What will be Kerry's cliched characterization?

Most presidents and higher up politicians quickly gain a sort of cheap and easy characterization that makes it easy for SNL and Leno to make dumb jokes about them. For example, Reagan was a doddering old man, Al Gore was incredibly dull, and Dan Quayle possessed a child like demeanor and intellect.
Sometimes these cliches even change. Clinton started off as being an overweight good-ol-boy, but after Paula Jones and Lewinsky, he turned into a horn-dog. Bush started off as an ex-frat boy, but after that interview where he was asked about world leaders, was then characterized as being a big dummy.
Sometimes politicians don’t ever really get a cliche stuck to them. Bush Sr., outside of people repeating “wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture”, never really got labeled with some personality type. Also, Bob Dole, outside of people mentioning how he referred to himself in the third-person, never really got a label either.

What, if any, cliched label will get stuck to Kerry? Does he have one already?


When you look like a horse that wears a bad hairpiece, do you even need a cliche?

“Lurch” is one I’ve seen a lot of on Fark.

“Looks French”?

Flip-flopper seems to be the big one.

To a lesser extent, there’s the “gigolo” perception because he married a rich heiress.


Just noticed today that he licked his lips and stuck his tongue in the corner of his mouth quite a bit. It got to be pretty amusing. I’ll have to watch again to make sure it wasn’t a one time thing.

As for labels, yeah, flip-floppers about it.

I think he looks a lot like an elongated Jay Leno.

Oh god, yes. He’s like a lizard with that thing. Hubby and I were channel surfing and we passed some news station. “Urk, Kerry!” I cried as I fled the channel. But then we talked and admitted that we might actually consider rooting for Kerry come November, so we should listen to him.

But the tongue, it kept flicking out, occasionally with a gasping sort of slurpy noise. I could only take it for approximately two minutes before we had to flee again.

Isn’t “flip-flopper” just a shorthand for “someone who reasseses his views based on new information”?

(And it isn’t as if Bush has never flip-flopped, either…)

When he was campaigning in Philadelphia, somebody on the campaign staff thought it would be a great idea to get John Kerry out to a cheesesteak joint to show that he had the common touch.

Needless to say, it was a disaster.

First of all, nobody had briefed Kerry of what this food called a cheesesteak actually was, so when he got to the counter, he committed the cardinal sin of asking for Swiss cheese on his.

Kerry was lucky. The counter guy gently corrected him rather than eviscerating him like most newbies. The candidate then took his lunch to the counter, where he nibbled on it, gingerly, so he wouldn’t get grease on his expensive, starched, French-cuffed shirt.

He did not appear to be enjoying the experience.
Hell of a way to connect with the average voter, but there you g
And this, in a nutshell, is John Kerry. I’m certain he’ll happily offer you a beer if you visit him at home, but the beer will be carefully poured from the bottle into a clean Pilsner glass, and the bottle thrown away. You’ll likely never see the bottle. If you’re drinking tea, his pinkies will be sticking out.