First day: Rest up for a busy week.
Second day: Get rid of woman, man and land animals.
Third day: Get rid of flying creatures and sea creatures.
Fourth day: Get rid of -Oh wait, I’ve already had my ‘few days’. I guess the sun, moon, planets and stars can stick around for a while.
“Yes, We’ve all got to think for oursleves”
and so’s my wife
First I’d automate prayer so that the majority of prayers are treated as spam. Spam would be filtered and left as unanswered. Others would be sorted and ranked by need. I would then be able to review those and respond positively to a select few at my discretion. The vast majority of prayers would be left unanswered to encourage people to be proactive with their problems.
Next I would destroy all monuments and documents that portray the Ten Commandments. I would then reissue a complete set of commandments to all religious and political leaders that emphasizes the importance of community, family, love, and compassion.
Then I would burn the words that inspire hate, justify discrimination and war out of all religious texts. I would inspire a new text that explains the significance of marriage in both homosexual and heterosexual relationships, that God is to be respected not worshipped, how loathsome war is, and the importance of helping those less fortunate, of family, technology, science, the environment and education.
That would likely take up the majority of my time. Of course, I don’t know Gods plan and I would likely screw everything up by fiddling with things. And in attempting to put religions on the right path I would likely just create a more subservient religion that would be bullied and killed by all the ones existing now. It would be a nice effort, though. For a time, anyway.
I would decide that I do not exist, nor have I ever existed. And then see what would happen.
I would let the world know that the only thing humans got right is Karma.
Whatever you do, comes back twice-fold…(and you know what the hell you are doing, so get ready to reap your rewards.)
And then I would institute the New, Improved, Instant Karma and watch the assholes die in a blaze while good people started to see their luck change.
Simple. One rule. Even humans could understand it.
Smiting. A whole lotta smiting.
Thank you…you made me belly laugh 
…
I would do much the same as you, also ading making growing whatever PLANT you like, legal and freely permissable 
Peace, love and kind regards,
tsfr
Well, first I’d fire Pat Robertson then have the most FLAMBOYANT homo I could find to take his place. (Just because)
Then I’d have to fuck with one of these so called “mediums” that we’re always seeing on the cable networks these days (same goes for all the gohst hunters out there). I’d get inside their head and start telling them some really fucked up shiit. (I’m not sure what yet.)
Then I’d have to make women as horny and sexualy agressive as we men are.
Oh, and just to better my odds when my godly powers wear off; I’d eliminate half the male population.
Oh, and no more sexually transmitted diseases!
Fix up the whole will power thing. Give everyone an indomitable will so that whatever they want to do they can just do it. If you want to give up smoking you can just stop. Want to diet you simply eat less and exercise more. Want to learn guitar, you just accept that you have to practice and do it every day. The cravings for a cigarette, the desire for a piece of mud cake and the urge to sit and watch TV are just shrugged off.
Then leave everyone to get on with what they want to be doing.
I’d probably just fix my eyesight to 20/20, get rid of acne for everyone (including myself, of course ) and give myself and extra cup size and a couple inches height… Maybe if I’m feeling particularly ambitious, I’d eliminate PMS and periods.
[ul]
[li]11th commandment: Above all, be kind.[/li][li]12th commandment: Ride thy ass or bicycle at least 2 days a week to work.[/li]( Live where you work or I shall smite thee!) Huge Tax deductions for horse drawn carriages, carts and wagons.
[li]13th Commandment: Plant more trees and return the fields to their flowery [/li]state.
