Not if you’re wearing a pendant.
Well, I seem to have dug up a hit in this thread. Thanks for all the laffs everyone. I’m glad y’all are having fun.
The formula for the area of a circular pizza is … wait for it … pi R^2. 
If you look at the OP’s spec for “6-8 inch” pizza in light of that formula, it takes 77% more dough to make an 8" than a 6" of the same thickness. Seventy Seven percent. Which makes the OP’s frantic pursuit of precision even funnier. e.g If it takes exactly 4.00 oz of dough to make a 6" of their desired thickness it’ll take 4.00 * 1.77 = 7.08 oz of dough to make their desired 8". So lets cut the dough very precisely somewhere between 4 and 7+ ounces.
I LOLed over @gnoitall’s picograms.
In my business we have a saying that seems to apply at least partly to pizzas: “Measure it with a micrometer, mark it with a crayon, cut it with an axe”. Seems like the OP wants a micrometer all the way through. I suppose you could axe a ~1# pizza dough ball into 4 kinda similar lumps easily enough and I bet they’d each still make a decent pizza.
That was a pretty cold thing that happened to your post. It’s 100% appropriate you’d be pissed. I was pissed on your behalf even before you snapped at them.
I love it.
You have it backwards. They’re the reason why burrito wrappers explicitly say to do that.
I gave my husband a brief summary of the thread, and read that line to him. He enjoyed it, too.
My AI answer (unposted) was also fairly useful. It’s funny because he used advice from the first two responses and said “this worked out great!” even though the advice was pretty general and the pizza had no tomatoes.
It reminds me a bit of my son hiding and screaming hysterically over getting a flu shot. Then the next week, when I took him he got the shot and said “was that it?”. On his own, he’s convinced it’s a problem, with a little nudge it’s totally fine.
Yes. A pizza doesn’t need a recipe. Once you have dough and a sauce, the “recipe” part is done. And if you have premade pizza and sauce, no recipe is needed. You just need an idea of how long to cook it at what temperature, and if you’re really concerned about that, just check on it a few minutes early and make sure it’s not overcooked. You know how cooked pizza should be if you’ve ever eaten pizza before.
How much sauce? Whatever you want. What toppings? Whatever you want. How much of those toppings? Whatever you want.
It’s like seeking a recipe for a sandwich. If you want to make a specific style of sandwich, okay, I get that, but if you’re literally just looking for a recipe for “a sandwich”, the recipe is “two pieces of any kind of bread and some shit you want to eat between the bread, or even just one piece of bread with shit on it to be open-faced”. Just as pizza is “dough with whatever shit you want on it”.
It’s amazing that a thread went so long going back and forth. I swear though, in the professional world, I’ve seen this play out. Something stupid like “should it be light purple or dark purple” can be hours of meetings. That’s a human problem.
Psst everybody!! Check out post 88!
OK. I think I finally put things to rest using math. Let’s see.
No kidding. My daughter once came home after school, grabbed a bag of flour, poured out some eyeballed amount, mixed it with water, a little oil, salt, and a packet of yeast, stretched it out onto a floured pan, found some spaghetti sauce and potential toppings in the kitchen, and put it in the oven. Perfect pizza with no experience and no measuring whatsoever.
I can only think of two ways to screw up a pizza.
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Put something inedible on it.
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Burn it.
If you don’t do either one, it will be fine. If it’s undercooked, cook it some more.
I’ll add a + 1 for hugs after trying and being ghosted by the main arguers of the thread. I bowed out after giving my opinions and endorsing the need to get to room temp before working, because I’m not big on pizza (understatement) and didn’t want to get into mass vs surface area math.
And of course, as you mentioned in a different Youtube based cooking thread, we have different tastes! I heartily endorse you avoiding capsicums if they make you even slightly ill.
Cooking doesn’t have to be complicated to be good, though if you want to make it so, well, the Pizza thread is a textbook example of how to do it!
Yeah, that was a common “kids cook” dinner when my husband was teaching the kids to cook. And it always came out good.
They might have sometimes used this step. As they had trouble stretching the dough out thin, so it was always a thick crust that took a while to cook. Maybe they didn’t rest the crust long enough. It still tasted good. I think comparing it to making sandwiches is just about perfect.
I haven’t exactly ruined pizza, but I’ve made soggy pizza more than once, just by putting too much sauce and toppings. I found it was hard to figure out the best amount.
That’s what I call a knife and fork pizza! I’ve done that before on purpose. It can be enjoyable in its own right, depending on your taste.
I used to do that when I was young (my teen years in particular) by taking a completely pre-made cheap frozen pizza, and adding a bunch of extra stuff. It’s impossible to pick up and eat, because there are so many toppings they will spill off, and as you said it can get too soggy, but I still liked it.
The pizza pros across the street made me one of those last night.
They use big dollops of ricotta that totally soak into their already kinda damp crust. Then they cook it hot so the wide perimeter crust is extremely stiff and the rest has the consistency of wet paper towel.
Tasty, but not pickable uppable.
And the most recent post has this quote:
What!? My request was answered three questions in! The personal pizzas (16 of them) have been made and eaten.
Like… What the fuck have you been going on about for post after post throughout the thread?! It almost seems like borderline trolling at this point. (I will give them the benefit of the doubt and assume this was a communication failure on their part, but still, holy fuck.)
That poster occasionally does the implausibly obtuse thing.
I can’t say if it’s a sincere blind spot or a game they sometimes play on us.
I feel used.
That did kinda take the air out of the fun. I wonder if we’ll get any kind of in-thread acknowledgement or contrition or … Or just uncomprehending blinking?
I think Hajario said something pointed