What was the one defining event in your life?

In My Humble Opinion
21

When my sister went off to college. We were in high school together for one year when I was a frosh and she was a senior. She’s a great singer and was known for it, so I was very much in her shadow and often referred to as ‘little Lana’ which wasn’t fun.

Then she goes off to college and throughout 10th grade I became a stronger and more confident singer, I came out of my shell personality-wise a bit, and developed a better relationship with my parents.

I often think of 9th grade as being dark and dreary and 10th grade as being very happy, light, and Spring-like.

22

The ONE defining event in my life, huh?

Tough questions are the best questions.

I could pick the moment I decided that these feelings I had for other men menat something and I started down the road to coming out.

I could pick the moment that I realized that a high school education wasn’t going to cut it and decided to go back to school and get my college degree.

I could pick the moment I decided to move out of the house and cut loose from my parents.

I could pick the moment that I chucked it and made a career change at half the pay and twice the hours.

But, THE moment for me, really, was my tenth high school reunion back in 1989. I travelled 650 miles to get there. I had built expectation to a high, fever pitch. I was looking forward to seeing old friends and impressing the hell out of them (oh, how arrogant I was at 28…)

The evening was nice. It was an OK time. But what I came away with after that evening, and thought about all 650 miles home the next day, was how YESTERDAY the past really is. We were all completely different people at 28 than we had been at 18. My expectations about the event were far overblown, far too grandiose and far too arrogant.

It was a nice party for 300 or so classmates - some of whom hadn’t seen each other in ten years. That’s all. We didn’t rekindle past glories, we didn’t fall madly back in love with old flames, nothing.

That one night taught me to live in the moment and always look forward with hope, never backward with longing and regret. That one night has shaped how I’ve looked at the rest of my life since.

So, in reality, it was a very significant evening. Just not in the way I had originally thought.

23

Becoming a United States Marine Sniper.

Being a Marine Sniper defined me for most of my adult life.

The Marine Corps simultaneously saved me and destroyed me,
it’s nice to be a plain old civilian now.

24

Its an easy question for me. The day I dedicated my life to the Lord. I’m not brain-washed, and I had to experience a lot of pain to decide I needed Him. With it, I became happier with the person I was and more secure with myself. I change the type of people I hung out with. I started becoming friends with other Christians who truly love me instead of the people in high school who just used me for a tutor. I went from someone with no self-esteem who was depressed to a happier person with confiedence in myself. Its been a great change :wink:

25

I don’t know that I can pick one, but if I did. . .the day my ex-boyfriend first IMd me. That started a life-long interest in role-playing games, helped me to get out of some bad situations, and, over three years later, led to the loss of my virginity. The relationship is over, and we’re still friends, though not very close. But meeting him, being his friend, going out with him, and having him break my heart definately defined a lot of who I am.

It’s either that or the first time someone recognized my writing as being good.

26

There have been too many to pick one. But you know’em when you eat’em.

27

I tend to believe that what, where and who I am now is the result of a nearly uncountable number of minute events, any of which could have sent me down a completely different path. The one moment that may well have resulted in the biggest difference from where I am now had it not happened was probably during my senior year of college. I had earlier changed my major from physics to history and had no idea what kind of career I’d go into. All of the people going to recruiting meetings for consulting firms and other similar businesses all looked like they knew exactly what was going on (I now know they were full of it, but back then I had zero confidence). I was feeling depressed and hopeless when one of my roommates happened to mention…

“You know, when I was studying in Japan, I saw a lot of places looking for teachers.”

Click.

28

Hmmmm,

I came home from work one day about a year and a half ago and sat down to read the The Universe in a Nutshell. I had hated my job for quite some time and decided my original honours business degree simply wasn’t going to lead me to where I wanted to be.

I then decided to go back to university and decided Physics is what interests me (where my reading the book comes in). I turned out to hate the subject (I DID leave the school in good standing though) but what it did do is help to steer me towards what I should be taking, film (specifically editing).

29

I’ve known I was gay seriously since I was about 24 (I assumed I was since about 14) and I said to myself that I would not be a 30 year old in the closet living a lie. It was just so hard to come out. 30 approached and I was still in the closet. My time was running out. I was determined to be the real me. It was killing me.

It is my 31st birthday on Thursday and I have been living with the love of my life for 5 months now (we were together for 4 months before that)… I am so proud of myself.

That was one of those moments!

30

It took me a while to realize just what it was, but I think I have it.

A little over a year ago, I was jacked up on Ectasy and going down a long, deep hole of depression. My wife told me to get off, or get out. I got off, got a good job, and now my life is so much better.

My wife is the greatest woman in the world.

31

Becoming an Army officer. Admittedly I was only in the reserves, and I’m out completely now, but man. Did I learn a lot about myself, how to handle stress, and how to treat people. Much more valuable than my college years.
Next would certainly be having kids. No doubt.

32

There’s no one defining moment. That would be to disregard everything that went before and since.

33

I’m still waiting for mine. Anytime now, Universe.

34

When I met my husband. (Not to sound nauseatingly cutesy or anything, but it’s true!) Pretty much every good thing that has happened in my life since is a result of him in some way (and it was pretty blah and crappy before then).

I finally got on some medication for my depression (after four years of monthly hell) because he encouraged me to talk to my doctor about it. We were both tired of the random crying fits and emotional roller coaster ride.

I got a good paying job with great benefits working with his mom, and have been working with her for over a year now. I don’t intend on staying here forever, but it’s better than anything I’ve had before.

His whole family encouraged me to go back to college, which I finally did this summer (and got an A+ in my first class :smiley: ). Mine was pretty lackadaisical about the whole thing.

Not to mention the marriage itself! And I only see things getting better from here, you know?

35

I think my defining moment was the day I decided that I was my own person, and left my ex-husband. We were highschool sweethearts and he wasn’t abusive a day until we moved in together 6 months before our wedding. I wasn’t allowed to work, I had no friends, I gained a pile of weight, he didn’t want to have kids (this he didn’t tell me until after we married).

I am now engaged to a wonderful, fun loving, sweet man. I have good job, nice house, new car.

Best of all, I have self-respect and know that I can do anything I set my mind on.

36

When I had a nervous breakdown in '96. Before then, life was normal and full and fast-forward. Since then, it’s been upside-down, screwed up and painful beyond belief. But, it’s taught me tons of things that I never had before… patience, more compassion, empathy, seeing more than one side to every story and realizing that but for the grace of God, go all of us. I’m still waiting for the second defining moment so that this one can now be marked “lesson learned in full.”

37

Joining the Army transformed me from a directionless slacker into a focused, disciplined professional. I also met a whole lot of people I have the highest respect for and would love to work with again.

I spent six years in college and don’t have a single friend from college, but I have many friends from the Army and a high opinion of almost everyone I worked with in the Army.

Still, it’s good to be out.

38

This one is humbling. I had a 6 year old warrent for a D.U.I. for marijuana in Dupage Co. Il. Chicago just never cared, and it didn’t go beyond the neiboring countys. Memorial day this year. Smee ol’lady, son and I are heading home from the store with three pounds of steaks, a thirty pack, and I was too cheap to buy the charcoal at the store we were at, I had to go to Jewel. Copper pulles us over at Archer and Western, the sticker on the plate was partially obscured. I tell the cop I have a warrent for traffic. He was a wise ass and training a rookie.

72 hours in solitary, fed three times, (bolonga and bread) no smokes, no ass wipe, ICE COLD, didn’t know when I was getting out. Smee rethought my life. Getting booked into cook Co. was heaven…

Advice: Never carry a warrent.
:smack: