What would you do about a hostile work environment?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I just started my new job back in December. I do editing for a prominent organization’s medical journals. I was really excited about the opportunity, it was a raise in pay and a chance to do something with my journalism degree.

Well, things aren’t turning out quite as planned. See, there are only three of us in our little office. One is the boss, who we will call Dick, and the other is also an editor and we will call her Susan.

Dick runs the office. Completely and totally. He is the only one with speakers on his computer, so we listen to what he likes. All day, every day. But, I can live with that.

Slowly, but surely Dick has shown himself to be a racist, sexist pig, amongst other things. For instance, he keeps a construction worker’s hat on his coat rack so he can put it on when he looks out the window to “rate” women who are jogging along the canal. He makes remarks about the hispanic men who clean and do various things around said canal. He has complained that he wants to take his son out of his current high school because there are too many black kids and his son feels bullied and outnumbered. He says he lives on the “black” side of town.

He has make sexual references to his wife, joked about finding a mistress, and various other things. He also talks badly about many of our co-workers and associates. It’s anything but appropriate.

Then yesterday it came to a head. He was talking about a meeting with some of our editors that live in various states and how they’re all so health conscious and he wants to dress in overalls and puff cigar smoke in their faces. His exact words, and I quote, "Yeah, it’s my pro choice to blow smoke at them. I’ll show those lesbo feminists who kill their babies…"

Right about that point I walked out and went to the bathroom for five minutes or so. I couldn’t listen to any more.

I spoke with Susan about it, and she seemed uncomfortable with my bringing it up. So I spoke with Dick’s boss about it and he said he’d take care of things. Well, today went by with the most hostile tension in the air that I could ever imagine. Dick did not speak to me, and he and Susan didn’t even talk. No music was played.

So starting a while back and coming to a head yesterday and today I have been feeling nervous, my heart rate is up, and I often have the urge to vomit while I’m at work.

What would you do in my position?

2

Oh, and he curses throughout the day. And he has a plaque that says, “Everyone is a prostitute, we just have different prices.”

3

Go back to Dick’s boss. Show him why you’d be a better boss.

4

I had a somewhat similar situation a couple of years ago, except it was a co-worker who was treating me like shit, not a boss. I went to our mutual boss and asked for something to be done about the mistreatment, and the boss basically laughed it off - she knew that my co-worker was a psycho bitch since she often went off on the boss herself, but the boss was a completely ineffective supervisor and did nothing about it. I eventually quit and received employment insurance, which is virtually unheard of in Canada when you quit a job - the government agreed with me that the situation was bad enough to leave.

If I had it to do over again, I would change how I handled the situation, though. I would look my co-worker in the eye when she started getting angry at me or taking her bad mood out on me and simply say, “I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that.” Your situation sounds a little different in that Dick is not actually directing his hostility at you, just around you (which doesn’t make it better, I realize).

You could try calling Dick on his inappropriate office behaviour (and keep it on that level - don’t make it personal at all) by saying things like, “I’m not comfortable with hearing racist comments,” or “I’m not comfortable with your talking about women like that,” or “I don’t think that comment was not appropriate for a workplace” and see how it goes. I suspect that Dick won’t change at all, and you might have to leave the situation, but if you do have to leave, at least you would leave knowing you gave it your best shot.

I wish you the absolute best with this situation - I know very well what it feels like to cry at work daily, and dread waking up every weekday morning.

5

I support your position wholeheartedly, but I would start making plans to move on to another job. If the unease that you created by talking to Dick’s boss has caused you physical discomfort, then imagine some kind of larger confrontation and how that would make you feel.

That’s the coward-conflict-avoidance way out, but that’s my personal style. I figure if I’m meant to be somewhere, it will work out well. (Even though I’m too much of a rational person to even ponder the idea of being “meant to be somewhere”).

Dick is the kind of guy that should lose, but it doesn’t seem like he’s done anything beyond being a generalized a$$hole. You can try and tame him in a lighthearted, informal manner, or even change him as a person through informal rebuke and education, but to get him out of the way…that would be more difficult.

Then again, maybe Dick’s boss is utterly ignorant of Dick’s Dickness, and will now fix things. If so, you should see improvements. If not, unless the job is really important enough to fight for, and you are up for fighting, just move on with a lesson learned.

Hope it works out however you deal.

flip

6

I have worked in a really uncomfortable situation myself and I sympathize.

