I got a Light Up Frog Ring.
Aren’t you jealous?
Sure beats the hell out of the two bottles of green Tabasco sauce I got. There were three, but apparently one of them broke.
Yes. Yes, I am.
Creme Brulee Cheeseball and Dessert Mix. It took me a while to even figure out how those words fit together. In my world, a cheese ball is a horrific orange thing from Swiss Colony and not sweet at all. My stepdad was equally mystified, and thus it ended up in my stocking.
I got this doll ornament thing from my mother. It’s about 6 inches high and made of glass and she’s dressed in a pink glitter catsuit with a leopard skin jacket and black sparkly oversized sunglasses. She has a fancy shopping bag and a little yappy dog, and mom’s note said that it reminded her of me. I’m 49 and look like an old(er) hippie when I’m not in professional work clothes. 
I think she’s finally losing her mind or has me mixed up with someone else.
Dad gave me an alarm clock.
Granted, he also gave me a big stack of miscellaneous books he picked up at the library book sale, so overall he wins. But still. I have at no point expressed any desire nor need for a new alarm clock. There’s absolutely nothing special about it, it’s just a standard, digital, goes ‘beep beep beep beep’ at the designated time alarm clock. I guess it’s the thought that counts, but I have no idea what the thought was.
I got a rock.
My mother-in-law has this new mania for “natural” cooking and believes that garlic is much more tasty and nutritious if you bash it with a rock instead of mincing it with a knife or putting it through a garlic press. So she went on a “nature walk” and got me a rock. She wrapped it in tissue paper and put it in a foil gift bag.
I got a rock.
Playboy Cologne.
From my Grandmother. 
Perhaps you should change your handle to “Charlie Brown”
A fondue pot. No seriously, I really did.
My grandmother got me a bicycle light. I haven’t ridden a bicycle in at least six years, and have no plans to ride one in the near future. I have never mentioned being interested in bikes to her. I don’t know where she got this.
A portable pedicure set. Without the batteries.
Last year’s weird present was a shoe horn, I sense a trend.
I got a flying alarm clock.
It has a propeller on top. When the alarm goes off, the propeller takes off and flies around the room before falling to the floor in an unpredictable location. To silence the alarm it is necessary to get out of bed, find the propeller and reattach it to the base unit.
You can have it, if you like.
Yum, I LOVE green tabasco. That’s a great gift!
My sister the regifter gave me a little clock/timer/temp thing that needs batteries. I have a big clock/temperature gadget that I love. I don’t need or want another.
Rock on, Sigma!
Sorry. I got nothing to add. I like all my presents.
I got a pepto-bismol-pink sleep shirt with absurdly cute cartoon kitties all over it from my sister. The kitties are playing with ornaments and batting at presents and wreaths, so it’s very Christmas-specific too. I’m not a terribly pink person, don’t own a cat, and am usually ready to skip Christmas along about Dec 10th.
Ah. It’s on this page.
It’s actually quite comfy.
This wins. *Holy shit *does this win. This is better than the jar of rocks I got from my sister. You know the kind you put on a charger to make your candle garden look cool? Except I didn’t get the charger or candles with it. Just the rocks.
Nope…yours just fucking ROCKS.
I’m jealous - I want one! I think you win; this is even better than the rock.
That propeller alarm clock sounds so cool!
I like all my gifts and I didn’t get anything weird, darned.