In the 1970s a friend and I started saying ‘fuck a duck’ and ‘screw a pigeon.’ Later, I shortened it to just ‘fuck a duck.’
I have been surprised this year to hear it mentioned on a radio show and then again on a television movie!
“Oh fucking really.”
It can be used as a statement or a question. I think it’s mine, but I may have heard of it before.
Another one I like to use, that I also think of as ‘mine’ …“No, Hell no.”
My swear word for people is “Bucket.” As in
“You’re a real bucket.” Everyone at work uses it.
Whenever people start talking about other people’s
sexuality, I saw “Look, as long as he(she/it/you)
stays out of my boudoir, I don’t give a fuck who
he’s fucking.” I once literally put someone on
the floor laughing when I said this.
I think I made up “Shitpies!”. General interjection.
When my 6 year old daughter is moving slowly, I call her a snurtle—a combination of a snail and a turtle. I figure that has to be the slowest animal ever.
CSDD Common Sense Deficit Disorder
I don’t know if I actually invented it, or just heard it somewhere and adopted it as my own. In any case, I’ve come to love the word
SQUOOSHED
The ad in my brain goes something like this: “Squooshed. When squished just isn’t strong enough.”
Note: There may be something seriously wrong with me.
If you can see your daily commute on a 12-inch world globe,
you’re driving too far.
Byah: Used to agree sarcastically with some particularly stupid question or statement.
Example: Q: Why don’t we just leave the furniture here and cut the new carpet around it?
A: Byah (rolls eyes). (thanks to J. McFarlane for providing dumb example question.)
List of coined phrases I can recall…
“On the Cobb”, created after hearing “off the hook” WAY too many times. Meaning approximately the same.
“Roll to the East”, to indicate leaving a location for any other location.
“Punching the Monkey”, a euphamism for the consumption of crack cocaine (this is not, and should not be construed as, an endorsement of such behavior)
“Rollita”, to designate a particularly fine human of the female persuasion.
“Fat Clemsons”, actually coined by a friend, to indicate a giant hairy RED shoe. Fat Clemsons are always just a left shoe, they do not appear in pairs.
While at a Buckwheat Zydeco show I drunkenly mumbled " That Buckwheat plays a mean zydeccordion" That is my contribution to the English tongue.
Zydeccordion n. zi-duh-cor’-de-un An accordion played by a zydeco band.
A good friend and partner-in-crime (also a member of an, um, “alternative religion”) came up with hypochristian(sp?)–Christians who don’t practice what they preach. Ety…enta…word origion is obvious.
“We wore trenchoats because we were cold, dammit. If we’d wanted to do something like that, we’d do it so we couldn’t easily be identified.”–same friend, when we were dragged into the school cop’s office on 4-21-99 because we “fit the profile”
Well, I thought maybe ricepad would chime in on this one. I think he can be credited with this… we used to chat in a place where people would also fish for cybersex. Every so often out of boredom, he or one of the other men would switch handles and start acting female to lead someone one. We started to call this “lumberjacking” or “'jacking” after the Monty Python song (men in women’s clothing). I think we also used to say things like “I smell flannel” to carry the metaphor. ricepad was probably the first (in our group anyway) to introduce that terminology.
This isn’t coined, but a few phrases I’ve loved from others:
“That’s a LAFF riot! L-A-F-F Riot!”
“guaranfuckingtee” This last one was from a flight attendant I knew, getting philosophical after a plane crash: “I can gauranfuckingtee you passengers will be paying attention to my safety demo tomorrow.”
For some reason I picked up “nimrod” to mean idiot, but I’m not sure where. Apparently Nimrod is a great hunter in the bible, so I have no clue on the origin.
Recently my husband and I went to Walt Disney World, and I coined the term PIMERs: People Incapable of Moving to the End of the Row. It started at things like Muppets 3-D, where they TELL everyone to move to the end of the row, that every seat has a good view, and tons of people are trying to get seats, but there’s always a few “nimrods” who plop down right in the center of the row, forcing others to climb over them. Now it applies to anyone who ignores and/or is completely oblivious of rules or common courtesy.
Finally, I have dubbed our secretary “tanorexic” because no matter how tan she gets, she complains that she is as white as a grub.
I think my husband coined ‘spendy’, unless someone can tell me where the hell he got it from. (And if you can, I really wish you would, 'cause it bugs me off and on.)
Since I’m American and he’s English, we often find words that we each use where the other one hasn’t got a clue what’s meant by it. He uses ‘spendy’ to mean ‘expensive’, which I had never heard before and assumed was just another English-ism. Then I used it myself when speaking to an English friend, who said, “What?!? This isn’t the US, girl, talk English!” Hubby was most surprised to hear this; apparently he’s been saying it for years and thought it was common slang. So now I’ve been trying to track it down, but no one else seems to have heard it, except for those who’ve heard hubby say it. Thought it might be regional to Newcastle, where he’s from, but his mother never heard it, either. Perhaps Australia…? He lived there for a few years as a kid.
If no one else on the board has heard of it, I’m going to assume that he made it up and copyright it and gets lots of money. And then spend it all on spendy things.
Stompy
my friend says “confuzzled”, as in confused + puzzled.
My mom said that all the time: “Those shoes are WAY too spendy to be wearing outside.” Which is, I’m convinced, where the term “good shoes” came from.
I didn’t coin this word, but a friend of mine came up with the funniest word I have ever heard in my whole life and it sounds absolutely dirty but it isn’t. Anyways, here it is:
BUCKFUTTER!!
I told you it sounds dirty!
Swoonable [adj.]
Swoonful [adj.]
Swoon-worthy [adj.]
Uses
Swoonable: endearing and sexy. Something someone says that makes you swoon could be “swoonable,” i.e. “He said the most swoonable thing to me when we were saying goodnight” or “Isn’t that the most swoonable thing you ever heard?” Also used to describe the “sensitive” type man.
Swoonful: used to describe sensual objects or experiences, i.e. “That velvet top is swoonful to the touch” or “Her cheesecake is swoonful magic in the mouth.” Describes a physical object or something that can be experienced, “He is the most swoonful kisser I’ve ever laid lips on!” Also used to describe the “passionate” type man.
Swoon-worthy: like Elayne on Seinfeld, a man may be spongeworthy, but to be spongeworthy, he’d definitely have to be swoon-worthy! “Oh, yeah, sister, is he ever swoon-worthy!” Someone with both style and substance. Used to describe the “who-the-hell-cares-what-type-he-is-I-want-him” type man.
This reminds me of a truly filthy word that a female stand-up comedian invented to rip on Tonya Harding back when she was in the news: c***-capades. As in Nancy Kerrigan has joined the ice-capades and Tonya Harding has joined the c***-capades. I can’t speak for anyone else but I found it amusing. 
(Note to the moderator, if this word is deemed too offensive even in its censored form then just delete my post.)
{Card? Cane? Cost? Coco? Crud? Curd? No, I don’t see a need to censor. -slythe the Obtuse}