If you're God, how would you change the way the world works?

Great Debates
1

Inspired by this Pit thread as well as a whole bunch of others.

The particular inspiration is the sequence of posts along the lines of “given the suffering in the world, how could there possibly be a God?”

OK, you’re God. How would you have the Universe work in a different manner? Would you prevent all pain and suffering from taking place? Would you prevent some extremes of pain, but let milder kinds of pain, or different types of suffering, happen? And what overall point of the human experience (if any) would your divine choice further?

IOW, feel free to second-guess God; that’s half the point of this thread. And the other half is that others will undoubtedly second-guess you, in their turn, if they feel your divine choices create problems as well as solve them.

Go to it! :slight_smile:

2

There’s all sorts of things that I’d change, but, lets just say one quickly. That whole study about whether intercessory prayer worked or not – I’d make it so that all the people who were prayed for lived miraculously, and all that weren’t didn’t. It might not be fair, but gosh, it’d be fun to see people try to explain that.

Oh, and zits would have to go.

Me’Corva

“well not THE god, but certainly A god”
– Bill Murray, Groundhogs Day

3

I certainly wouldn’t remove pain and suffering. I don’t think I’d change much about the universe itself at all, but I might make any bibles a little more clear on a few philosophical points.

Hell, I’m an all-powerful being and I can’t even write a clear novel? Sheesh. Tough crowd.

4

I would be a lot less mysterious. What the good is that, except to create a lot of (justifiable) disbelievers.

5

Finally. Some recognition.

First, no more black holes in space. They suck.
Then, lots more commets and meteor shower. Also, the Aurora Borealis should be seen from all latitudes in the night sky.

Almost all. I’d leave the funny bone 'cuz it’s funny when somebody hits it and rolls around both laughing and crying at the same time. Also that needles and pins thing that you get when your foot falls asleep and you can’t decide if it hurts or tickles when you try to stand on it. Funny stuff that - some of my best work.

All humans would have wings so they can fly like seagulls and also have the ability to swim like dolphins.

Fried foods would no longer be fattening.

Drugs and alcohol non addictive.

No forbidden fruit. Ever. Especially no apples.

One single language spoken by all. Probably a mixture of English, French, Italian, German and that clicking African language (cuz it’s funny).

No pissing about with trying to kill eachother. Love thy neighbour but keep your hands off his wife’s ass… unless you have an arrangement.

6

Well, a likely thread to attract me! :wink:

Actually, as I get older, I find that more and more, the world makes sense as it is. There are a whole bunch of terrible, tragic and/or pathetic things that happen that obviously need changing, given omnipotence, omniscience, and omnibenevolence, but the key point is…

We’ve been given the directive and the authority to make those changes… and, at least theoretically, the ability. (Check out the Great Commission lately, Rufus?)

So the next step is to go do it.

Which, of course, is what brings me here… :wink:

7

After giving man the temptation to sin and paradoxically setting the rules of morality in opposition, I’d take a hard-line stance against sins of all sort and devote My love and protection to one nation alone. And whenever I spoke, I could be all cryptic and stingy with real answers. Just to fuck with 'em, heh. This probably wouldn’t work out, and I’d have to send some sort of emissary. A “messiah,” if you will (I haven’t worked out the title yet), who could could redeem all mankind. But that probably wouldn’t work out either, and I’d have to just scrap everything and get to work on Earth II: Back with a Vengeance.

8

Ok ok ok… first thing I would do is make the Earth rotate the other way! And I would make dogs and cats able to talk…

Oh yeah… And I would forbid Charles Grodin from ever appearing in public again with a hairpiece. Teach him some humility. :eek:

I would also point out to all the people who worship Me in their various and sundry ways that their method is not the best one and if the want to use My Name as an excuse to kill I have a very special place reserved for them. :mad:

But when I sneezed would people say, “Bless Yourself”?

9

Quite theoretically. :wink: I don’t see us eliminating natural disasters any time soon.

If I were God, I think I’d increase the amount of temptation and natural disasters in the world. I also think I’d add more painful, crippling birth defects and lingering diseases with pain that can’t be ameliorated. Of course, since I have done it and I am God and wholly Good, there will be some sort of mysterious justification y’all are not privy to that makes chronic pain and suffering a Good Thing, and I’ll answer any speculation with a Story of Job-ish “How dare you question me puny mortal” schtick.

