The first two lines make it a great feghoot. The second two don’t work, since the depend on a made-up word (which is likely it appeared in F&SF and not Asimov’s: George Scithers, who revived the form, was a stickler for form).
Nun in a blender.
(Raised Catholic)
What do you call a girl with one leg?
Eileen.
Asian girl with one leg?
Irene
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?
Bob
Since you started it:
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs
on the doorstep? Matt
on a tree branch? Barry
in the leaves? Russel
on the wall? Art
What do you call a girl with no arms or legs in the rapids? Flo
What do you call a guy with three eyes, two noses, four arms, and no ears?
anything you like he can’t hear you
The Aristocrats.
I have been reading the Harry Potter books since approximately when the Goblet of Fire came out.
Diagon Alley I of course got immediately.
I just now, this instant, got Knockturn Alley upon reading furryman’s post. Knockturn Alley. Nocturnally. :smack:
I am literally sitting here with my mouth hanging open. How abysmally stupid am I that I just now put this together? How did I not figure it out? I figured it was some kind of subtle play on words or allusion because most of her stuff is if you look hard enough, but never knew exactly what. Until now. Wow. Just WOW.
I had a sweet little three-year-old girl do that to me. She didn’t do it on purpose. I had been teaching her simple jokes, including knock-knocks, the last time we had met and she came running up, excited to start again. She was a little annoyed that I didn’t have the rest of the joke, but was pleased when it busted up the whole room.
My favorite joke from the Jungle Cruise - And over by the waterfall you can see three toucans. You know what three toucans make, don’t you? A six-pack.
What do you call a baseball player with no arms or legs? Third base.
A baby seal walks into a club.
OK, I honestly don’t get this one. Would you please explain?
He can’t do anything besides lay there. So they use him as a base. Third, in this instance.
Got it. Thanks.
The way I heard it was:
Can Johnny come out to play?
You know Johnny has no arms or legs.
Yes, we know, but we need him for second base.
Finally a chance to use this.
Two guys walk into a bar and pull up a stool. Bartender says to the first guy, what can a get you? He says he’s feeling like a cocktail today and orders a White Russian. Comin’ up. She gets the glass, puts in the vodka and the Kaluah, and she whips one of her tits out of her top and squirts it into the drink, drops a swizzler and sets it in front of him. How 'bout you, hun, she says. Looking sideways at the White Russian, he says, well I was gonna have a Bloody Mary, but I guess I’ll just have a Bud Light.
Can Johnny come out to play?
No, boys, you know he has leprosy and can’t come out to play.
OK, can we come in and watch him rot?
Εὐριπίδης ?
Εὐμενίδες !
Why does a duck walk softly?
Because it can’t walk hardly.