since she didn’t think of it as an actual break-up, and even so that it was so soon. But I can understand him sleeping with someone because he thought they broken up. But the issue is how he kept on yelling about that they were on a break and she shouldn’t be mad, and at some point yelling about how she should have forgiven him by now.

And also it was the stuff before the break-up, where he was basically sabotaging her job, because he didn’t feel like he had a girlfriend.

That’s the directors.

Anyway, they don’t reserve the couch. I recall them once entering the coffeeshop, seeing someone else there, acting confused, but then just sitting someone else.

But hang on, she says to Monica that episode or the next, “we broke up,” so she was pretty clear on that point.

All that other stuff? Totally agree…he could be such a dink.

I kind of think that only things the six leads did to persons outside their sick, sick (but in the case of Phoebe, extremely hot) circle should count. I will thus nominate Rachel’s shaving bald of Marcia Brady II.

Mine, too. But I will remind you all that when she actually got there, and saw how happy Ross and Emily were, all Rachel said to him was “Congratulations.” She may have had an assholish purpose, but as events transpired all she actually did was attend a wedding that she had been invited to.

The fact that Ross and Emily went kaput anyway is all on Ross, because he said Rachel’s name during the vows.

Ross, in general, was the biggest asshole of the bunch, which mostly manifested in his behavior toward Rachel. It wasn’t just sleeping with the copyshop girl, it was everything leading up that. He was a clingy, insecure, jealous boyfriend, unwilling to trust Rachel and unwilling to let her do her new job that she loved and was good at, because it meant time away from him. Even years later, long after they had broken up, he continued to sabotage her potential relationships with other men.

Which is a pity, because I really enjoy David Schwimmer as an actor, but Ross really was a pathetic and unlikable jackass.

I, too, thought of the leg first and right after thought of Suzie Underpants-- but that didn’t happen during the show. How about Monica trying to derail Fun Bobby’s sobriety? That was pretty shitty.