About 11 or 12 years ago, I coined the word ‘fuckchop’.
I was at school and someone had just smacked me in the back the head with one of their textbooks, so being the confrontational bag of rampaging testorone I was at that stage, I let out a nice loud “good on ya, fuckchop!”. There were no teachers in the class at the time.
I have no idea what a fuckchop is. I think it’s kind of like calling someone a dickhead or a wanker, but slightly meatier.
Is “digilliterate” taken already? You know; folks that just can’t master any computer application.
How about “technodolt”? (Same sort of thing but leaning a bit more toward the hardware side of any technology discipline.)
I may have coined these, but won’t really fuss if someone else screams, “HEY ASSHOLE, I DID USED 'EM FIRST!”
When I was a little girl I had a couple things I said that have stuck with me through the years…
Once when my mom was going into the store and was going to leave me in the car, I told her that I would be “as quiet as a snake with a sock on”!
We also use to travel to Charleston, SC a lot…and there was an area we would go through that smelled…as a child I didn’t recognize the smell as being that of a paper mill, so I told my mom that the “paperboy had been there”!
And now as an adult I have on occassions been known to tell individuals who have made me “upset” to “go jump in a creek w/ ankle weights on!” You see…I don’t want them to drown…just be miserable w/ wet feet!!
In a 1960s comic book (“Inferior Five”, I believe – an underappreciated DC comics humor mag) there’s a sign outside a heavily guarded cave that reads “Beware of the Gnarf.” It still fits with your definition.
And of course, the proper response when someone says, “thank you,” is to say:
“No welcome”
a combination of “no problem,” and “you’re welcome.”)
F**k a duck and screw a pidgeon.
Coined it many, many years ago and was surprised a few years back to hear it being used on a radio talk show!
I came up with “tripthud” a while ago. It comes from that deeply annoying practice in horror flicks of the girl running through the woods and making pretty good time until BAM! she falls over and twists her ankle. It can be used as a noun, verb or adjective. “Rahim is such a tripthud, I can’t believe he (fill in the stupid thing Rahim did.”
I also use “chikflik” as an adjective to describe something of unrelenting maudlin sentimentality.
I’m glad this thread was resurrected, because it gives me the opportunity to tell about one of Mrs. Red’s best coinages - “nonexistible.”
Myself, I’m not very good at inventing words, but I do take some pride in a phrase that (as far as I know) I coined, about overbroad application of zero tolerance (and other ideas idiotically taken way too far) - “substituting policies for thought.”
As a teenager I used “Cha” a lot for “Goodbye” It’s an abbreiviation of “Catch Ya Later” I also invented (I think) “Severiously”, halfway between severely and seriously. “If I’m late again I’ll be in severious trouble!”
Gotta couple new ones.
On Sunday we took the boys fishing. Our rather imaginative twelve year old insists he saw a dead chicken in the bush. I said it sounded 'Fictchickenal" to me! The last couple of days, we’ve also added “Fictchickus” as in “It is a fictchickus story!”
How about this one for the Barbeque Pit? “Toast Posties!”
My mother has been using that for almost 30 years. Great minds think alike. 
I thought I had coined hockey hair, back in the late 80s. I had never heard it before and said it because, even though mullets were the shit back then, it seemed very prevalent in our hockey team. Years later, I hear it every once in a while. I guess someone else thought of that, too. I can’t imagine I could have been the one to spread that one.
When my brother was about 8 or 9, he made up his own word: survultive, which was an adjective, but he never did give us it’s actual meaning. I think it was an all purpose word, like smurfy.
Shpuck - back in my heavily baked days, a friend and I headed to Hardware Hank to purchase some pipe fittings to make a home-made one-hitter (small towns lack head shops). We tried to find pipe pieces that’d snap together in a solid connection to suit our purpose. Due to the sound they made when snapped together, we started calling them shpucky pieces. “Yeah, they’ll just shpuck together, coool.” “No, not that one, it’s not a shpucky piece.” As further evidence of my state of mind during this shopping spree, I went up to a salesguy and asked (in slobbering lisps) “Exchush me shhir, couldsha shhow ush to the adheeshivesh shecshsion?” At the time, it was hilarious, in a been-up-all-night-now-everything’s-funny kinda way.
Spooble - I coined this years ago as an all-around word for nearly any situation. On IRC and MUDs I’ve used “Spoobles!” as a greeting, “Xixox SpOObLeS Soandso!” as a weird emote that everyone gets but can’t explain… and on the MUD I helped create, we changed the monetary system to Spoobles.
When I was in high school, oh back in '83 I think, a friend of mine got kicked out of his house one night. He ended up sleeping in a park. We referred to the incident as “he was not a happy camper”. Imagine our shock when a few years later that phrase was everywhere. Thankfully it’s faded from common usage.
Wi’í. Rhymes with ‘kitty’, only with the ts replaced with a glottal stop (British pronunciation of ‘bottle’, kind of like ‘ba-hul’). (I wish IPA were part of Unicode…) It’s an interjection, an adjective, and adverb, meaning anything the speaker wishes it to.
Crapulence as an interjection of disappointment.
Neus, pronounced exactly as ‘noise’. Comes from the German neu, ‘new’, and the English ‘noise’, and means a sudden, long-lasting, loud sound (like a fire alarm).
Flabulate, flabulated, flabulating - the act of fat jiggling.
Well, Numpty, of course.
Nostradumbass - “Oh you’re right, that’s sooo spooky”
Wet At The Knees - Used to describe a girl at work who becomes giggly when a half-decent bloke walks in the door.
Though now I come to think of it, there’s probably a forum somewhere dedicated to these terms.
I used the term “Armageddon in the oven” to describe these uncertain times we live in, now.
As in “I woke up tuesday to find Armageddon in the oven.”
Don't know why it popped into my head, but I thought it was cool. <g>I hate when people say “I resemble that remark.” They are attempting to mock the phrase “I resent that remark.” Therefore, I use the far better phrase “I represent that remark.” It’s a thousand times better and sounds a lot better. Come on people, say it with me “I represent that remark.”
I didn’t coin the phrase, I merely fixed it.
The word for when someone said something stupid and they quickly scramble to regain credibility to no avail…“felwell.”
rot-ectomy: The process of removing the rotten parts from potatoes prior to cooking them. There were two professional linguists on the canoe trip who were listening when I coined the term. They though it was funny.
There is a new neighborhood in Boston down by the Waterfront. It is post-industrial, they are trying to make it residential. Its official name is the South Boston Waterfront, but I am singlehandedly trying to get the entire Greater Boston Area to refer to it as SoBoWa. You know, like Tribeca or SoHo. Say it, its fun!