That I have a sexually checkered past and that I’m so smart my husband’s parents call me the human encyclopedia behind my back.
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That I went through over three years of therapy for depression.
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That I currently take antidepressants.
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That my best friend and I are complete concert junkies, and travel hundreds of miles a year to see various artists perform. Yes, I am an Obsessive Fan, of more than one artist/group.
Mine also requires some background.
I am a large guy. Although I am only 5’8", I weigh over 200 lbs and can bench at least that. I have a shaved head and a full beard. I work outdoors, wear boots and jeans everyday, and have a vicious farmer’s tan. While I have never fought off hordes of trilobites armed only with my toothbrush, a youth full of physical altercations have left me with a quiet confidence that I can deal with most situations. Mrs. Gaffer finds it quite amusing that when we are out and about, people will generally step aside to let me pass. I dislike crowds so I typically scowl when we’re out which, I’m told, makes me look pretty damned pissed off.
That said, my secret is show tunes.
I love 'em. All of them. New, old, famous, panned, I love them all.
My favorite is South Pacific, although The Sound of Music is a close second.
The Little Gaffers continually tell me to not sing so loud when we watch them together.
That my bifurcated penis is intentional.
UB: You sure you don’t need to see a doctor about that?
::goes to look up bifurcarted in the dictionary::
*That I have multiple tattoos
*That I listen to heavy metal and thrash metal. Loud.
*That I have a kinky wild side
*That I really don’t like people
*That I am quite shy (not cold, as presumed)
*That despite being plump, I am very agile. I can do back bends and the splits.
I have been told that I look like a repressed librarian. HA!
So, UncleBeer, have you stopped beating your penis yet?
It’s possible to stop???:eek:
– That I DON’T like Star Trek.
– That I’m a big music geek/snob
I’d be pegged as more of a computer geek, and while i know a lot about them, even more than I do about music, and indeed make my living programming, I have, umm, social skills about computers and realize when people dont want to talk about them.
Music, on the other hand, I could care less about what the other party wants to talk about, i’ll just keep going on and on about it!
lets see…
I studied bujinkan budo taijutsu for about 10 years.
I have worked for British Intelligence.
I have worked in the Houses of Commons.
I like to dress up.
I am a good cook.
I have been on antidepressants for the last 15 years.
Cheers, Bippy
Great thread.
I know and do loads of things that no-one would ever guess if I didn’t tell them. I’m a mindreader and performer. I’ve travelled the world as an entertainer. I’ve met loads of celebs and worked with some of them. I’ve been featured on TV, in magazines, in papers. Some people are kind enough to call me a world-ranking authority on everything to do with psychic and paranormal claims. Last week I spent two days as a fire-walking consultant for a TV series that’s going to be broadcast later this year! But no-one would ever know just from looking at me.
Is it acceptable to sort of invert the OP and list things that people do know about you, or think they do, but which are not true? There have been several weird instances of this in my life. Lots of people who’ve known me a while have assumed that I’m well-read, that I probably listen to classical music etc. and I have no idea why they’d think that. I’m not well-read at all, I’m shamefully ignorant when it comes to the arts, and although there are classical bits I like, most of the time I play bog-standard pop and rock music.
Likewise, there have been at least two or three very strange experiences when (cutting long stories short) guys have apologised to someone or done something out of character because, so they said, they feared that otherwise I’d beat them up. This is absurd. Not only do I not look even remotely tough, but I’m a complete pacifist wimp, and have never even sniffed a fight in my entire life.
Truly, life is weird.
*that I have a wicked bad temper
*that I exercize ALL the time–genetics dictate my curviness
*that I spent about 5 years as a teen clinically depressed and suicidal
*that I am a vegetarian
*that I call my mother. A lot. But she’s really cool.
The fact that I can’t spell worth a damn, however is well publicized
exercise, damn it.
I was once a half-assed steeplejack painting things like water towers from a bosuns chair, metalwork on complicated slate roofs etc.
That I have been blessed with the gift of flight and extraordinary strength, and that I devote said powers to protecting the feeding rights of runt puppies.
That my most eagerly anticipated magazine every month is Vogue.
Besides the fact that I’m nearly a decade older than people usually guess at first glance…
People who know me, but not well, frequently seem dumbfounded that:
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while they don’t seem surprised that I’m an aspiring writer, they’re always shocked that write a lot of horror stories (why do they always guess I write stories like Tyler and Hoffman?)
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I like heavy, guitar based music. (I own more Korn cds than country or easy listening cds all together, thanks)
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I have a sarcastic sense of humor (admittedly opinions rapidly go from “you look so sweet and innocent” to " sweet and innocent? what the hell was I thinking?")
I’m a real girly-girl. I most often wear dresses and heels to work and am very feminine looking. People are usually surprised to learn that I own nearly every power tool known to man and would rather be building something than doing just about anything else (and I’m good at it too!).
People always assume I’m older than I am, I stopped getting carded for R-rated movies when I was 14.
That I’m rather intraverted, despite my outgoing and loud personality I am very introspective.
I’m not as smart as people take me as, I just talk a lot. And I do a lot of fibbing making it sound like I know what I’m talking about. Yet this fibbing has a different quality than lying to me, I can’t lie. I suck at poker because I have no poker face.
That I’m in my forties, as I look about 35.
That I love bath stuff and lotion and candles, as I don’t fix my hair or wear makeup. I’m not a very feminine person.
That I know self-defense. People who have seen me use it are drop jawed.
That I know a lot about classical music, thanks to brother Julian (Lloyd Webber, classical cellist).
My temper, as I’m generally a very quiet, easy going people. Ditto with the dropped jaws.