So…um…you’re saying you don’t want this? ahem 
kidding
I’ve never really gotten anything out of the ordinary, but my husband got a medieval-style mace for Xmas from his sister one year…and he’s not even an SCA member. WTF?!
I got a dragon for christmas once. (not 2003)
I got an umbrella for Christmas.
No, that’s not weird in itself, but if you live here you know no umbrella can stand up to the wind that always accompanies rain. Also, I don’t have anywhere to walk in the rain… except from the car to the school. But because of the wind, rain blows pretty much horizontally. An umbrella would do no good unless it went down to my feet and just had a hole for my face to stick out!
My parents have been trying to give me an umbrella for years. They keep turning inside out in the wind. I don’t think they get it.
I mean, it’s a cool umbrella, but still, they’re pointless for me!
A sprained wrist. From my husband because he didn’t like my opinions.
As far as actual gifts go, I’m awaiting the mail delivery of Eraserhead. Also from my husband. I wanted it, so it’s not a bizarre choice, but Eraserhead in itself is quite bizarre.
Do we need to head to Japan to kick some ass, acrossthesea?
I got a George Forman Grill from my parents.
Wierd, but i’ve always expressed a strange kind of fascination with them, so i can see where they were coming from.
I got a dragon this past christmas, actually. Indeed, it was my only gift (and it was from my Mum). It’s like this crystal block, and somehow in a way i can’t figure out, the dragon has been carved on its interior.
It doesn’t do anything, it just sits there looking out of place. But it’s kind of nice.
Grapefruit TicTacs.
We were pretty broke that year…
A very nice gift : the Sonicare toothbrush.
Doesn’t sound bizzare until you put it in your mouth and press the button.
ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiouaouaouaouzzzziiiiiiiiii tickle tickle * tickle * zzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiouaaaaaouuuuuaaaazzziiiiii
weird.
A lint-collector – one of those sticky paper rollers.
This was from the same people who got my wife this odd spice container that we still haven’t figured out yet what it is for or how to use it. They always come up with very odd gifts, but definitely original.
No thanks, they’re shipping us back across the sea pretty soon, where there are many people I know who have offered to do that. : )
Maybe this friend has kids (or has seen kids) who love playing with the pretty buttons on the remote, and figured that a non-programmed remote would be fun. Kind of like getting a little kid their own set of (plastic) “keys” in hopes that they won’t take Mommy or Daddy’s keys.
My future brother-in-law gave me earrings made from genuine mink penis. He was sort of worried that I wouldn’t find them funny, but I about died laughing when I opened the gift.
You can see a picture of similar earrings here.
Years ago, I openned up a pretty package to find…
a real honest-to-goodness human skull, (from a medical supply catalogue). Wow. I loved it. still have it. When I go out to an SCA barbarian encampment I set it atop my banner-pole and people start to stare at it, then they realize it’s REAL. Even the big, bearded, tough guys get squeamish.
When my first husband and I were dating, our first Christmas together, he gave me a plastic silverware drawer separator. It was wrapped with a big bow.
In his defense, I had just moved into a new apartment and I didn’t have one. He was very proud of himself.
The next year we had gotten married and he bought me a water purifier. After I gave birth to our son, I had explained to him that it is a nice gesture for a husband to give his wife a small token of appreciation for all of her hard work. Given his track record with gifts, I sometimes had to prompt.
He bought me a ski jacket, actually brought it to the hospital with a big bow on it. I should have beeen specific, flowers would have been nice.
My second husband feels very lucky, he has no where to go but up!!
I got a replica viking helmet this Christmas.
My wife’s old bitty aunts give me the best presents each year, well best in the sense that they provide the best stories. From them I have received
a Commemerative Wooden Car and wallet set (no idea what it was commemerating, but I didn’t get the wallet anyway, just the wooden car with 1 broken wheel and one missing wheel. I like toys, and this was the reason for the gift.I told them “Thanks for the kindling!”
A rusty old penknife with a broken blade, and a pitted blade (because I like antiques)
A woman’s blouse with lace collar (wrong size). Needless tosay I am NOT a woman.
A number of really bad t-shirts, like “The Chickadee Maine’s state bird”, or “Maine black flies don’t bite, they suck!” and other fine clothing.
The one year they actually spent money on me they bought me one of those hideous LLadro statues. $300 down the drain, thank god for eBay!
Not a Christmas present but a wedding present from my Grandma was an old lense cleaning cloth, a used piece of marking crayon and a single cloth placemat all of which she pulled out of her kitchen drawer as she was saying farewell to my husband and I and wrapped in cling film, then gave to us as a wedding gift.
Not really strange, but I got coffee for christmas. Five pounds of it, from various sources, a coffee grinder, a thermos and various other coffee-related stuff.
I don’t know what it is about coffee, as I’m a student and really need things like books. Even though I give them accurate titles, my family opts for the coffee. Well, it’s nice anyway.
The strangest gift I gave away, on the other hand, was for my mother: A pincushion resembling our current prime minister (“now with VOODOO action!”). It’s not mean-spirited at all, actually kind of cute. She did get the joke, thankfully.