The only one I use consistantly is probally, or prolly instead of probably.
My brother used to say key instead of kitty, and we always had roast beast in our house, and you got a drink when your were tirsty.
hang sangich - ham sandwich (but it has to be said in a really annoying nasal Cork accent)
jayziz - jesus
jee-Ay-ziz - jesus (when you want more emphasis)
bAss-tad - bastard (to be said quickly in very proper English accent)
shee-uh - sure (as in the sarcastic ‘sure, whatever’)
gee-rohss - something really gross (g as in gross not g as in geronimo - that goes for the next one too)
gee-lick - garlic (that one’s quite rude for any irish dopers who might get it - sorry)
I’ve been doing a “Canadian accent” for years and years now, before it even became popular due to South Park! You know, instead of “Could I have a pound of ground round,” I might say “Could I have a poand of groand roand?” Heheheheh. My friend and I started doing it in junior high school when this retarded teen soap opera was on Nickelodeon called “Fifteen.” It was filmed in Canada and all the kids used to talk like that.
I guess I also say “ornch juice” cuz of childhood crap. And my mom and I always “I’m cereal” instead of “I’m serious.” Yay!
I call chihuahuas Chi-who-wa-who-wa-s. A vet I worked with years ago pronounced it that way and it has stuck with me ever since.
Besides, it just sounds right when you look at how the word is actually spelled.
My family calls chihuahuas chi-who-ee-who-ee-s due to a mispronunciation on my part when I was learning how to read. I’ve never been able to figure out why I hadn’t read it your way, Greywolf.
Also due to an early reading error on my part (this one is even on tape, to my dismay), Winnie the Pooh will always be Winnie the Poo-HA.
My friends and I used to always pronounce all words exactly like they are spelled. It would get quite amusing at times. We always did this when we were around each other.
What is great is one night we went out to dinner and my friend ordered fettuccine alfredo and forgot to say it correctly. 
We all are from an area where we have really bad country accents, so I’m sure the waiter thought we were just dumb country folk who didn’t know any better.
impiously – granted, I don’t get a change to use this one often, but the “proper” pronunciation is something like “IMP-ee-us-lee”, which makes it sound as if it has something to do with imps. I prefer “im-PIE-us-lee”, which conveys tghe true sense of the word, relating it to “pious” and other derivatives, which are pronounced “PIE-us”.
primer – I see no reason why this word should be “properly” pronounced “primmer” when it refers to a teaching book , rather than “PRY-mer”, as for a foundation layer of paint. Again, my preferred pronunciation conveys the sense of a “priming book” (and all other variations of “prime” are pronounced with the long “I”).
I agree with [G]fra** about pronouncing “forte” as “for-tay”, rather than as “fort”. It helps distinguish the words. Besides, I’ve heard it pronounced “far-tay” all my life.
Lots of these, mostly inherited from my father:
Mustard = “moose turd”
Ketchup = “cat soup”
Hospital = “horse piddle”
Office = “orifice”
Tortellini = “turtle weenie”
Spatula = “spa-TOO-la”
Cranberry = “crazenberry”
Hors d’ouevres = “hours devours” or, alternately, “whore dee ovaries”
We also do “Chee-who-ah-who-ah” for Chihuahua, along with “Chai Chai ROD-dri-GUEZZ” for that famous golfer. These came from WKRP in Cincinnatti, though.
One that we developed in my family, i think because one of us kids started it as a young age: Fruit Noops instead of Fruit Loops. Sometimes we just call them Noops now.
A friend and I were terrible about mispronunciation. We were able to thoroughly mutilate just about any word in the english language. One of my favorites, though was Por Favor - pronounced just as it looks, without any accent. The other trend we started was to take words ending in “les”, like bicycles, icicles, etc… and pronounce them as though they were greek names. For example, Bicycles (pronounced like Socrates) was an ancient greek transportation expert.
My daughter used to pronounce “ketchup” as “keep-up”. We still call it that occasionally.
Oh, and she used to call cows “moo-dogs”.
Homosexual and heterosexual, the “sex” being lispy in each.
Used to crack my old girlfriend up.
My mother keeps these two alive from my baby-talk days:
mazagine - magazine
hang-a-bur - hamburger
door doze - Doritos
My dad (who does not speak French) uses these to annoy my mother and I when we are yammering on and on en français:
mercy buckets - merci beaucoup
all the river - au revoir
Forte. I say “for-tay” just like everyone else instead of the proper “fort”. Folks, when the rest of the English speaking world says “for-tay”, it’s time to pretend that the accent-egue really is in there.
Upon review, it looks like rsa beat me to it.
high five
Does anyone else pronounce Target (as in the store) as “Tar-jay”? I picked that up from a friend, and I’ve met several other people who do it to.
My car is a Pontiac Parisienne, and a guy in my high school once pronounced it “Para-see-EN-ey” rather than the correct “Pa-REE-zhen”. So I use that occasionally.
Another high school friend had to read something by Sophocles in 9th grade English, and he insisted on pronouncing it “SO-fo-culs” (rhymes with “bifocals”). That one still cracks me up; it’s unfortunate that most people don’t have the opportunity to say “Sophocles” in everyday conversation, or I would use it more often.
-Andrew L
My father does a number of words - and then grins inanely when he uses them.
I’ve never found it cute or funny, more jarring, less than fingernails on chalkboard but in that category of sounds…
I guess I’m weird.
Sounds like something Thindy Brady would say.
Mom, I thaw Greg and he was Thmoking!
Debris.
Everyone in my family mispronounces debris intentionally, ever since going to see fireworks on the Forth of July about eight years ago, when this crazed woman with a glo-stick and police tape insisted we move our blankets back about two and a half feet, on account of the possibility of being horribly disfigured by falling debris.
quote:
Originally posted by Dinsdale
Intentionally mispronouce words?
**In-con-THEIVE-a-ble! **
I took **In-con-THEIVE-a-ble! ** to be a Princess Bride reference!
In our house when we are really really hungry we say we are fah-MISHED (famished). That’s the only one I can think of right now because I just got home from work and I am fah-MISHED! Gotta get cookin’!
I pronounce quesadilla how it looks - like kwase-uh-deal-ya
And fajitas are fuh-jittas, a’la my father, who actually ordered fuh-jittas in a restaurant one day.