The event to be discussed actually happened a few weeks ago and the question of "What would YOU do came up:
You visit an acqaintance’s home for lunch, dinner, or what have you. It might be just you or one or more other people. A call to nature occurs involving no. 2…and you get directions to the guest bathroom. All goes well but when you flush, nothing happens and the disgusting bowel contents are floating in the bowl. You look for a plunger and there is none. You try to get the toilet to flush again and you are totally unsuccessful.
The individual involved said she was so embarrassed that she picked the contents from the toilet bowl by hand and squished it into the sink.
Serious question: What would you have done in this situation…take the toilet cover off the back and put it on the seat and quickly run out to find the host or hostess if either is present or???
I guess first I’d go re-read “Me Talk Pretty One Day” by David Sedaris. Then I’d leave the bathroom, close the door, and pretend nothing happened. Someone will find it eventually.
Mind you, I’m not saying this is what one SHOULD do; this is my best guess at what I WOULD do.
Now that IS the definitive difference between She’s and He’s. She’s (of which I am a member) will dispose of the, er, um, refuse in the most inconspicuous way, while He’s will leave the ‘remains’ for the host/hostess.
…and ask for a plunger, and I would handle the rest myself. I would, under no circumstances allow the host to clean it up, simply because it was a mess that I made during a private act of elimination.
Okay, maybe there was something wrong with the toilet. If so, maybe this will embarass them enough to get the damn thing fixed, but you know what? The toilet in my place has such a small drain that I sometimes have to stop and flush once and then continue. That could be the case in your example.
I sure as hell wouldn’t squish the damn things into the sink!:eek:
Your post brought back a teenage memory: The same thing happened to me at my girlfriend’s house. No plunger, but there was a window, so I just wrapped them bad boys in toilet tissue and tossed them outside, meaning to pick them up before driving home.
I forgot to do this. But luckily it was never mentioned.
Unfortunately in this case there was no window in the bathroom and she was too embarrassed to leave the room to find the host as everyone at the table knew she just went to the bathroom… Now what?
See, this is why I’ve spent a long time building up invincible bowels. I can hold it in for several days if I have to and still be fine. But when, at the end of those several days, I finally release it, watch out… I’d need me a whole book of matches to keep that air non-toxic.
I agree with Osip - home toilets are pretty simple mechanisms, and if “nothing” happened (as opposed to the toilet actually being clogged) when the handle was pulled, all you have to do is take off the lid and pull up the plunger in the middle. I suppose most people wouldn’t know this, but even so, squishing her own shit down the sink?! Not only is that GROSS, it’s very unhygienic!
You can also flush most home toilets by pouring a large amount of water (at least a half-gallon) into the bowl all at once from a pitcher or two. This is helpful if the tank is empty and won’t fill.
Now I want to know: who is this woman who would rather squeeze her own shit like play-doh than ask for help with the toilet from another person?
Lizard: The girl is perfectly normal and healthy. When asked why she didn’t just go out and look for the host, she replied that the homeowner whose house this occurred was outside eating at a table with an intimate group of people…and once again felt embarrassed with conversation stopping while she asked for the plunger.
Now what do you do if No. 2 is performed and then you realize after the act that there is no toilet paper???.
Pop the top off the back. If there is water inside, pull the cord by hand. If there is no water inside, find a container of some kind and fill it with water from the tap.
Use lots of water to clean yourself, then wash your hands very thoroughly. In this part of the world that’s the normal way anyway - they have these shower-hose things next to all the lavatories, though luckily for us westen expats there is paper as well. I tried the hose once and nearly hit the ceiling the jet was so strong. Instant colonic irrigation if you’re not careful…
Now if you don’t have a hose, what I guess you could do is flush, then use the clean water that refills the loo as a sort of bidet. Then wash very very very thoroughly your hands the basin (if you couldn’t sit in the basin and use that as a bidet) then shower well as soon as you got home.
Or you could just get skids I suppose… but only males get those don’t they?
