If I were God, things would be different around here!

Great Debates
#1

If I were an omnipotent merciful kind of a God, there would be no need for carnivorous behavior. All living things at all level would either be plantlike absorbing nutrients from soil, water, light or whatever might be in their environment and all the mobile life would get all nourishment required from the plant-like entities. I think less red-in-tooth-and-claw is a good thing. This alternative is a savage sort of thing for even non-sentient lifeforms to endure. Eating each other, usually alive, is nasty business on the receiving end. Any current originator of the universe, whatever it may be, seems rather callous at best if one wants to attribute the term ‘merciful’ to it. It’s more like a bad joke than a statement of fact IMO regarding a difference even I, a mortal human, could figure out. Nor do I think it fair for it to be this way in cases of of a single transgression by a couple of individuals, making it bad for all living things everywhere to endure thereafter.

And explosions. I’d do away with those too. Suns exploding, tectonic plates ripping apart… No, no, no, no, no! I’d find a way for similar processes to occur but less violently. Perhaps a sort of slow change-over from state to state. And then, an efficient but pleasant delivery system to do the work that nova suns, gravity, radioactivity and similar forces do to enable a vibrant universe.

It would be nice if all I would have to do is to say the Word and ‘my will be done.’ But really, why wouldn’t the omnipotent, already knowing everything, not be required to figure out the math and physics and biology and such and apply it to accommodate these differences? If you’re going to take a day off on the weekend, working a few days to put it in place would only be fair, wouldn’t it? I ask you, how difficult could it be to change a few laws of nature?

Or, would anyone else like to play God today?

#2

I would have my spokesman, Gabriel, make appearances, flying in on wings with a backing flying choir, wherein he would deliver my message of asking everyone to treat everyone else nicely. I would be playing video games in my undies at home.

#3

being omnipotent, i would have organised it to run smoothly from the start, there would be no need for archangels etc., and everyone (and thing) would just get on with it…! :wink:

#4

Dunno, the two seem sort of at odds. If you’re all powerful, you can’t really do anything to impress yourself. The most you can do is make something that you don’t know how it will react, to amuse yourself with. In that case, any outcome is interesting. A merciful, kind one where there was no conflict or darkness would be uninteresting.

#5

Exactly. I want to see my creations fight for my amusement.

#6

Ah, the Sid Meier deity template…

#7

More Will Wright, I think, because I also like stranding people in swimming pools and taking away their toilets.

#8

Perhaps you could make a small start by following Jainism right now.

You must be the change you want to see in the world.

PS: If you have a leftover cow may I have it?

#9

Very difficult. Tweak things even the tiniest bit, and the universe doesn’t work.

Sorry, God, but you’ll have to go to the back of the class!

#10

Uhh, you guys might wanna practice lucid dreaming for a while first. You know, just in case…

#11

Good for you, it’s about time someone took charge of things round here. When do your new rules kick in? It’s just that I have some venison in the freezer, and it’d be a shame to let it go to waste. Also, I’m curing some meat at the moment, and it won’t be ready to eat for another few weeks. If I won’t be allowed to eat it, I’ll just save myself the bother of salting it.

#12

Not just that, but really, an ideal world is one where there is no want. Everyone gets everything and has no reason to interfere with or harm another. No one is ever harmed by others or nature or mishap. An omnipotent deity could just as easily create a world and a people who were like that. But at the same time, what do those people do except for sit around staring into some beautiful bliss? In the most merciful world, you don’t have to work for food. In that world you don’t have to find the right channel on TV to watch. You don’t even have to experience TV as a 3rd person experience. Except, if everything is perfect, then you don’t need TV because it can’t be better. Essentially, all there is is sitting and experiencing bliss.

Anything less than the direct experience of eternal bliss is less than absolute mercy and kindness. But it’s also meaningless to create such a system. Going around and creating little bubbles of bliss floating in the middle of space where nothing can or ever will happen achieves nothing. You can do so to feel good about yourself, I suppose, but people who never existed wouldn’t have complained for not having a blissfull life either. And there’s no end to it if your goal is to create the maximum amount of bliss. Once you’ve created an infinite number of bliss bubbles, where can you really go to from there?

No, a natural ant-farm that develops on its own with perhaps only the most minimal of interaction to see how it reacts, that’s the only way to do anything that’s interesting at all. Maybe the ants will achieve perfect bliss on their own. Though of course, if they do, you have to start all over again.

#13

Yours would be a world without Looney Tunes, and hence, much inferior to the one we live in. What’s so merciful about that?

#14

I imagine it would suck pretty bad to get eaten even if you’re just a stalk of wheat. You spend your whole existence struggling to eke out a slice of life, sucking up the meager rays of sun you catch when you can, trying to take root in some harsh soil, slurping up what little water you can get and attempting to hold on to it during the dry times, and once you finally get somewhat settled, you get uprooted and ground to bits between some cow’s nasty teeth, then slowly dissolved in several stomachs with breaks in between for more teeth grinding. No, hunger and eating would not be necessary if I were a god.

#15

I would have “talk to God” sessions that anyone who wanted to could instantly hear/see in their head. During these sessions, I’d answer questions, but also take suggestions for improvement: God, Help me Help you.

#16

Depressing as it is, I have a feeling a whole lot of religious people would say this is already the case.

#17

Yeah, but mine would feature eternally young Solid Gold Dancers from their heyday. It would be like one of those TV specials from the 70s.

#18

If I were God, I’d have trouble convincing myself that I exist.

#19

Since I’m an omnipotent god, why have beings that need to eat at all? If you have a problem with people eating things and you can do anything you want, make it so they don’t have to eat at all.

That’s what gets me about visions of heaven that rely on physical needs. Some people view heaven where you will never be wanting for food or anything else. Um, our physical bodies require food, why would our non-corporeal bodies require food or other things like sex? Doesn’t compute for me.

#20

I think the Sid Meier deity template is the one that comes down perhaps unreasonably hard on nuclear weapon use.

But, So Sayeth the Great God Ranchoth: Fuck. That.

On the whole, there’s going to be a lot more smitings around here.