I was just thinking about a strange incident which occurred while I was reading The Straight Dope on my lunch break, years ago.
I worked for a small, tourist trap shop in San Juan Capristrano, and I would often eat my lunch outside, in the courtyard between the shop and the train station. It was a pleasant place to read. I was happily fighting my own personal ignorance, when a perfectly coiffed businessman sat down next to me and started to hit on me. He had “asshole” written all over him, so I didn’t even look up from my book. If he’d been a nice person, I might have gotten into a brief coversation with him, but he acted like he was bestowing a great honor on me. I finally said, “I’m married”, then went back to my reading.
A couple minutes passed, then he said, “You’re pretty stupid, but do you think you could manage to watch my briefcase for me while I get a cup of coffee. I mean, you don’t need to strain your brain or anything. Just sit there and soak up some rays till I get back.” Then the idiot actually LEFT his case, and a stack of sales manuals, in my care. I never said a word. I finished my coke, grabbed my book and left his crap sitting there unattended.
When I related this bizarre incident to my co-workers, they told me I should have DONE something to his stuff, and one of them actually marched out back in a huff, to toss it all into the fountain on my behalf. The jerk was already gone.
I’m usually a pretty non-combative type, but every once in a while I daydream about what I MIGHT
have done. Tell me, what would YOU have done with his briefcase. Don’t hold back:D!