I like Deity QuickSilver’s “wings” idea, though, and Deity erislover’s Actual Clearly Spelled Out Religious Text. (“Homosexuals are just people. Don’t kill or hate them or say they’re sinning and wicked because they like to have sex with people of the same gender. I mean it. No, I cut out all those parts about “men who lie down with men”, that was tough even for the apologists to explain away as not being an indictment of homosexuality. If I’m going to rail against kinky sex for shock value, I’ll make explicitly clear that’s what I’m doing.”) I’d probably toss out Hell, too, since eternal punishment for finite sin is too unjust even for Deity Gaudere who’s just increased infant birth defects a hundred-fold. And I’d get rid of heaven, too; no one seems to know what it’s like anyhow, and it sounds awful dull. People who die will be reincarnated in a different universe in a different form with their memories intact. If they get tired of reincarnating, they can go rest in some sort of limbo, or it they’re really tired and just want to die for real, they can.

(For an alternate answer, you can check out ForceFieldWorld)

Good to see you again, Poly. :slight_smile: Hope things have been well with you.

10

The quick and simple way would be to be a lot more active. Make it very clear that you’re watching these folks, and if they step out of line, they’ll pay the prices. Zot a few severe troublemakers to make the point (“Tonight’s headline news, God smites Supreme Court Justice William Rehnquist for being a Grade-A hypocrite in his Florida election rulings”).

Oh, and do a few talk-show appearances. Jay Leno’s show with God would get the highest ratings ever! :smiley:

Let’s face it, the current religious model – where God is like a parent that never disciplines the kids and only doles out punishment/rewards years after the fact – is clearly ineffectual. If he’s gonna be a parent, he has to roll up his sleeves and get involved, just like the rest of us.

Sounds like a totalitarian state, I know. But hey, isn’t that what all those right-wing religious groups want anyway? State-mandated religions, mandatory prayer in schools, banning/supression of competing beliefs…

11

[hijacking own thread]
Poly, you’re back!!!

::grabs Polycarp, wraps him up in a bear hug, kisses him on both cheeks::

::catches Gaudere out of the corner of his eye, pulls her into the hug on general principles::
[/self-hijack]

So, where were we, before my effusive display of emotion?

erislover: so, you’re saying that, in your universe, God writes the sacred texts? Is it clear that God’s really the author, or is there room to doubt his existence?

Fear Itself: I dunno, if I’m God and I want to give My creation a fair amount of freedom, giving them room to disbelieve in Me entirely seems a step in the right direction.

QuickSilver: you know what the HHG said about the Babel Fish.

And how does it work if I try to kill or hurt someone? Are we all physically invulnerable? And is that true for all animals (or even plants) past a certain point in evolution? And if so, what do we eat?

Polycarp: lessee, Great Commission, Great Commission… ::rummages through desk:: …I’m certain I had it in here somewhere…ah, yes! Right here, very end of Matthew. A buncha stuff about making disciples, baptizing, and teaching.

No, no, my friend, you misunderstand me. I’m talking about whether a loving, benevolent God should run the Universe by a different set of rules, not what we should do to make the universe a better place within the existing set of rules.

Mynd you, my personal position is that this is the kindest possible universe that can help us grow into anything worthwhile. But if someone can convince me that there’s a better way for God to arrange things, I’ll help them forward the petition. :smiley:

12

Hmmmm…

OK…first, the “Hands Off” approach:

I would start with the creation of Natural Laws. Then let everything take off from there. See what happens (I would build in a bit of Divine Randomness, so even I, in my Divine Knowledge don’t know for certain how things will turn out…hey, I’m God, I can do that).

If I get bored, I may tweak things a bit. Sooner or later, sentience is bound to “evolve” (I’m God…I can wait).

When it does, I will lay down the Law. Basically, be good to one another, or I shall be Wroth. I would demonstrate my Divine Wrath, just to make sure they get the point (blow up a volcano or something, but I’m not the type for “object lessons” - until someone screws up, they’re safe). I will have one, and only one, Divine Scribe to write everything down. Make sure he (or she) gets the point that a) no fancy prose. Write what I say, as I say it, dammit. And b) no interpretation. If something doesn’t make sense to his (or her) non-Divine mind, let me know, and I’ll clarify.

I may allow for an afterlife, but I’m not going to clue anyone in on it. Live your life. If you screw it up, you get to face the consequences then and there, not when you die. If it’s an affront to Man, other humans can decide what to do about it. If it’s an affront to Me, I’ll handle it.

No Hell. “Lucifer” has no power. I gave him a job, and he blew it. He’s been fired - he doesn’t get his own realm with power equivalent to my own. If he begged, I’d make him human. If not, he gets Oblivion.

Natural disasters I’d still allow. If nothing else, they provide good motivation for the humans to figure things out. If you build your huts on a flood plain, and a subsequent flood wipes out several hundred people, learn from it: don’t build your huts on a flood plain, fercryinoutloud! If a volcano wipes out your village, don’t build it at the base of a volcano. C’mon people, THINK! It’s probably harsh, but I’d also make it clear that I’m not doing it. Sure, I could change things, but what would they learn if I did? I would also make sure everyone knew this was how I felt about it. And no, whining isn’t going to help. It may just incur my Divine Wrath…

I would certainly make my existence known to everyone. If you don’t believe, fine. You’d have to be a moron, but whatever.

