Mmmph! Sir, your implicit male-chauvinist equation of sex with commercial commodities strikes me as extremely . . .
Realistic.
In our society? Probably because women have become the locus of control when it comes to determining legitimacy. Since property and name was handed down by men to men, it becomes important to determine who’s child is who’s. They figured that the best way to do this was to restrict women to one male partner. Law can only go so far, and so social pressure formed to back it up. A families entire honor and shame began to rest on their young women’s sex lives. And so they really drum it in to girls that sex can ruin everything. It’s hard to really reconcile the idea that “sex is the ultimate shame and will send you to hell” before marriage with it being perfectly okay outside of marriage. So a lot of young women go in to sex afraid, confused, and uncomfortable with the whole idea. Even today a lot of young women have trouble making sense of the sexuality and becoming comfortable with their bodies.
In cultures where legitimacy is less important there is a lot less social control and pressure regarding women’s sexuality. We can see this now in our own culture.
Also, I think “sociobiology” is a load of BS that carries the same weight as folk emptomology. If society was different, we’d all come up with these really nifty “sociobilogical” explainations for why society is now this was instead of some other way. Indeed, it wouldn’t be much work to find an explaination for why women are more horny than men, or why fat people are worshipped, or why all of our gods are female. In the end it’s tautalogical. You start with the end, and you go back into history and pick out evidence willy nilly. Then you choose whatever explaination seems the neatest.
Anyway, thats my two cents.
I am not arguing this at all. Rape is about sex - it’s an assult where sex is the weapon. I just disagree that a high sex drive is what compells individuals to rape. I have an extremely high sex drive and I’ve never once had the urge to rape anyone.
It’s not -all- about dominance, sex is a part of rape. One of the reasons why rape is considered so much more offensive than general assult is because of the sexual component. We disagree on how big of a component sexual desire versus willing for dominance is. In Douglas’ books, when he breaks down the rapists into different catagories, sexual desires influence type of victims but not level or frequency. If you have a cite for people with higher sex drives being more willing to rape, I’d love to see it.
I’m female. I have as high a sex drive as any man I’ve encountered, and yes, that does include horny teenagers. I was also celibate until I was 26 and still won’t have sex outside a committed relationship. My old pal jay jay got it right. It’s not a lower sex drive; it’s higher standards.
Look, back when I was a virgin, there were nights I was so damned horny, I was incredibly tempted to go out, find a likely-looking man, and see what it was I was missing. When I was a teenager, I tried giving up masturbation for Lent. I didn’t succeed, even with the Sunday Loophole (Sundays are not counted towards the 40 days of Lent. If you don’t believe me, check your calendar).
Here’s what’s stopped me from racking up numbers which would make some of our horniest Dopers blush. First of all, even with reliable birth control, I can get pregnant. Second, I’ve use condoms, or, more accurately, had the gentleman I’m with use condoms a few times when other methods haven’t been available. In my experience, they do detract a bit from the mood and from the pleasure. I also know one gentleman whose girth really was too great for even the largest condom we could find. I know this because I witnessed it myself on more than one occaision. Third, speaking for myself alone, as I’m doing throughout this post, if I have sex with someone, it will change the relationship and I will form an emotional attachment. I’m not capable of a mere, impersonal fuck. Fourth, I’ve had enough drilled into me about the dangers of AIDS and other STDs drilled into my head I’d prefer not to have to worry about catching one. Yes, it’s a slight risk. Still, since it doesn’t unduly inconvenience me in and of itself, why risk it? Fifth, and perhaps most important, there’s a slight matter of those pesky moral standards I mentioned in the first paragraph.
Believe it or not, and I can see minds boggling as I type this, it really is possible to have a high sex drive and yet be celibate, or at least not have sex with other people. I’ve met men who’ve assumed that because I’m single and at a particular place, I must therefore be willing and available to have sex with them. One man I met briefly told me that because he saw me enthusiastically hugging an old and trusted friend, he assumed it was all right for him to put his hand on my thigh and head north, so to speak. We’d only just met, but I did correct his assumption. He later tried something similar on a friend of mine.
Gentlemen, I really do hate to break this to you, especially since some of you seem like very nice guys who I would like to meet in real life. It’s not that women aren’t as interested in sex as men; it’s that we’re not necessarily interested in sex with you, right now, when we’ve only just met or we don’t want the hassle that comes with sex. I can get pregnant; you can’t. If you and I have sex outside of marriage it’s me who may find myself walking into church pregnant and unmarried, the evidence of my immorality sticking way out in front of me, or face the abuse which comes with getting an abortion.
