Disclaimer, I’m not a parent. I’m also asuming an older teenager, like 15-16-17
If I caught my hypothetical teenager smoking cigarettes I’d take them away and explain that cigarettes are the least dignified way to smoke, have the cheapest/least flavorful tobacco you can find and are a complete waste of money. Then I’d take him/her to a respectable tobacco shop help him pick out some quality cigars or a batch of good pipe tobacco. I figure they’re going to smoke if they want to and if they are they might as well do it with some style and dignity, dammit.
If I catch them drinking it’s likely because I poured it for them. If I ever have kids I’d do exactly what my parents did to me at that age: cultivate a taste for micro-brews and top-shelf liquors. This approach takes away the mystery of drinking and makes most of the stuff they could aquire on their own or through friends unpalatable.
If I caught them smoking pot I’d insist that they share. Again just following my parents lead here. Actually my mom was always rather disappointed that she never caught me smoking pot in highschool (because I didn’t, that wasn’t a vice I picked up until I was in college) and in fact was the first person I ever smoked up with. I had a cool family.
Hard drugs would worry me and my reaction would vary depending on the class of drug they were using. Something powerfully addictive like coke or smack and they’d be in a rehab program right away.
I don’t agree with the rest of your post, but there is a lot of merit to this idea. My parents allowed us to drink at home with them from a very early age. We were allowed a couple of sips of wine at dinner (from our very own wine glasses!) when we were 5-6. By the time we were 10 or so, we were practically forced to sample their gin gibsons, scotch and sodas, and whiskey sours. In our mid to late teens, beer with fajitas and wine with nice meals became standard.
I thought the liquor my peers were drinking (jello shots, everclear in punch, lite beer, and wine coolers) was terribly uncool. Furthermore, my sisters and I couldn’t understand why anyone would think drinking was such a cool thing to do, such that all these clandestine parties revolved around it. Heck, if we wanted to drink, all we had to do was suggest wine with dinner. And we remembered hard liquor with our age 10 palates, back when it tasted like nasty cough syrup.
Um, I can only hope this is an extreme case of hyperbole, but if this actually reflects your attitude toward your child’s well-being, why the hell would you care whether they were smoking?
I don’t know exactly what I’d do (and not being a parent, I have many years to figure this out), but I’d be more inclined to set some firm boundaries – no smoking on school grounds, in front of younger siblings, etc. – rather than trying to police everything my kids do in their spare time. Like Waenara said, if a kid is truly determined to smoke, you can’t do much to stop them, and making a big issue of it is the fastest way to make them more determined. (I would certainly never have smoked as a teenager if it hadn’t been Strictly Forbidden; I suspect this is true of most young people.)
Drinking, now – I think I’d just take the kids to Belgium on spring break and educate their palates. They won’t be able to down enough Milwaukee’s Best to get into much trouble after that.
OH MY GOD! SMOKING! AAAGH! THAT’S WORSE THAN VOTING REPUBLICAN!!
HAVE THEM BEATEN WITH GOLF CLUBS! WITHDRAWL PARENTAL LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY! SEND THEM FEED THEM ONLY BREAD AND WATER!! DISOWN THEM!! TAKE ALL THEIR POSSESSIONS AWAY! HAVE THEM BEATEN BY THE MAFIA!! IT’S THE ONLY WAY!!!
I don’t have kids yet, so I can’t answer.
I can give my experience with peers that smoked when we were in High School.
It seemed that the vast majority of peers that smooked came from a house that conatined at least one parent smoker. The kids’ general thought on their parents getting them (the kids) to quit was that the parents were hypocrites.
It’s easy to see now, as an adult, why a amoking parent would not want their child to smoke. Through a teen’s eyes, however, it was more of: they smoke so why should I?
So, that said, if you don’t want your kids to start up, perhaps it is best to quit smoking yourself? It sets an example and all.
However, if you don’t smoke and your kids do, I don’t have an answer.
It’s easy to see now, as an adult, why a smoking parent would not want their child to smoke. Through a teen’s eyes, however, it was more of: they smoke, so why shouldn’t I?
My mom offered me $100 to quit when she found out I was smoking at age 16. That didn’t work, and now that I think about it, $100 is kind of an insult. Hmmm.
Smoking: If the child plays any fast-paced sports (basketball, football, track, whatever) just wait till they realize that they can’t run anymore without their lungs screaming for air. My parents never caught me smoking, but i quit right quick when I realized I couldn’t get through a warmup routine for football without becoming exhausted.
Drinking: Negative reinforcment works well. If they come home drunk and you catch them, let them sleep for about 2 hours or so (just enough to go from drunk to beginning-hangover) then wake them up and have them do manual labor all day (outside in the summer heat if possible). The more menial , repetitive and boring the tasks, the better. If you can involve loud machinery, even better. Have them sweep the driveway 50 times. Have them mow the lawn 20 times (if you don’t think they’re sober enough to handle a lawnmower, have them rake while you mow the lawn around them). Do not let them have more then 5 minutes worth of break in any one 3-hour period. (But make sure they get plenty of water)
Drugs: not sure actually, never had a problem with that when I was a kid.