13

Taking a cue from Anthony’s And Eternity…, I’d make procreation possible only between two people who love each other and also make it completely and totally voluntary. You couldn’t get pregnant unless you wanted to. Maybe borrow from Lackey’s The Black Griffon and make humanity infertile unless a specific activity or activities were engaged in before the act itself.

Also, I’d make the human metabolism completely efficient, 100%. No more obesity, no more diets, no more sewage.

jayjay (I’m the rare god! I’m the BEAR god!)

14

This is a very interesting question, and I have been thinking about it off and on for a lot the day. (I still got a good amount of work done though!)

One of the first things I pondered was “Why would a perfect being even want to create the world/universe?” My conclusion is that it wouldn’t.

By definition, a perfect being would have no wants or needs. This would imply a time that the being had these needs unsatisfied, and hence could not be perfect. Would you consider a being that needed love perfect? I sure wouldn’t. So, my conclusion is that if I were a perfect-being type God, I wouldn’t have even created the world. I would have no desires and needs, so I would do nothing. A perfect being does not get bored.

Very uninteresting. So, then I thought about what would happen if I, Revtim, a most non-perfect being, would be God. Suppose it was me in the void, before heaven and Earth and Hell and purgatory existed. Either I make them, or they don’t exist. First, would I make world like today’s world? No. I have morals, ethics, and empathy. It would be FAR, FAR, FAR beyond my capacity for evil to create a world were so many innocents suffer. Maybe I would try to make a perfect world, where there is no suffering, and people amuse themselves with games and sports and the like. Why not?

Another scenario is that the world already exists, and suddenly I, flawed Revtim, have the powers of God thrust upon me. I might try to make the world into the game/sport world described above. If that didn’t work for some reason, then I would simply make everybody sterile and let the human race die out, so there would be no more suffering. I would rather the human race not exist than for even some of the people to have to go through the suffering that has existing on this world.

I suspect there are lots of other conslusions I came to that I am missing, but these are the ones I remember now.

15

I would make Magic real. It would have its costs though. I would be a God that strictly believes in a nice balance of things. Vote: Epimetheus for God today!

16

Natural disasters - earthquakes, volcanoe’s etc… A lot of unnecessary suffering there with the added bonus that eliminating it wouldn’t infringe on free will type concepts either.

And I’d add - More sun. People always seem to be in a much better mood when it’s sunnier. I’d also eliminate hay fever to so that everyone could enjoy it.

17

http://www.salon.com/comics/comics2960805.html

18

First of all the obvious:

No Rape. No murder. No torture. No killing in my name (EVER – SO SPAKE GOD!)

Secondly, the philosophy:

I’m a proud parent of 6 billion people. As a parent, I want people to grow, to experience new things, but also to be safe as they learn. So, pretty much, I’d act like I would as a parent of 2 – allow them to play nice if they want, but the second people start hitting, it’s off to their room. Now, if their parents were good and noble, and exc, then they can get by without too much help ( just the occasional talk to show that I still care ). So, if you have good parents, you won’t hear from me as much.

Yes, this essentially means that children will eventually grow up and move out of my realm – so I’d have another world set up, one without my overwhelming presence. But, with two realms, people could learn as they do best – by example.

Thirdly, on to the just plain silly: If I suddenly got appointed God, I’d have everyone speak the same language, and set up a One World Government to explain all the rules. So, pretty much, if I were god, I’d be the Anti-Christ. Oooops.

Finally, some comments for RTFirefly. I’m glad you are critiquing – frankly, it was a bit dull to hear so many good ideas – but no comments on them. But, your philosophy is confusing to say the least. If I were a benevolent father, why would I want my children to doubt my existance? Am I more free because I have never met my mother? Should a benevolent God make sure that all fathers run away before the child is born so that they can be free to disbelieve their fathers existed??? Not in the world I want to live in.

And, as for a common tongue, what exactly is the problem with it. I, as God, am not afraid humans will build a tower SO big it reaches heaven – frankly, I think there might be a lot less suffering if everyone spoke the same language. And, if the “Rules of Being God” forced me to make it look like I don’t exist, I’m sure I could come up with some loophole.

Me’Corva

19

Turn on Red Dwarf’s “justice field” and make it cover all earth.

“This planet is equipped with a “Justice Field” which inflicts the consequences of a crime on its perpetrator” – Rimmer.

20

Less artsy, more fartsy!