Actually, Crank, I’d forgotten about ‘jacking’. I thought you were going to offer ‘yopu’. A ‘yopu’ is an inadvertent double-post, as might occur when your ISP seems to hang when you post, so you stop and resend, only to find you posted twice.
My family has loads, but I can only recall a few.
Taken from my Irish mother, we are prone to saying “are we away?” rather than “are we leaving?”
A friend once looked at me oddly, when my brother said"Nope, Max (the cat) is PNG." Max had made some cat-like error and was persona non grata… which in our family can be abbreviated with most people understanding!
Something that requires effort but is totally pointless is
“a waste of ass !”
My family has loads, but I can only recall a few.
Taken from my Irish mother, we are prone to saying “are we away?” rather than “are we leaving?”
A friend once looked at me oddly, when my brother said"Nope, Max (the cat) is PNG." Max had made some cat-like error and was persona non grata… which in our family can be abbreviated with most people understanding!
Re: “hork”
Bob and Doug Mackenzie used this in “Strnge Brew” as a synonym for “steal”…
B: Someone horked our clothes!
D: Who’d wanna hork our clothes?
I’ve been using it as an all-purpose adverb/adjective for years…Big horkin’ dog, etc
I SWEAR my pals and I invented “cool beans” back in high school…
“Wubish” as a term for TV remote control…that’s what it sounded like…
Nope. My aunt says it all the time, it drives me completely crazy, and everytime she says it I wish that murder was legal, if only for a minute. No, I’m not crazy. I just appear that way to most sane people.
*Barney:[\i] An unspeakably stupid or simple question. This came from a night of Trivial Pursuit where the winning question was “Who was Fred Flintstone’s best friend?” Think of the $100 Millionaire questions…Barneys.
Also, I teach computer classes. Among other things, I teach web design classes (HTML, FrontPage, etc.) As I tell students:
The term “webmaster” is a bit too gender-specific. “Webmistress” has entirely the wrong connotation. I therefore humbly offer to female web administrators the term “Webdiva” Use it with my blessing, but please credit me.
I may have coined the term fugly. It’s a shortened version of f***ing ugly. Or I may have heard it somewhere. In any case, my friends attribute it to me, and we all have to use far more than we’d like.
I also used to say noon o’clock and midnight o’clock when I was a kid. And if it was half past the hour, I’d say noonthirty, or midnightthirty.
I took Polka Dot Door waaaaaaay to literally…
re: fugly
Don’t know if you made it up, but I heard that one starting around 1978 or so…
There’s even this stupid + offensive website that has pictures of so called fugly people.
I work in an animal hospital, and things can get pretty messy at times. Many animals hospitalized suffer with vomiting and/or diarrhea. Many are kept on a high rate of intavenous fluids in order to keep them hydrated. Sometimes we can tell when an animal needs to go out, and we can take them into the yard before they make a mess in their cage. More often than not, however, an animal will have blow out diarrhea or projectile vomiting with no warning whatsoever. What’s worse is when an animal is so debilitated that it can’t get up, and it messes all over itself. Cat, small dog, OK, no problem, it’s a pain, but you can clean them up rather easily. Unfortunately, it seems that most of the patients that can’t walk are 120 pound, mean dogs. Fat, mean, and covered in poop. Imagine having a ward FULL of such patients. It is enough to make a person want to scream.
Anyway, one night I was alone in ICU, struggling to take care of 10 or 12 deathly ill pets. Everyone was either vomiting, having diarrhea, urinating, or pulling out their IV lines. I reached my breaking point and began to rant to an intern that had unfortunately chosen that moment to walk in. I yelled about how I was unable to give my patients proper care because I was too damn busy cleaning up “piss, shit, and vomit.” In my rant, I repeated that phrase several times. Now, whenever we have a bad night at the clinic, we call it a piss, shit and vomit night.
Bet you all are running out to become veterinary nurses now, aren’t you??
Back In the mists of time that was high school my group of friends and I came up with the work “Hoage”, which is defined as to dine well, on good food, on someone else’s dime. In other words, mooch. However, over the years, it has evolved to mean just to dine well on lots of good food.
Hoage- remember it , Use it, Wear it out
That explains my posts!!!
Sunshine: “Eat My Clock!” reminds me of one of many many many phrases my friend has coined: “Suck my hat!”
Gunslinger: IIRC, etymology is word origins, and entomology is studying bugs. Also, it’s slightly OT, but if anyone has an etymology dictionary, look up the word “porcelain” and you will be…surprised. 
Dante: My brother also “invented” the term “fugly.” It had the same meaning - “f**king ugly.” He also sometimes pronounces it “FOO·guh·lie”. Don’t ask me where it came from, but I guess he coined it.
I also used to know a guy on IRC who claims to have invented the word “z0r.” A lot of you probably haven’t heard it, because it’s lame 31337 5p33k, but z0r is a term appended to words to make them more…wierd. ie. “i will hax0r you. hehz0r”
As for words that I have coined myself, I only have two - dumbasstic (having qualities of a dumbass) and dumbassticity (level of how dumbasstic someone is.) I also once had a dream that contained the word “sintilixymus,” and it is one of my favorite words, but I have no idea what the hell it means.
I have bestowed on certain overbearing, holier-than-thou, stubbornly proselytizing religious types the title “His (or , less frequently, Her) Assholiness”.
I also created a couple of mindset terms in college:
When I got behind the wheel, and was relying on my friends for directions, I’d announce “lemming mode on”–implying that I was going to move straight ahead, avoiding obstacles, until they said, “Turn”, or until we fell into the ocean. “<X> is in silhouette mode” meant that <X> was about to start punching cartoon-style <X>-shaped holes in anything between him/her and whatever it was he/she wanted–usually food (my friends probably could and would take food away from a hungry wolverine).
Finally:
A friend of mine in college supplied this unforgettable statement of my support role in a mutual project (skip this if you have a very visual imagination): “I’m f***ing this chicken, you’re just holding the wings”.
So to combine two of your phrases:
“Well excuse me Your Assholiness, but I’m the one f***in’ this chicken, you’re just holdin’ the wings.”
I have GOT to remember that line, maybe I’ll make it my sig.
When my daughter was about 3 or 4 she was in the bathroom and yelled out “Mom…I’ve got dimeareena” which we have all used since because it just sounds better.
Also whenever we were on those dreaded car trips as kids we would always ask “How many more furthers Daddy?”
Darby
Whoa…now I have this image of a guy in ecclesiastical robes holding…never mind! Some things even I shouldn’t visualize. Make free with it, SarumanRex. If you ever get to use the whole line, try to snap a picture of the guy’s face–I want to see that. 
Skrick
The stains left on the sheets after a wild night of lovemaking. When you try to scrape it off with your fingernail so your mom doesn’t see it makes a sound “skrick, skrick, skrick”.
I coined the word “xeroxed” (no caps or TM) for “copied”.