I’d vote to give myself a raise.
You’re in, but know that every member of the mayor’s staff has to dress like a 1920’s gangster and carry a Thompson gun at all times.
Pssst…the mic is on!
- Give a $10 property tax credit per tree over 15 feet tall on your property.
1a. Reassess the taxes every year to reflect planting/removals. - Fire the school board. No more damn improvements to the schools. Roof, fine. New practice field for the baseball team (which sucks anyway), never.
- Consolidate both fire departments into one district.
- Come to think of it, no more free gas fill-ups for the municipal vehicles. I know for a fact that everyone in the services (fire, police, sanitation) all fill up their personal vehicles. The gravy train stops now.
- No more development. We have overflowing brooks and streams as it is. Stop making it worse, Dweck! Your ‘empire’ is now crumbled, so hopefully I don’t need to be mayor.
and finally, change the street names to reflect something other than the names of the developer’s kids. How many Donna Courts and Robert Ways does one town need!?!
Not much on the whole.
Which is a serious answer- I live in a city run by a city manager, and the mayor doesn’t really have any powers not possessed by any other member of the city council.
I live in Las Vegas, so once elected Mayor:
I will create a pedestrian zone on The Strip - transportation on The Strip will then be twofold - you can either take a huge roller coaster going from one end of The Strip to the other end, with stops along the way, and the other transportation method will be a type of ski lift to gracefully carry you from one end to the other with stops along the way and a nice view during the leisurely ride. Both will be free of charge.
Buffet tickets will be sold in advance, with an exact time on the ticket so there is never any wait in line.
Every casino will provide ATM machines that do NOT charge fees - they have other ways to get their money.
Mini-bars in hotel rooms can only charge the same price as your local 7/11, and not gouge you for this service.
Free porn channels in every room.
Nobody under the age of 21 allowed in any casino, under any circumstances. Not in the rooms, not in the restaurants and not at the pool. In other words, if you have kids, Disneyland is in California.
Of course, chances of me getting elected depend on when the current Mayor, Oscar Goodman, leaves on his own free-will. He will be elected forever - how can you not like a Mayor who was a mob attorney, does ads for Bombay Gin, wants to legalize prostitution in Las Vegas (currently only legal outside of the county) and a guy who loves to party more than most 22 year olds?
OK, I already answered this question but it was a joking response.
My real, honest answer to the OP is, of course, “Two chicks at the same time”.
Seriously? I’d do away with the idiotic law that means that small local bands can’t put their fliers up on derelict buildings or grey bits of street furniture (like the boxes that control traffic lights etc)
Then I’d either keep it banned and use the £100 000 a year saved to properly clean the streets of dog filth and chewing gum, or re-impose it with the provisor that if the law is in place to stop “offensive” postings, then surely (logically) it should extend to sectarian graffitti. If the police and council are unwilling or unable to extend it so, then the bands can have their posters back on the walls.
I would enact a sign by-law that says you simply cannot put up more than one sign to advertise your “whatever it is” store and it has to be exactly the same size and colour as everyone elses. I would take all the signs out of our parks, I mean, really, who cares if the trail is named after you, and even if it is, do you have to put a sign up?
And stores, car dealerships and all other kinds of businesses would have to turn off all their lights when closed.
I think the mayor of my town is getting a commission from the sign people for the sheer volume of signs to create an eyesore.
Meh. The only times I see this in Orlando are when one local artist decides to canvas the entire neighborhood’s telephone poles and traffic boxes with their promotion. A lot of times it’s still there months or years later and only makes me promise never to see the band under any circumstances.
So I wouldn’t mind repealing a law such as that (which I’m not sure if we have in Orlando or not,) with exceptions for plastering your stuff everywhere.
What would I do…
First, I’d find out who built the “Road to nowhere” in Frisco, and either pillory them in front of City Hall, or quietly have them killed. For mysterious reasons, the city felt it necessary to build a brand new, 1 million plus dollar road through the middle of a field (an empty field!), when there are several other roads that reduce for 400 yards to 2 lanes, and then go back to 4.
Second, I’d expand those bottlenecked roads.
Third, I’d get a liquor referendum on the ballot. No point in driving to the next town over to buy liquor.
Fourth, I’d try to revise the laws to allow honest-to-God bars and nightclubs to open up. Nobody’s going to come watch MLS games, if they can’t go to a real bar before or after.
Fifth, I’d stop the ridiculous traffic enforcement, and put a bigger guard on the mall parking lots.
Sixth, I’d call up a militia of some kind, march on Austin, and burn the TxDOT headquarters to the ground. I’d also send some of my militia to burn the North Texas Tollroad Authority headquarters as well. Between those two groups of mongoloids, they’ve managed to put BOTH major routes into or out of Frisco under serious construction for more than 2 years now, and it’s getting FUCKING old!
I’d spend some money. I’ve been on the city council since January, and nobody wants to spend any money. I realize we need to be prudent, but for pete’s sake, can’t we fix the net at the tennis court? Put some benches in the park?
We have almost $200K in CDs. When a CD matures, we just roll the money over. It’s like we’re afraid someone will accuse us of being spendthrifts.
One of my biggest pet peeves around here is the lack of public transportation outside of Albany itself. Yes, very nice inside, but we are a community and northerners need to get here sans automobile, too. So first thing = work on public transportation.
Secondly I would try to help the neighboring cities a little, specifically Latham & Schenectady. Not everything needs to be based out of Albany and Saratoga.
Thirdly, I would continue with the present changes in bike & pedestrian paths. We’ve made huge strides but we need more. This doesn’t need to be a car-only city.
The south of the city is a student area and has a pretty high turnover of posters, so you don’t see anything daft for long. The derelict buildings used by posters are of the awful 70s school of design and would do well to be brightened up.
What really gets my bile rising is the way the cretins in City Hall word the reasons for spending £100 000 a year (according to them) and much man power and time hosing down old buildings. They claim that this is to take away posters that may frighten people. Yeah, and the bloody 12ft high murals celebrating the sectarian violence of parts of Belfast won’t do that, no sir. No, massive reminders that the people in one part of the city liked hearing about the deaths of people in the other parts couldn’t possibly be as bad as A4 sheets telling us about what dive a few students will be playing in…
I’d give Hooters the same tax breaks we gave Hyundai to move to our town. Then I’d veto the law that bans strip clubs within the state capitol city.
Then I’d add a 2% tax on draft beer sold in the city limits. I’d use the added tax revenues to do build frickin’ sidewalks and crosswalks and bike lanes. (You can’t get anywhere in this town without a car.)