What Would Lore Have Done? Crystal Entity mini-rant (long).

If the following statements offend any of the people that actually like the placid homunculus that we have as a Lieutenant Commander (aka known as Data), I guess that would just be a crying shame. I have to say that having this freak representing the android race has caused me to rethink my general good opinion of androids. I mean, after all, leaving aside any “firstborn of Noonian Soong” questions, the awful fact remains that a whole lot of fucking Borg supported this being! Crap, the fact that he even gained a Starfleet commission is astonishing!

In any event, I was surfing around and found this site. Among the interesting things that I read was this:

So I have to ask; why did Starfleet promote this android? Did they really have no idea how earth-shatteringly stupid he is? Did they not realize that the people that he was going to surround himself with were likely to be evil, corrupt and set our intergalactic opinion back decades? Do people want to be represented on the world stage this plasticized piece of emotionless crybaby waste of positrons?

I like how you can flip back the hatch on his head and watch the green and red lights flash on and off.

I think more people would see your point if you made a few changes.

Replace the Crystalline Entity wth oh…The Obsidian Order.

Woud Lore demand genetic scanning of all Kardassian visitors?
 Did Federation aid to Kardassia during the Dominon War lead to the Order attackng Starfleet Headquarters?

Should the Federatin use subspace warheads against Kardassia?

 Should Dr Bashir be made Admiralin order to combine Starfleet inteligence and Section 31 into a more effective orgaization?

Well, I thought it was just right. Perhaps it was the slightly more geeky and obscure reference to the Crystalline Entity that made the whole thing more amusing than a transparent use of the Obsidian Order could have achieved.

Well, I think the CE carries baggage (Lore has allied with both the CE and the Borg against the Federation. CE may not be of malevolent intent. CE kills only in order to feed and survive etc.)
Using the Obsidian Order or the Tau Shiar makes for a better analogy IMHO. It would, again IMHO, make the OP clearer.

As it is, the OP is a marvellous piece of satire BUT I’m not sure most folks would get it. I think alot of Dopers view the OP and wonder why it isn’t in Cafe Society.

Howzabout- if ya do get it, post a further comment in the style of the OP. That way, we’ll know that you know without having to step out of character. EG Some people say that this would never have happened if Soong hadn’t given the Kardassians training and positon matrices in order to fight the Romulans. This is crap. The Kardassians hate the Federation. They would have just gotten things from the Klingons or the Ferengi.

More importantly, what would Brian Boitano have done?

Wait, I am confused here.

The guy is quoting something he found on another website (I cannot find it, but hey, whatever), so how is it a parody of anything?

After reading your content I can easily read a parody INTO it, but upon reading without your induced biased it just seems like another “Why the fuck are the ST writters so dense” post. . . .

Great, now I don’t know what reality to believe. ::sighs::

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=119119

Ah, gotcha, I originally thought of that thread one I saw this one’s title, but only to note how similar they sounded. :slight_smile:

I guess I am too much of a ST:Nerd, I was busy trying to piece together if the poster of the comment had their ST facts right, I mean a ton of things seem a bit outa place. :slight_smile: (like, err, heh. Lots. :slight_smile: )

Unfortunately been awhile since I have watched ST:TNG. . . . :frowning:

Yeah, Crystalline Entity was a poor choice, since we know exactly what Lore did: he allied himself with it and lured it to the planet Dr. Soong was working on so it could eat all the organic life there.

Doghouse Reilly,

This is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard. Maybe not fucked up but definitely ignorant. Who in the hell thought that the Crystaline Entity was gonna wreck an entire planet and kill the population?

How many “hints” or “leads” do you think Starfleet gets a day. I’m sure it numbers in the hundreds if not thousands.

Second, what in the hell could Data do? Was he supposed to attack every piece of glass that looked menacing? And what in the hell would have Lore done differently besides get all emotional about the situation?

You Star Trek extrapolators are seriously pissing me off talking shit about Data. He handled things I think better than anyone since Dr. Soong. Hint hint. He didn’t let anyone push him around, he didn’t just talk crap. He showed the universe what happens when intelligent shards of sand fuck with us.

What did Dr. Soong do when the Entity attacked 30 years ago? He ran away!

What did Lore do when at Wolf 359? He wasn’t even there. The coward couldn’t defend us in our time of need.

All Data did was look out for the Federation. And the damn extrapolators like you, Doghouse Reilly, are talking shit about the way he handled it. Probably the greatest tragedy Starfleet has ever had to endure (Holodeck malfunctions being a close second or even first). Data said what he was gonna do and did it to the best of his abilities, NOBODY could have done better, and in the hands of Lore I believe things would have been worse. People need to respect what Starfleet officers do for us and to at the very least give credit where credit is due. If not…GET THE FUCK OUT AND STAY OUT YOU DR. WHO BASTARDS!!!

Doghouse Reilly and Enderw24 are my new heroes.

Heh!

LOL, this is the best thread I’ve seen on these boards in the short few weeks I’ve been around. The OP and Enderw24’s response were both classics.

:smiley:

Esprix, Trek geek