My boss was less overtly a pig, but in a way, that was almost worse because he was so damn sneaky about it and no-one else could see what he was like. Everyone knew he was an asshole in general, but not many people saw the truly evil, manipulative, bullying side of him.

I felt physically sick EVERY SINGLE DAY he was in the office. When he wasn’t in the office, I felt sick every time my phone rang in case it was him. My number of sick days went up and my productivity went down. I almost lost my job because on paper I looked like a mess, and no matter who I told about this guy, no-one was willing to do anything about him, including his Vice President. So finally I forced a resolution and they found someone else for me to report to until I went on maternity leave. However, they also eliminated my job shortly before that time, so in the end, he ended up winning. I am jobless and his record is still squeaky-clean.

Sorry - not to make it about me - I just wanted to let you know that I truly understand where you’re coming from.

I don’t believe there is anything you can say or do to change this situation. For whatever reason, Dick is being kept at that company. I don’t know if you can change that. The only thing you can change / control is the way you react to the pig - but honestly it sounds like any reaction will just egg him on and you’ll become a target.

What he is doing is defined as harassment. If the company you work for does not have a harassment policy in place that it is willing to enforce, you are screwed.

Unfortunately the only solution I can see is that you find another job.

Good luck … I feel for you.

7

Go to HR. You know, one part of harassment is counted as a “hostile work environment”.

I’m not saying you should run to file a lawsuit. But you should find out what your company’s policies are for reporting this.

Keep a dated log book, so if something does happen you have proof and not just his word against yours.

And check the harassment laws for your state.

Most companies have a procedure to deal with this sort of shit. It can’t hurt to at least look into it.

Good luck.

8

I am an HR person :wink:

From what I understand you went to Dick’s boss, the boss did the right thing and told Dick “Cut it the hell out, that’s not what we pay you for” or words to that effect. Dick is understandably pissed, but he doesn’t have a leg to stand on and he knows it. Most likely the conversation between Dick and his boss included the words “don’t let it happen again.”

There is hostile environment, which is a legal term describing exactly what you talked about at first, a pervasive atmosphere of racist/sexist comments; then, there is a tense atmosphere, which is what happens now that Dick has been called on the carpet. Nothing illegal about that. You do, however, have significant legal protection against any type of tangible retaliation for your complaint (lack of raise, lack of promotion, undesirable transfer, firing).

Take as many deep breaths as it takes to keep your calm and professionalism. Let some time pass. If I’m understanding this correctly, I don’t see any reason for you to look for another job. If there is a desirable lateral transfer available, you might want to look into that. Don’t let the forces of evil win!! Keep notes to yourself about the date you made the complaint, act professionally, and try to put the whole thing behind you if Dick’s behavior improves.

9

Dick is way beyond being just an asshole. He is breaking the law. It’s called a hostile work environment and is illegal. Companies that tolerate this sort of thing are opening themselves up to potentially very serious lawsuits. You probably did the company a big favor.

Be sure to keep records of any and all further incidents, harrassment, snide remarks and the like. Also if you are kept “out of the loop” on issues affecting your work. Bring any such to the attention of HR.

I would also suggest that if the atmosphere in the office is making you physically ill (as I entirely believe it can), you should seek professional help. I mean this seriously and kindly. A good therapist might be able to help you be less stressed by the situation, and/or suggest coping mechanisms. Keep records of the visits and the expenses. You may also need to see a medical doctor for help with the symptoms. Keep records of your expenses for prescribed medicines.

If you find that with all of that you are still finding the stress level beyond your endurance, and your doctors agree, you may need to take medical leave in order to regain your physical and mental health. This might entail, if it’s for longer than your sick leave, going on temporary medical disability.

Document, document, document. There is absolutely no reason why anyone should be asked to tolerate the kind of behavior you described.

10

If you are not used to confrontation, feeling nervous and queasy is a common reaction. That doesn’t mean that you will continue to feel that way. You really, really did the right thing in asserting yourself and over time that becomes empowering.

By standing up to these jerks, you also help to make the workplace better for everyone.

Chin up!

11

Well, I am used to confrontation, but I am not used to it at work. If it keeps up like it is there won’t be an “over time” for me to get used to it or empowered by it.

Life is too damn short to spend 40 hours a week with this dick. I’m going to give it a couple of weeks and see what happens. But if it doesn’t get a lot better quick, then I’ll be forced to look for something else.