These techniques worked on me anyway. YMMV. Of course, I still drink (although I didn’t get drunk for the second time until I was in college).
I’m almost 42 and started smoking in high school to be “cool”. I hate the smell, hate the taste, hate the $ I spend, and I hate that I’m dependent on a bit of tobacco w/chemicals wrapped in paper.
I’ve always felt that if my parents had done as Isabelles had - forced me to chain smoke in a very small, confined area, that I would’ve gotten sick and quit. Frankly that’s been my plan if I catch one of mine smoking. I’m a bit disappointed it didn’t work for you Isabelle. Now I need a back up plan.
Smoking: Definitely disapprove. I didn’t start until I was 30, and then it was only cigars and pipes. I say to my kids that they can start as early as I did.
Illegal substances: Extreme disapproval. Too much potential life hassle, and my experience with legal opiates after surgery gives me firsthand knowledge that the harder varieties are far too powerful to use recreationally.
Booze–again, I didn’t start until I was about 30, and then it was only bourbon, tequila, etc. neat–no pollutants. Same principle as for tobacco.
Background: I’m about to start my freshman year of college.
I am an occasional smoker. When I am around friends who smoke, I sometime bum a cigarette. In my bathroom, there is nearly full pack of cigarettes which hasn’t been opened in at leat 4 monthes. The last time I smoked was at a party post-high school graduation. I don’t believe making your kids smoke a carton will work to get them to quit. The reason I tried my first cigarette was… well, let’s do the play.
Erik (smoking friend): la-de-de, watch me drive and smoke and hum along to my wacky mix CD
LosAdri: Hey, lemme try one of those.
Erik: What? a cigarette?
LosAdri: yeah
Erik: ok… u sure? here
LosAdri “smokes”
Erik: That was the cheap way to do it!
LosAdri: WHAT?
Erik: you gotta inhale
LosAdri: how? WTF?
Erik explains
LosAdri: ohhh (and proceeds to do so) (and likes it)
I tried once b/c I thought I would cough and gag and hate it. I didn’t. So thats that.
Alcohol: My parents started letting me try sips of wine when I was 13 or 14 (like New Years or that such). I don’t like wine. My mom let me try her margaritas this past year (I like those when they don’t take like alcohol). I dunno if my parents know I tried beer after graduation but I have told them there was beer at the party. As long as an older kid (16+) knows and is responsible enough to not get into a car and drive drunk or get into a car w/ a drunk driver, don’t do anything bad to them please. Say you don’t approve and don’t want them coming home drunk. Punish them if they come home drunk, but not just for drinking. It won’t work probably.
Pot: tried it once, had no effect. Will prolly try at college. My parents did it, I know that. They know I will probably try it. I know they don’t necessarily approve but I also know they trust me enough not to smoke myself stupid.
Someone earlier said something about smoking hurting sports. Some of the biggest potheads and druggies I knew in high school were star athletes, making all-conference and all-state teams. There are probably similar examples in your kids’ high schools so that prolly won’t work.
Why don’t some of my friends smoke? One of them hates all drugs and sex and anything remotely sinful (I’m exagerating) Another doesn’t like the idea of smoking anything, but she knows she will drink at college. I dunno… maybe you gotta brainwash them early?
If I had kids, I’d probably do something similar if I caught any of them smoking cigarettes, but if I caught them smoking weed, (which is apparently better for you to smoke that cigarettes), then I would probably praise them for it.
With the kids in my family, the economic break-down of the situation actually worked quite well. When my youngest brother reached the age where smoking was a potential problem, I had him sit down and calculate how much money a cigarette habit would cost him (money that would be better used at purchasing a car or motorcycle when he could legally drive). With smoking pot or drinking, I emphasized again the cost of the product and the cost of legal defense if caught with the product at the wrong time and wrong place. This program proved incredibly successful with him and we have used it with subsequent generations with incredible success.
Well, I can tell you what happened when my parents found I was smoking - they went ballistic, understandably, and gave me the whole lecture on the dangers of smoking, yadda yadda. It made absolutely no difference (except that I got a lot better at hiding it from them) and I didn’t quit until years later.
If TV (and old Donald Duck cartoons) have taught me anything, the proper punishment for catching a kid smoking is to make him smoke an entire carton or two until they feel sick and decide never to smoke again.
That surprisingly works for a lot of things, but not porn.
-Catch a kid sipping dad’s beer? Make them drink one after another until they are up all night retching and vomiting.
-Hand in the cookie jar before dinner? Make 'em eat 4 bags of Oreos.
-Caught gambling in the school yard? Make them gamble all their allowance away with you until they are in debt and you have to break their thumbs because they can’t afford to pay up anymore.
but…
-Caught looking at porn on the computer? …making them watch a lot of porn ain’t gonna help :mad:
Stop bumping up old threads. Look at the dates before you reply. This has been the 5th or 6th time you’ve done this in the last few days. Once or twice, I can see…but this many is getting out of hand. Knock it off, please.
If you really have something to say on an old topic, make a new topic and link back to the old one.
