I’ve noticed a recent rash of ‘describe who you are’-esque threads (or perhaps I’m hallucinating, but humor the sleepy, 'kay?) In honor of that, I was thinking. Yeah, it takes something to get my brain started in the summer.
If you could look back at your life (which I hope you can), what would be the one event that had the most ‘you’ in it? Basically, what either made you into who you are right now OR most reflected who you are? Doesn’t need to be a set moment/hour/etc.
My example: As far as what made me what I am today, I’d have to say it was the day I earned my black belt. While there’s two other pasttimes that I’ve had for longer, violin and writing, neither have culminated in one thing: there has yet to be one performance, one essay that reflects all those years of work. August 18, 2001, five years of training condensed into a matter of hours. I don’t believe I’ve ever exerted myself the way I did that day (I was oblivious to the length at that time, but I later realized I was performing in front of my instructors for two hours, with 4 short water breaks). At the end of the day, when I was officially awarded the status of 1st dan, it was the most amazing feeling: I did this, not without the guidance of others, but I did this, I earned this. I supposed it was the first time I’d overcome that number of setbacks (tendonitis in both knees, concussions, financial trouble, school trouble, broken fingers, emotional burnout, etc) to do something that I truly had my heart set on. It made me feel worth something.
So…anyone else?
It’s hard to say. I converted to Orthodox Judaism after years of study and spent over 10 years as an Orthodox Jew so it’s hard to say that that is not the defining event of my life. Then again, I’m starting to regret it, so what does that mean? However, overall I suspect that my entire life will be defined by it so that must be it.
Like anyone, I can look back over my life and say why did I/why didn’t I, oh of only this had/hadn’t happened.
However, there are a couple of things that very clearly made, as Robert Frost would say, all the difference.
I don’t want to talk about them. One was when I was very young (grade school), and there was probably nothing I could have done to defend myself. The other was when I was a teenager, trying to please my parents and do what they wanted me to do.
Had those two things not happened, I may have missed out on a few things and maybe it would be sad to miss those things, but the misery just wasn’t worth it.
But one life is all you get, and you have to deal with the life you get.
Teaching myself binary logic and digital design in the 10[sup]th[/sup] grade. This probably steered all subsequent career choices for the rest of my life.
Renting a decent apartment a few years after moving out of home was fantastic. Living in a nice place was a lot of fun. But more important was the room mate who moved in a few months later. She and I became lovers within 24 hours and it was my adoration of her that made me to realize how a proper life plan was mandatory if I ever wished to have a wife.
Without coming to that one single understanding, my life and most of its achievements might never have happened.
I have two that I can think of, my very first STUDLY moment and my very first REBELIOUS moment here they are respectively:
First studly moment: I think I was in like the second or third grade when our school took us on a field trip to a local museum. That day we were instucted to bring a sack lunch so we could eat it outside the museum. Well anyway when it came time to eat lunch the teacher took us outside to eat; she started pairing us off in groups of four. I got stuck with three girls, to say the least I was not happy at the time. So I start unpacking my lunch which consisted of a sandwhich, a bag of chips and a can of soda. Now back around this time is when the soda industry was switching from the old pull tab cans to the ones we have now. Anyway I go to pull the damn tab and it breaks off half way through the opening of the can, so I proceeded to open it the rest of the way up by putting my thumb on it and pressing down, but before I could do that the three girls I was sitting with start to gasp “DON’T DO THAT YOU’RE GONNA CUT YOUR THUMB!” To which I merely shruged “eh… whatever” so when I pushed my thumb through it made that noise that we’re all familiar with I’m sure, “phssst!” at which this point the girls all responded in unison with a “aaacckkk!” Thats when I slowly removed my thumb from the can and showed it to them without a mark on it, to which they then responded with a “ooooo!”
Yep, folks it was at that point I knew I was gonna be popular with the ladies!
My first rebelious moment: This was when I was even younger. When I was a kid I used to ride around in my apartment complex on my BIG WHEEL (remember those?) but there was one building I would ALWAYS avoid riding around becuase if you did this old lady would come out and tell you to stay the hell away from her building. I used to be deathly afraid of this woman and avoided her at all cost… That was untill the day my mom got me a GREEN MACHINE! Now for those of you who don’t know, the GREEN MACHINE is like the best of the best in BIG WHEELS it comes complete with a hand brake that allows you to do 180’s in them. Anyway when my mom got me this GREEN MACHINE I felt like I got a new set of balls. So I took it upon myself to start riding around that lady’s building that I had been so afraid of before. Sure enough she came out there and started screaming at me at the top of her lungs “DAMMIT I TOLD YOU KIDS NOT TO BE RIDING AROUND HERE” thats when I took my new found moxie and started riding right towards her full blast, then, right before I got right up to her, I pulled my hand brake and did a 180 right in front of her and then I sped away as fast as I could giving her the finger the whole way!
It was at that point I knew I was destin to be a rebel!
He’s taught me so much about living well that I will be forever grateful. I was rapidly becoming a fast-paced, hard, negative harpy before I met him. He’s helped me slow down and enjoy the finer parts of life.
Two years ago on my 17th Birthday, I caved into peer pressure and landed in hospital for three days. Those were the worst three days of my life. I can’t imagine the hell I put my parents through, but they were always there for me. What did I learn? Hold your own under pressure from peers, choose your friends carefully and knowing and understanding that my family will always be there for me as I will for them.
Probably the day I finally (after 2 months of asking) agreed to date my now ex boyfriend. He showed me what a great person I was, and gave me a confidence boost. He was, and still is the only man I have ever loved.
2 days before my 21st birthday I found out I was pregnant.
I wasn’t married, in college, had a menial job and knew my parents were going to kill me.
I was raised in a very strict, religious home and my parents expected a lot from me.
I told them. Dropped out of school. Got a job. Married the guy (which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life and I divorced him 18 months later). Had my son and moved on with my life.
Jump 6 years down the road. I am remarried to quite possibly the best man in the world. My son is an absolute joy in my life and I would be lost without him. I am closer to my parents than I ever have been. I have a successful career, a beautiful home, good and loyal friends, a second son and we are all healthy.
I couldn’t ask for much more and I am blessed with far more than I deserve.
But, I can honestly say that judging how my life was going at the time I found out I was pregant, that was just the brick wall I needed to run head first into to shake things up and get back on track. I don’t think things would have turned out as great as they are now if I hadn’t grown up.
Well I am not that old but I would have to say when I was Diagnosed with Psoriasis at that point in my life I was a returning state champion in wrestling and an all-american football player but after that I lost intrest in athletics at that level. I still enjoy the two sports but they’er no longer the foces of my life. I spent more time as a volenteer for children that have genetic diseases like mine and working with support groups.