I love men; I love sex. Combine the two and you’ve got something which can’t be beat! If you don’t mind, though, I’d like to get to know you better first. Until then, if you’ll excuse my saying so, I’m afraid I’ll have to stick with beating off. 
With lust and affection to the men of the SDMB,
CJ
Well, roughly 15-30% of LTR and marriages are considered sexless, meaning they have sex less than once a month. A good deal of the time it is the man who loses interest in sex too, the woman is still interested but the guy is not. I have read this is such a major problem in Japan that the Japanese have started to create a male prostitution system.
Well, there you go. That’s just the difference. Now answer me this (which is the debate topic for this thread): What would the world be like if what you say above were not true, for you or for women in general? What if you (and women in general) had the same gotta-have-it-now, sex-with-a-stranger-is-way-better-than-nothing attitude men have?
If I didn’t have to worry about pregnancy, STIs or my partner having an unhealthy attachment to me afterwards, then I would be having a ton of sex. I might even stop random guys on the street and invite them back to my place. I have often fantasized about doing so.
There is an easier way to increase the amount of sex you get. Learn how to sexually please women and don’t deny their sexually. Mangaian boys are taught how to please women when they are old enough to have sex and it pays off. Magaian couples are said to have sex 2-3 times a night, every night.
Don’t deny their sexuality. And I don’t mean you personally, but in this culture as a whole.
You mean fictional Manga characters? Or is this some country or culture I never heard of?
And what would be the effect of that on society? (I mean, if not just you but women generally did that.)
If we only focus on women being able to have sex as indescrimantly as men, there would be a lot more sex. Women would be more sexually aggressive probably more demanding in their needs. On one hand, you would have a lot more willing sexual partners, on the other hand, they would be more demanding about what they want from you.
I think you are ultimately wondering what our society would be like if we were more like Bonobos.
Maybe without the incest. 
Bonobos are more sexual and less hostile than chimps. The reason for this lowered level of hosility, isn’t thought to be due to the oversexed females, but due to social structure.
As a member of the Church of the SubGenius, I’m familiar with bonobos. http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/X0084_Bonobos.html:
Part of becoming a man in the Manganese culture is having sex with a mature women. They do this right after puberty. They are the most sexually active culture in the world. The average amount of sex a person has is 8-10 times a week. In western civilization, you are taught to have love before sex, in Manganese culture, you are taught to have sex to lead to love. Western society is what has caused the womens lower sex drive, or at least the thought of it.
Sorry, I don’t have a cite for any of this. It was all something we talked about in my anthropology class.
Where does one sign-up to become a Bonobo?
One change of species form please!
Whatever the GD polite equivalent for “bollocks” is. I’m your counter-example; a variety of mates over the years have praised my ability to press women’s buttons as though I had downloaded the cheat codes. It hasn’t interfered with their determination to keep the frequency down. One of 'em even admitted that she resented my ability to get her red-hot and swinging from the chandelier when she hadn’t been in the mood in the first place. 2-3 times a night? :dubious: 2-3 times a month would be an improvement, at present; 2-3 times a week was the seldom-achieved crock of gold once upon a time.
I do. It’s just that the consequences of gotta-have-it-now, sex-with-a-stranger-is-way-better-than-nothing are different for men than women. After all, a hard core pro-lifer is a lot less likely to tell a man “If you don’t want kids, don’t have sex.” I wish it were otherwise.
CJ
But when the question of child support, where the child was conceived by deception or against the will of the father, comes up, the argument “If you don’t want kids, don’t have sex” gets trotted out faithfully; and I understand from previous discussions of this type that this is much the law’s position: your sperm, your 18 years of payments.
And regardless of what a hard core pro-lifer might say you, Siege, I believe you have *in practice *a lot more right to ignore it than the man has.
Well then you must have a bigger sex drive than I do because I think I’m an average male in that regard. I can tell you though that I would have had sex with most every girl in my high school if they were willing. Furthermore, I’m quite sure that I wasn’t alone among the male population at my high school school in that regard. Any half decent looking girl with the same sex drive as my fellow male students could have racked up quite a score.
Which leads me to the question,
How many sex partners have you had?
No need to answer as the question is intended to be rhetorical.