The sad thing is that I was so optimistic about this job. I even ignored some of Dick’s behavior, thinking that I can deal with it. Now I don’t think I can.

Thank you guys for your advice and help.

12

Indygrrl, if you’re used to confrontation, why not try to draw on some of that strength and use it to bring the asshole down? It sounds like,

  1. You are in the right.
  2. He has shit for brains.
  3. He is giving you plenty of documentable examples.

Keep a log. Add to it on a daily basis, go back and take the advice of a number of these posts regarding your legal rights, and protecting your own health.

Listen, it sounds like you like the job itself; don’t let this asshole make you leave it. If you leave the job, do it on your own terms and to take a better position somewhere else. Until that happens, document everything.

13

I once had to work w/ a guy, my equal, who made no bones about his dislike for me. He was childish about it, refusing to even speak to me. Funny thing is that we had been friendly before this. He even invited me to his house for dinner. Then he suddenly had nothing but contempt. I never did figure out why. I even went to him, in private, and tried to talk about whatever was bugging him, but he refused to talk.
I’d suggest you wait it out until you have a performance review and see how that goes. In the meantime document as others have said. He likely doesn’t see his behavior as abnormal as he’s been getting away w/ it until you came on the scene. The other woman, Susan, sounds like she’s waiting to see which side her bread is butter on. Maybe she’s been through this before. If you leave he’ll go back to his old ways and think he’s won. It also sounds like Dick’s boss may have been aware of the problem, but chose not to deal w/ it just to avoid dealing w/ the problem. You forced his hand. It’s not surprising that things will be tense for awhile, but these things usually mellow pretty quickly. Keep quiet for awhile unless Dick gets blatant again, he’ll probably try to test his limits w/ you.
If you’re doing a good job and your first review doesn’t reflect it, then it may be time to seek legal advice.
Fighting for your rights is never easy, but if you stick it out you’ll reap the rewards in the long run.

14

I don’t know the laws in Indiana, but when we went through Sexual Harrassment Training, it was stressed that if the higher-ups were made aware of a problem and chose not to address it, that’s grounds for a lawsuit.

We were told quite strongly that we were to take each accusation seriously and deal with it promptly.

15

The woman who was bullying me was fired a couple of months after I left. Um, thanks for, well, nothing, ex-employers. I like to think that my complaints to Canadian Employment and their subsequent investigation of the company contributed to her firing, however. :smiley:

Oh yeah, and like others have said, document document document. You might be able to get this jerk fired if you keep a cool head with copious notes - you know he’s not documenting all the things he says.

16

Everyone gave excellent advice. I have just one more thing to add.

If you can, surreptiously take pictures of the plaque. The hardhat too. All the better if you can do it while he wearing it and gawking out the window. If he does that again, that is. Hopefully, his boss told him to take those items home. If he didn’t, then you’ll have some pictoral evidence of the hostile work environment Dick creates if he starts acting up again.

Good luck.

17

Question-why the hard hat to look out the window at women? What’s the point of that?

18

I worked for a husband-wife team in the late '80s: He was a very angry alcoholic and she was a sneaky, pathological liar. It was a terrible three years during which I constantly felt physically ill and anxious/depressed. I was too young and frightened to realize that their behavior in the workplace was way out of line (and probably illegal in some aspects).

Sorry you’re going through this yucky work stuff. I think the documentation suggestions are really smart; make sure you take care of yourself in all this and get out of there if it starts to ruin your life!

19

Congratulations on taking up the issue with Dick’s boss.

Is there any chance that Dick, having been chastised by his boss, will feel uncomfortable enough to leave? If he can’t give reign to his free expression, maybe he’ll look for a friendlier environment.

What a dick. Great name choice. Has he been living under a rock, to think he could get away with crap like that?

20

My first job out of college was doing promotions for a popular nightclub. Because it was a nightclub I was prepared for some not-so-professional behavior.

What I got was being hit on daily by the pig of a manager. He was an ex-NHLer who apparently felt he was God’ gift to my life. He would constantly make passes and yell at me for not using my tab to “booze it up” more.

I always managed to dodge his comments without being too harsh. We had anotehr woman in the office, who was known as Satan. She was charming.

It all came to a head when he invited me to his house to sit in the hot tub naked and smoke pot with him. I said no.

The following day he began to accuse me of theft and other things.

I just quit. I knew I was in the right, and could’ve sued and fought like the dickens, but I’d had it.