[li]14th Commandment: Homosexuals are allowed to legally and joyfully marry.[/li][li]15th Commandment: Divorce is ok, after 1 year mandatory counciling. ( If children are involved, they shall be removed to a Happy Camp to shelter them from their parental units idiocy and if they don’t want to return to said parental units, that is perfectly ok.[/li][li] 16th Commandment Marriage is allowed in all sexes to any sex they promise to cherish and care for and respect after one year of counselling.[/li][li]17th Commandment: no child shall be conceived until the parental units prove they are mentally and financially stable to raise the next generation. Testing will be rigourous.[/li][li] 18th commandment: You will grow your own garden ( flowers and veggies) to learn humility and reverence.[/li][li] 19th Commandment:Moms, Farmers, teachers, police, seamstresses, tailors, cobblers, plumbers, carpenters, auto mechanics and other skilled craftsmen and women shall be held in the highest regard and esteem.[/li][li]20th Commandment: Religious Leaders ( and CEO’s) shall receive zero pay for their work and may not be allowed to accept gifts or donations. ( Failure to comply results in a mandatory 10 year prison term.) They shall be required to work outside of this calling and allowed only two years maximum term duration with no futhur terms allowed. If no one volunteers or is voted into this leadership position, every member of the church over the age of 15 must put their name on a peice of paper into a hat and one name will be selected.[/li][li]21st Commandment: The bible is filled with error. Learn to think for yourself.[/li][li] 22nd Commandment: Pets ( dogs, cats, horses, rodents of all sizes, birds, fish amongst others) are not disposable and are members of your family that you shall love and care for as they love you. If you break this commandment, you will be fined heavily, jail time and lose all rights to pet ownership. (This rule also applies to children as well.)[/li]
[/ul]
If I could change anything I would eradicate genetic disease and childhood illnesses, but then humans would never learn compassion, thankfulness or kindness. So those stay, sorry, but I am God and I am fickle.
My only other changes would that women would not be so fixated on weight and size. That their body images would be as healthy as they are. Ooooh, there is a can of worms.
I would restock all the animals and fish and smite all the McMansions. People, like you in your oversized houses and tiny yards and you are NEVER OUTSIDE should just have an apartment anyways.
There are others, but the tea hasn’t hit my bloodstream yet. If any of these make sense, I’ll be surprised.
I’m afraid I have to overthrow your divine regime at this point. You can’t take away my sarcasm, I won’t let you.
And based on Shirley’s list, I’d have to convert to some other religion - I’d never follow anything that invasive. Plus, when you start adding in concrete penalties before death for specific acts, you’re violating the protection of free will.
If these Commandments were reported in the Bible, or even added to it (as it is easily imaginable they would be if God suddenly handed them down now), would this be contradictory or at least ironic?
I’d change everybody’s gender, just for fun.
I’d bring Pascal back to life; he shouldn’t miss this.
I’d switch the bodies of morbidly obese people and anorexics, just for fun.
I’d tell people what really happened to Jesus’ body.
I’d create a few new colors, and enable everyone’s eyes to see them.
I’d tell the Amish to get a life.
I’d reveal the trick of walking on water.
I’d tell people that I really did make Adam and Steve.
And then, at the end of the last day, I’d announce that I’m an atheist, and disappear.
First I’d have to call off the “Hide ‘n’ Go Seek” game.
Then I’d apologize for letting bad things befall people when I could have stopped it.
Then I’d get the religious leaders together and tell them which one was right (if any of 'em were).
Then I’d start fixing stuff.
But then nobody would ever get any work done!
The last thing I’d want to do is appear before anyone and try to “prove” a God exists, as the smart followers would know that God wouldn’t do that (as I’ve often said, if proof of God existed, one should stop believing, because God has suddenly become too human). It is essential that God exist as a concept, not as a superhero. Maybe I’d try to make people instead wonder “How can a loving Superman let bad things happen to good people?”
But the main thing I’d do is give people visibile auras. Let them wear their souls on the outside. So even the most physically beautiful people would be hideous to others, if their soul was sour. People would be attracted to other people based on the sweetness of their soul, and people’s auras would change if they went bad or improved themselves, but the change to a good aura would be gradual and the change to an evil one would be swift. You could also feel the goodness of other people, so that even the blind could detect goodness in others. It would feel good to touch the aura of good people, and feel like crap to touch the evil ones.
Well, now if I have all of God’s power’s, I’m omnipotent. What I say goes. So the first thing I’d do is remove the time limit on my omnipotence and declare myslef to be immortal, so I am God forevermore. Vacation Boy would be out of luck.
Then I’d have more time to decide what I’d do with the power.
It’s time for a Sunshine Act! I despise secrecy and keeping everybody in the dark, blundering about for their whole lives.
Everybody on earth supposedly has a purpose in God’s plan, right? So the first thing I’d do would be to tell each person, specifically and concretely, exactly what their purpose is and what would make them happiest. Reveal to everyone what inborn talents they may have that they’ve never discovered. Tell them which jobs to apply for. Tell them the name, address and biographical details of their One True Love (if any). Assure them there is order and meaning in the universe and that each human being, no matter how lowly, is an indispensable cog in the great machine of Society.
God presumably didn’t create anyone to be criminals or psychopaths. Hopefully My intervention could steer the bad apples back onto their intended path.