If I was God...

…and Adam And Eve ate that apple, I would’ve smitten them on the spot.
Then I’d put a couple more people in the garden. I’d call them Brett and Marsha. If they ate the apple, they’d be gone, too. The next time, I’d use my super powers to create perfect people. Then I’d wonder why I didn’t do that in the first place.
I admit, I would be a pretty messed-up God.
What would YOU be like as God?

What do you mean if I was God?

If this was in GD, I’d perhaps post a serious answer.

Since we’re in MSPISMSMS, then my reply is the following:

If I was God, the people I would have created would have ALREADY known the difference between good and evil, because being a perfect God I would want them to know that I was the ultimate source of Good, and there was nothing to fear from them knowing it.

Boy, I’ll say. [del]I’ve never heard of a God so fu[/del]
…wait a minute… ::thumbs through Old Testament::
anything you want to tell us?

If I were God, I’d yell my own name whenever I had an orgasm.

…there’d be no explicit sex on TV.

Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea…

Adam and Eve would suffer an eternity of torment for defying me! No, that’d be boring. Knowledge of good and evil is ok with me, so that wouldn’t have been an issue - I’d put a little fence around the Tree of Life, lest they become as me… A little wire fence of DOOM!

Then I’d probably get bored and build something interesting to destroy them. Then a virus to destroy that, then a race of tiny super smart beings, then curious but stupid giants, then I’d toss the whole thing into the sun and start over.

…If God were ADD…

…you wouldn’t be a stickler about the subjunctive case?

Whadda mean “If”? Ever read that book of his? :slight_smile:

If I were God, I’d change my name and enter into a witness protection program.

If I were Goddess, I’d make people so when you poke holes in them, all their blood doesn’t rush out. That was a design flaw, IMHO.

No, I’d make things with power buttons. When it came time to die, you’d just push your button and painlessly shuffle off that mortal coil. I might think about a Reset button, as well.

Also, scratching would actually relieve an itch and not make things worse.

If I were God, I’d have created Adam and Steve. They would have found something better to wear than those stupid fig leaves.

If I were God -

First, I’d change the old God into into a human and force him to work for eternity in a sweatshop owned by Pat Robertson.

Then, rebooting the rest of the world, I’d make the Serpent co-equal to Adam & Eve as a reward for undercutting the old management, and throw in a girl Serpent. He, Adam and Eve would all get a taste of the Tree of Knowledge and the Tree of Life. I’d improve them in general ( we can rebuild them . . . we have the miracles . . . make them faster . . . stronger than before ! )

I would not repeat the mistake of creating the universe. That made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

If I were God, Death Pony would be real

Am I seriously the only other person here who got this song stuck in their head at the OP? :frowning:

If I were God…

Everyone would use their blinker in traffic. It would be a compulsion, much like eating and shitting.


If I were God, everyone would at least consider being nice to each other. Oh, and ice cream would be good for you.

If I were god, everything would be the same as now, except people would be made of bubblewrap.